The Art of Living

Revelling in her new found freedom

2011-06-10T15:24:00.003Z

One of my sisters sent a BB message early this morning to tell me that she was doing just that: revelling in her new found freedom. Freedom from what I hear you say? Freedom from stress, freedom from busyness and a release into a state of being at liberty.

She has submitted her final piece of course work for her second Masters programme and had thus decided to take the whole of June off. Off work, off stress, off busyness. I had noticed that her BB profile pics were changing rather oddly throughout the whole of this month thus far. I thought something was amiss – for someone who was reticent (as I am, I suppose) to upload a picture of herself on her BB profile, she was uploading a new picture every day. Beautiful pictures, I might add. Whatever is going on in Abidemi’s life, I wondered? Whatever it was, I liked her refreshed and daily refreshing BB profile pics.

So this morning she spilled the beans
She’s taken June off. Off so that she could be. Off should that she could live. Off so that she could rest. Off so that she could celebrate herself. And off so that she could exhale – really exhale from a deep joy. Even I exhaled as I read her BB IM. My response? ‘Dearest sis, celebrating yourself is one of your life’s commission’.

As I wrote that it almost felt narcissistic, and even blasphemous. But I typed that nevertheless. As I grow in age I am beginning to cherish so many things and people that are dear to so much more. The need to reconnect with old friends and stay connected to them. The need to take that trip to Zurich whilst in London if only for a even a day to connect with an old friend whose friendship I value but who I have not been able to meet up with less on Skype and email for too many years. The need t take that extra day whilst on a business trip to Kenya and celebrate with old friends – and take that trip to the Masai Mara. The need to rise up early and watch the sunrise during that weekend away on the secluded and serene and warming beach bay of Lou Moon Lodge. The need to fill my home with those pleasantries that calm and relax me. The need to start cooking hosting weekend lunches and dinners again. The need to take time out whilst on a business trip thousands and thousands and thousands of miles away to call my lovely, lovely niece and wish her a happy 8th birthday. The need to take that 5 hour drive to that quaint upcountry resort with my sister for the weekend. The need to celebrate life.

Series Life Indulgence in the Little Things
Such needs consume me now. Like Abidemi I had also just recently completed a Masters programme. And I found time on my hands again to use as I desired – and I knew I had to use the time most preciously. I wanted to recommence series Life Indulgence in the Little Things. Me-time on Saturday mornings. Spending time with protégés and mentors. Choosing and wanting to wake up early to pray and praise.

It’s a new life all over again. Won’t you join us?

Flawed - by design

2011-05-03T18:06:00.004Z

Celebrating the Royal Wedding
The Royal Wedding was celebrated in style ... far beyond the shores of the United Kingdom. We here had a celebration for the Royal Bride and Groom in Accra! A friend hosted a sumptuous English breakfast adorned with all the elaboration of stylishly and vibrantly dressed Accra ladies sporting pearls, Swarovski crystals and fascinators – all as the ladies watched The Big Event live over a huge screen.

I regretably had to turn down my invitation. Knocked out by malaria most of throughout last week, I had to do with watching the wedding online. Yes, online!

We had ‘enjoyed’ torrential rains overnight (what sweet relief from all that sweltering heat we had suffered throughout Thursday) and, as often happens here, the electricity power went off as a result of the thunder storms and lightening. And yes, you guessed it, it did NOT come back in time for me to watch the wedding live courtesy of the British Broadcasting Corporation. I had to resort to my internet connection, and when the battery ran out on my laptop, well, I had to start using my imagination for the rest of the service...!

Time and chance
But what really struck me was the element of destiny throughout the whole celebration of love that commenced when the Royal Engagement was announced. The level and intensity of goodwill for the now Duke and Duchess of Cambridge has been immense as it has been heart warming. And I do very much feel that much of that goodwill perhaps has transcended from the deep love that the British public and many others globally endeared for Diana, Princess of Wales, the Duke of Cambridge’s mother.

Not that Diana herself was the happiest woman alive when she was with us. We all know too well of her apparent misery in marriage. We do also of course know of her clear and unquestionable compassion. Her compassion for the less fortunate, and her desire for her children to be deliberately exposed to some of the realities of the society around them.

Undoubtedly this did not win her any brownie points amongst the Royal household at the time, but carry-on she did. I am persuaded that it was this her convictions that has so shaped the character and person of her two sons. Two Royals and young men who are equally compassionate and peculiarly hardworking (the BBC reported that the Duke of Cambridge will return to work this week). Royals wanting to connect to ordinary people – and look how popular it has made them! The Duke of Cambridge has certainly warmed opinions towards the Monarchy.

Genealogies and destiny
Much of course has been made of the ‘common’ genealogy of Kate Middleton. She is of course now the Duchess of Cambridge.

And I smile as I write for destiny awaits all of us. Diana, Princess of Wales’s was perhaps to awaken the British Monarchy of the need to be more at home with the British people – even in her death! I remember that last day in August in 1997 when she died. If my memory serves me right The Queen was in Balmoral when the news came and she remained there until the loud and resounding voice of the British public persuaded her to return to Buckingham Palace. As tributes and flowers flooded Buckingham Palace and Kensington Palace, the public again loudly expressed their desire and need for her and the rest of the immediate Royal Family to come out of the Palace to acknowledge them and their tributes. And this she did.

Destiny awaits all of us. Destiny awaits us in our convictions and character which blesses some and infuriates others; in our struggles which spur us; as well as our struggles which steer us into uncommon destinations.

Cum Laude

2011-03-18T11:05:00.005Z

It was one of those days when one felt fulfilled. A good day at work and all the meetings had been exceptional; and your heart glows with immense delight. But as I finished dinner at the hotel restaurant and returned to my room to do a bit a reading, and perhaps watch a little TV, out from nowhere I thought it was finally time to start an MBA programme. Now with some solid years of work experience, a better understanding and grasp of the issues, constraints and possibilities in my work discipline , and with my own ideas and thoughts on the ‘how to’ and the ‘how might’ of instilling change, I felt that this was the time.

The new learning beginning
So the MBA journey began with gusto. Logged on at least every other day to learn and share experiences with fellow distance learning students from the world over. Debated, informed and was informed myself. Totally exhilarating. But as the deadlines rolled in for essay submissions, and I faced a thousand and one firm and client imposed deadlines at work, I quickly realised that this journey was going to be challenging even if exhilarating. In fact, what isn’t in life?

Module after module I had to ask for an extension for the submission of my essays. Module after module I waned in participating in the discussions as business travel took me to obscure nations with sporadic internet connectivity in less than average hotels. Module after module I spent deadline weekends battling to read up on eight weeks of course work in one weekend, chose and essay topic and then write the essay. I got into the flow of studying and thankfully, remarkably really, consistently scored merits and distinctions module after module. To all those friends that thought I was a geek, I say I probably was....

Bloody hard work, I tell you.

And I was juggling
Then came the period when I lost a colleague and also journeyed through a particularly difficult time in my personal life. And I knew I couldn’t even think about the MBA in amidst work pressures and these personal quest challenges. So I deferred on a couple of modules. Totally gutted to have had to do it but, to be honest, I had no other choice. Tell me, how do you juggle bereavement, bereavement counselling, therapy and a demanding work schedule with an MBA programme? Well, I chose to defer the latter pressure for some time.

But then I got back into the swing of things. Flowed again. Returned to the flow of studying. But the merits and distinctions were less consistent and it was even harder work to score a pass let alone a merit! But struggle on we must.

The end came on the modules and, I tell you, I was glad for it. An average of a merit. I was glad for that. Phew. I could have my life back again. Yes, the dissertation was next but les time pressures – at least I had much longer to crack this one.

Some three months into the dissertation period I decided on a topic and submitted my dissertation proposal – written from a hotel room in Abuja whilst on yet another assignment. There was an urgency to at least start thinking about this research, be assigned a supervisor and to develop a chapter by chapter submission plan. So I submitted the proposal. Three weeks passed and no response. Another week and no response. A week later I learnt that the proposal had been rejected. No supervisor nominated to supervise it. The proposal needed much more thought.

I was gutted, but not surprised. I took me another six months to revise the proposal. When I finally did, one of the tutors magnanimously agreed to supervise my work and tendered some tremendous advice on how to make the research more academically sound. I remember thinking at the time: this is a case of self-inflicted pain.

Motivation and resolve
It took another couple of months to send the first chapter, and in the middle of that, in an effort to motivate myself, I thought about the dedication section of the dissertation. It was uncomplicated to decide who this was going to be dedicated to. As I thought about what to write in my dedication to my late father, somehow I knew it wouldn’t be long before I would finish the dissertation. Remembering his life, his toil and dedicated resolve to better the life of his children in no uncertain terms, I was spurred. Chief, this one’s for you.

Good success
It was two days ago that I got the news. Out here on a short break at the serene and charming beach resort of Loumoon Lodge, I was informed of the news on my MBA. Yes, I had passed. But I had not only passed, I had passed with a merit.

With immense gratitude and immeasurable love, I thanked my Father and my father.

Food Coaching

2011-03-10T15:31:00.003Z

Life coaching. Seems like everyone I know is a life coach at the moment. And doing a blooming good job at it! With every conversation every small piece of information is taken to a deeper and higher level of insight and inspection. Goodness, gracious.

At the Gym Changing Room
So I am talking to a fellow gym-er at the changing rooms at the gym and, as female gym-ers do, we started a conversation about exercise and weight loss. My fellow gymer informs that she’s got a life coach (here we go again) who sorts her out on exercising for her desired shape, dieting and cooking advice, and (wait for it, wait for it) life coaching. I almost tripped off balance. Best thing she’s done over decades, she told me. The life coach really makes you think about your relationship with food in the context of your outlook on life. Why does that matter? Why would I care to think about my food likes and dislikes within the context of my life? After all my life and my lifestyle is made up of so many thematic areas – from faith, to relationships, to career, to money, to family, to so many things. I was informed that there is a direct correlation. Okaaay. And I was invited to the next meeting of the Diet, Exercise and Life Coaching Club.

I must admit I was a bit dubious at the first meeting. The life coach met each one of us individually, talked to us about our diet and lifestyles, our goals and objectives for weight loss. It was a case of really deliberating on your eating lifestyle, the positive and negative externalities of that lifestyle, and the motivation for wanting to change the negative externalities.

Dieters Anonymous
But I began to give it some thought. And couldn’t really get my head round the whole thing. So I stopped thinking. I was given my food plan for the week, weighed and advised to give the life coach a call if and when I was facing any challenge with the plan.

The only thing is, on this plan you eat five times a day. Yep, you read right. Five times a day. Three meals, two snacks. You must eat five times a day.

I was challenged. Not that I don’t like food nor like to eat. On the contrary. Look at the size of me for a start...! But I really resented this pre-occupation with food. How could one be deliberating on food through the day? I am used to eating what I want, when I want. Not that I eat unhealthily mind. In fact I like to think I eat quite healthily on average. But I am on the go a lot and as such often miss breakfast, will eat lunch, and dinner will be if and when – usually something small - some nachos or plantain chips with wine when I get home. Yeah, I know. Don’t laugh. And, yes, I forgot, I may snack on something during the day – like a bar of chocolate, or some digestive biscuits, or a glass of wine with my lunch..... Hmmm, maybe not so healthy after all.

I did try to keep to the diet and exercise plan. I tried. I was good with the diet plan for three days, but failed miserably on the exercise plan. Which was surprising because I am an avid gym-er. I love to exercise. If they don’t see me at gym for a week, they call me! That was me – until I was told that I should exercise. Hmmm, get the picture of personality and lifestyle?

Food mapping, life mapping
So I started to think about me, myself and my relationship with food and my lifestyle to determine if there were any correlations. Life coach moment.

I began to draw out my mind map. I particularly love to eat good food. I much more particularly love to eat good food that is not cooked by me. I much much much more love to eat good food over a glass of wine preferably in the company of friends and family that I truly love. Anything else is just a bother.

Then I had a bingo moment.

Maybe all those years at boarding school, sitting down to eat three (and they were good, wholesome, healthy) meals at day, in the company of friends had had its impact. Moreso, we had proper break and tea time – two a day. It was tea and biscuits, or tea and sandwiches – all made by someone else, of course.

Deliberated Moments. The Experience of Food
But I guess what I appreciated about those moments was that they were deliberated moments. Particularly at weekends, we had to dress for dinner. Have a shower and change for dinner. It was almost like a regime. Adult now, and on the go most of the time, I don’t really make a fuss for meal times. Meal times are not chronicled to speak. I do it as and when – on the go in content and time. Less those moments when I lunch or dine out or in with friends, family or clients. Now, those are the food moments that I really enjoy. The laid table. The company. The wine. The service. The quality food. The courses. The atmosphere. The experience. Things being done properly. That was it. I enjoy the experience of food with some or all of those elements.

So you like to make a meal of food? Yes, I responded.

On The Order of Things
Then it struck me. Things being done properly. The order of things. Thought. Atmosphere. Experience. Enjoyment. Delight. Satisfaction. Hmm. Yes, these strike a chord. For I appreciate order. Doing the right thing. At work, at play, in life. No half measures. If it’s got to be done, do it right, do it well. Even when I go running at the weekends its on a scenic route. I find the whole experience not only refreshing but inspirational. I think, I pray and I relax. For that hour, nothing else matters but the air that I breathe, the greenery I see and the beauty of creation around me. It is at those moments of calm and peace that I remember, bring to the forefront of my memory that I am truly blessed. Who was it that said that the secret to a happy life was continuous small treats? That happiness depends on ourselves? Our choices?

So maybe this life coaching thing is not mumbo jumbo after all.

And on the negative, wild side?
Well, I don’t like to waste time, expend time if it’s not needed. If all I am doing is eating to satisfy my stomach, I am running a busy schedule on a particularday and can’t spare the time of a meal experience, why can’t I just ‘junk’ it? It’s like shopping at the market as opposed to a supermarket only to save $20. What a palaver. What about the trade-off of my time, the wear and tear of my car, not to talk about the wear and tear of my body having sweated through that whole process of shopping in an African market when I don’t really have to? I mean, last time I shopped at a market for my vegetables, they rotted faster and I had to double wash them in a Milton solution twice over. Convince me that is not a waste of time.

We are all causes of our own effects
When I relayed all this to life coach, she wasn’t all too pleased.

When you say you can’t be bothered, well, who are you doing it for? It’s all for you. It’s all about you. You need to make time for you. Make time for the food that fuels you. Make time for your brand. Make time to be the person you want to be.

Selah. I got it.

Week two was going to be a better week. And I had learned a whole lot about myself and my lifestyle preferences.

Hello, what happened to my memory?

2011-03-10T09:46:00.004Z

It’s one of those things that you fear to tell others about less you discover that you are the only one that suffers the condition. And that it might be an indication that some bigger, negative cerebral disposition. Yeh, I know. Far-fetched. But mid-life memory loss is real.

So real that I was glad when I read about it in the O magazine this morning.

All so familiar and I could laugh at myself at last! So I am not the only one that sometimes momentarily puts the butter on the pantry shelf and the tinned, what’s it called - those yellow vegetables (you see, here we go again!) sweet corn in the fridge. It’s those pieces of tiny information that fails you. Like the time you are packing your gym bag early in the morning and you remember that you haven’t put the deodorant in the gym bag. You go towards the bathroom - literally 10 seconds away – and when you get there you have completely forgotten what you came there to fetch. Good God!

I did once ask an older friend whether he found that he forgot things a lot more than he’d like to admit. His response? ‘’Goodness, yes!” Wonderful, I thought. Never felt such comfort and ease as someone else’s misfortune. Oh, yes. He explained that it was probably because as you get older you are working with and processing a lot of information all at the same time; thinking about so many things, bigger things and invariably those more minor and nonetheless apparent pieces of information fail you under pressure. Hmmm. I liked the sound of that. Yes, my life is so busy and meaningful that I am allowed to pick up the newspaper on my desk as I rush off for a meeting thinking it’s my laptop.....! Yes, that explains it.

Notwithstanding though, I remember every little bit about those most memorable experiences and those fine, comforting things about life – the weekends away and the delicious food devoured over breakfast, lunch and dinner; the very name of that perfume I must get my sister to purchase for me on her next trip out here; the name of that Molton Brown hand cream that I just love but can’t buy here and I have the name at the tip of my tongue ready to disclose to anyone travelling to the UK at any given moment.

Talking of weekends away, those pictures are from the last one. Lunch was sumptuous last Sunday!

Dance with my Father

2011-03-08T00:02:00.004Z

It was during one of those ordinary Sunday afternoons. Home, unwinding after church, preparing lunch and thinking ahead to plan what I might as well also prepare and cook for the week ahead. Having decided on what lunch would be, I settled on just baking some fish for the week ahead – anything else just seemed too complicated at that moment in time. Yes, that was it. Fish would be the main source of protein. So there it was. Keeping it simple.

Crushed Garlic
Out came the slabs of fish, olive oil, herbs, lemon, salt and garlic. I was taught that the best baked fish is minimally seasoned, so keeping it simple was the key. So we began the process of preparing the marinade that would be soaked in by the fish, infuse with the flavour of the fish itself, and voila.

I chose two fat chunks of garlic cloves, peeled off the skin and brought out the garlic crusher. Within seconds out came that familiar aroma. Reassuringly familiar. The other ingredients where added and stirred. Suddenly the whole kitchen was overpowered with the marinade, with the odour of garlic firmly, strongly and potently in the lead.

And I began to ponder on the potency of this bulb. In peeling it of its skin, I removed the seeming innocence of this powerful and potent flavour enhancer and natural health remedy; for truly the garlic cloves before being crushed had just laid there as innocent unassuming bystanders in the vegetable basket. And I considered how such a tiny item could embody such potency.

Somehow, somewhere, the parallel with our own lives came to mind. And I began to have this conversation with myself.

A Conversation with me, myself and I
As the garlic clove did, it may not be so bad then to withstand the pressures of existence so that the fullness of our potency and riches could be released. Those ever present pressures, experiences and maybe even disappointments that we seem to meet day in day out. Might we find therein our potency, our interests, our calling, our strengths, our weakness, our values?

It was a few days afterwards that I purchased a copy of Nelson Mandela’s book, Conversations with Myself. The ‘conversation’ that he himself starts with in the book is that which was in a letter he wrote to his wife Winnie in 1975:

All copyrights etc to Madiba, of course

In judging our progress as individuals we tend to concentrate on external factors such as one’s social position, influence and popularity, wealth and standard of education. These are of course important in measuring one’s success in material matters....but internal factors may be even more crucial in assessing one’s development as a human being. Honesty, sincerity, simplicity, humility, pure generosity, absence of vanity, readiness to serve others – qualities which are within easy reach of every soul are the foundation of one’s spiritual life. Development in matters of this nature is inconceivable without serious introspection, without knowing yourself, your weakness and mistakes. At least, if for nothing else, the cell gives you the opportunity to look daily into your entire conduct to overcome the bad and develop whatever is good in you.

Madiba’s garlic crusher, that which developed his potency, his unique character and that which shaped the formidable individual which he has come to be, was his prison cell. Locked up in a prison cell for decades, he purposefully introspected. Thought and deliberated deeply. We know too well the outcome.

In the same letter he concluded:

Regular meditation, say about 15 minutes a day before you turn in, can be very fruitful in this regard. You may find it difficult at first to pinpoint the negative features in your life, but the 10th attempt may yield rich rewards. Never forget that a saint is a sinner who keeps in trying.
Awaken joy
Each new dawn, even with its crush and squash, can be the morning of our lives. Each new day may well awaken joy.

Comfort food, soothing songs, calming joy

2011-02-19T04:07:00.004Z

Whenever I need comforting, I resort to one of the following routines:

(a) purchase of one too many baklavas (sweet layers of filo pastry filled with chopped nuts and sweetened with syrup or honey), a rush home to make a pot of tea, followed by a plonk on the sofa with the TV channel on BBC World, preferably with one of those documentaries such as the World’s Untold Stories or the Qatar Debates
(b) Listen to Marvin Gaye’s absolutely marvellous epic rhymes as told in the classic ‘What’s Going On?’ album, preferably whilst driving on a scenic route
(c)Afternoon spent at Mummy’s kitchen table – eating home cooked food, enjoying some wine, and chit chatting the day away knowing that you wouldn’t trade these moments for anything else

And I certainly needed my baklavas yesterday
As I and my colleagues drove into Roberts International airport, I was glad for the imminent return home. Home. Comfort. Rest.

But even before I walked into the airport terminal the thoughts of my personal effects which I would now have to go home without engulfed my feelings, for we had just realised that the hotel porter had failed to bring my luggage down to the hotel lobby from the room as I had asked. In a rush to our meetings of the morning, confident that the porter had followed the instructions given to him, I had failed to check that my luggage was in the boot of the car together with those of my colleagues. It was too late now to go back to the hotel now and return to the airport – we had less than an hour or so before departure, and we were travelling on an American airline. The security checks would take at least that amount of time.

I pondered on the items of my personal effects that I would be going home without:

 My Tiffany Amber black flowing chiffon comfort skirt. That one that you could dress up and dress down. Yes, the one that was ready-to-wear whatever time of the month it is and whatever the occasion – formal or informal
 My newly purchased ReneeQ designed Swarovski crystal jewellery set. Less than a week old. Expressly chosen, lovingly worn only on one other occasion.
 My gorgeous Seyi Jones Afro-chic, puffy sleeved shirt. Dress up, dress down – any day, any time. No more
 And my Bible. My Message translation of the Holy Bible. Yes, The Message. For I did away with the King James’ and the NIVs years ago for a more refreshing, energising and down-to-earth translation of The Holy Bible.
 My only pair of flat shoes – reserved for travelling and those European and American walk-till-you-drop shopping trips
 All of my make-up. Yes, ALL. Foundation, powder, lip liner, mascara, blush. Even my Bobbi Brown liquid eyeliner duo.

Oh yes, I needed comforting.

After the two hour long flight I arrived home and longed for my cup of tea and baklava. I longed to hear Mr Gaye speak inspiration into me even as he would sing those instructive and melodious songs and hymns in the ‘What’s Going On?” album. I longed for Mummy’s hug and to hear her voice. I longed for a feast at her kitchen table. Comfort.

But Mummy was in Zimbabwe, the supermarket was closed when I arrived back home, and I couldn’t find my What’s Going On? CD.

Calming joy
But hey, guess what? Mummy’s back tonight and I found my CD this morning!

I revelled in the melody and message of the songs as I drove to the gym early this morning. The air was clean and fresh as I drove, and I knew, as I felt then, that all God’s children need comforting every now and again. In between thanking God and finding relaxation, I pondered on where and how I would replace my make-up items, Bible and favourite sloppy-lounging-at home dress. I exhaled.

But the lyrics of all the songs on that CD really lifted and comforted me. Marvin Gaye rhymed of the need to make peace a priority and not war: peace with yourself and peace in the world. He crooned of the need to respect our environment, not to destroy it for in so doing we save ourselves – inevitably respecting yourself, humanity and the lives of others; and he spoke of the need for freedom. Freedom from the lies of governments and freedom from the deceit of our political leaders. And last but not least Mr Gaye beamed about Love – the love for God and the love for humanity.

Oh yes, I was comforted.

Adjusting the sails

2011-02-11T19:12:00.003Z

We cannot always direct the tenor and severity of the wind of life that blows at us, we but can certainly adjust the sails.

We can adjust the sails and even as we do so the day comes when you gather the strength of spirit so high that you not only adjust the sails, but you also threaten the sacred cow that seeks to intimidate you.

Confronting our difficulties is sometimes as necessary as praying them away.

Dousing self importance
This week has been a week filled with God’s abundant grace; and I have had to stoop and choose humility and compassion in a situation where I really might have chosen fury. I believe that in choosing meekness instead of fury, I threatened the sacred cow that sought to intimidate and imprison me in the stronghold of pride and self-importance. Note, self-importance – not self-assurance which I spoke/wrote about some days ago, for these are two totally opposing dispositions.

We can adjust the sails and choose faith, hope and love as the principles that will bind and govern our behaviours and responses. For in doing that you not only demonstrate self-mastery but you also exhibit faith, hope and love.

Faith, hope and love
But even as I think self-mastery is a crucial and critical tool for this C21st living, I am convinced that faith, hope and love are ancient tools of the art of living. I haven’t mastered these myself but I certainly must. For with faith, we exhibit an acceptance that we are creators of The Creator; with hope we demonstrate our reliance on The Creator; and with love we express the gladness of faith and hope’s profit and dividend.

The ancient Holy Scriptures speak to the importance and significance of love. And as we approach St Valentine’s day it is heart warning to speak of love!

But we really should speak of love not as the verb but as a noun. We should speak of the Love that is governed by faith, hope and love. For the verb to love today has become synonymous with falsities. The falsities of sending red roses to your sweetheart on St Valentine’s day when you know that you haven’t really respected nor loved him/her. The roses sit on her/his table rather as a trophy of falsities as opposed to a testimony of your endearment.

The falsities of ‘treating’ your partner to a weekend at that exquisite resort for St.Valentine only for you to sneak away at moments during the weekend to make that call, send that text or that BB IM to your ‘bit on the side’. These are the falsities that keep us worshiping the sacred cow of pride and self-importance, even as we nurture and feed the cycle of vulnerability.

The greatest of these is Love
But let us talk about the noun Love. Love, founded on faith and hope. Love, which really ought to govern all things. For if Love governed all things we might really all know a happier existence. Love has chosen though, in tenderness and affection, to allow us the liberty of mind and the freedom to choose Him, Love, or to choose love. I am convinced that Love’s premise in doing that is to permit us the independence of mind to realise that love fails but Love abides.

But when we persist in love, the doings and undoings of love, catastrophe strikes. The catastrophes of denial and despair. The catastrophe of love may strike once, it may strike twice or it may even strive five hundred times. I have surely experienced love’s catastrophe a number of times – as a giver of catastrophe and a recipient of catastrophe. Either way, love always deceived and injured both the do-er and do-ee.

Love, rather, is the way to go.

Wheels within wheels
Incredibly as I was writing this piece, I was led to read the book of Ezekiel. As I read Eugene Peterson’s introduction of the book of Ezekiel, I understood why I had been led to the piece. Mr Peterson. He writes:

Catastrophe strikes and a person’s world falls apart. People respond variously, but two of the more common responses are denial and despair. Denial refuses to acknowledge the catastrophe. It shuts its eyes tight, it takes refuge in distractions and lies and fantasies. Despair is paralysed by the catastrophe and accepts it as the end of the world. It is unwilling to do anything, concluding that life for all intents and purposes is over. Despair listlessly closes its eyes to a world in which all the colour has drained out, a world gone dead...... But Ezekiel saw. He saw what the people with whom he lived either couldn’t see or wouldn’t see...God was at work in a catastrophic era. The denial people refused to see that the catastrophe was in fact catastrophic. How could it be? God wouldn’t let anything that bad happened to them. Ezekiel showed them. He showed them that, yes, there was catastrophe, but God was at work in the catastrophe, sovereignly using the catastrophe. He showed them so that they would be able to embrae God in the worst of times

Might we this Love week, forget those things which are behind? Might we forget the love ways of the past? Might we chose to reach forth to those things which are before us? Might we press, towards the mark, of the higher calling, that’s laid up for us in Love?

Happy Love Week!

Communicating your dance

2011-02-05T10:48:00.005Z

I recently read somewhere that great communication is preceded by connection. What a lesson in communication and connection I have just had.

I just returned from lunch in the home of a wonderful couple. My friends, my teachers, my dinner party buddies – for so very often we and a couple of other friends find ourselves regularly rotating around each other’s homes with the odd new joiner every now and again. What a wonderful way to spend a Friday afternoon!

The Art of Conversation
Mrs had laid the table on the terrace and though it was warm outside the food, company and the conversation complemented the warmth of spirit that I felt in my soul as we thanked God for the day, enjoyed home cooked lunch and the company of my friend’s wonderful aunty who was visiting from the States. The atmosphere was filled with warmth and authenticity. No pretence here. I ate with my fingers, enjoyed the additional glass of wine and gave a toast and big ups to God Almighty for bringing us thus far. As I rushed back to work I couldn’t help but thank my hosts for their warm and genuine hospitality.

It was then that I remembered the quote I had read earlier on in the week on communication and connection. We connected – even with the two new and additional friends I had met at my friends’ place. The atmosphere rang loveliness, warmth and thankfulness for life.

Connecting to dance fluidly in trust and respect
But like Oprah Winfrey once said, communication is like a dance. One person takes one step forward in communication, and the other takes a step back. A step back to listen. A step back to absorb what the other person has said. A step back to respect them in their thoughts and mindsets and a step back to respond to them. A step back to connect. A step back to trust, for if you don’t trust someone you cannot really connect with them and your dance of communication would necessarily be tilted. Connection is preceded by quality, genuine communication. No, not shallow, superficial, on-the-surface conversations.

And that can also be in the business and personal sphere.
The clients that I have really connected with over the years have been those that really wanted change in their organisation, who trusted in our ability to deliver that technical and organisational change, and deemed us to be credible business partners to facilitate the change they needed. Note partners, not just service providers.

And they were willing to listen, really hear, what (with the diversity of our firm’s global intellectual capacity) we had to say about how that change might occur. We in turn also listened to them, we heard out their experiences and journey thus far, and respected the constraints and successes of that journey to date. Our task as change agents was to facilitate the change that would bring about the next higher level of improved performance.

And the personal sphere? When I think of those really wonderful personal friendships that I am blessed to have, those ones in which I really connect with the individuals and or the couple, those relationships are built on the foundations of mutual respect and mutual trust. With those fundamentals, we can really flow.

Dancing to the rhythm of life
Connecting in communication comes from the premise of respect, trust, transparency and kindness. In sum, journeying with the other person. It is when there has been little connection with the other person that communication is distrustful and stilted. Likewise when there is insufficient communication, connection is stifled.

I savoured and celebrate the transparency and openness of my lunch guests today. I am grateful that in openness, honesty to and respect for one another we were able to awaken connection and dance to the rhythm of life.

Overcoming the fear of flying

2011-02-04T10:12:00.002Z

When you’ve overcome the fear of flying, you can enjoy cruising at the highest altitude.

Having attended at least 3 out of 4 Sunday church services in a month since 18 September 1994 (the day I really became ‘churched’), self acceptance has been my journey’s prize. Self acceptance. Sermon after sermon you are life coached to get in touch with your emotions, to let-go of your fears, and to pursue those issues of life that secure your development and success but also ensure your peace.

Your fears of failure, fears of success. To let go of those terrible events in your childhood that still manage to hunt you even unto adulthood. That sexual abuse as a child. The drug abuse as a teenager whose memory leaves you shaking your head in shame. The unhealthy marriage of your parents and the separation of your parents which brought sadness, anger, ambivalence and denial – and also left you needy of attention and love even unto adulthood. The betrayal and deceit of a loved one which left you unable to trust again as you closed in on your emotions; and the passing of a loved-one which so destabilised your life that all your emotional literacy and intelligence depleted. The years of separation from your parents which leaves you lost and ambivalent. Oh yes, I have been there.

Awakening Self Acceptance
Since that Sunday in September 1994, sermon after sermon my Father peeled off layer after layer of years of discontent, fear, shame, and every other negative adjective related to unhappiness. It was a process, a procedure – and a looong one at that.

The beauty of it is that many a times you don’t even realise that the layers are being removed, for during the journey and quest of life we all get knocked off our soap box every so often – and we collect the dirt and debris of hurt and pain as we do so. So it is a looong process. That is until the day you suddenly see yourself in a new light, you have the mind and spirit that you yourself can respect; and self-acceptance awakens.

And as self-acceptance awakens so does ease, so does relief, and so does simplicity. A simplicity of knowing. A simplicity of knowing so real that it could be perceived as complexity. Even arrogance and pretence. For when you begin to see humankind from a perspective contrary to those of many others it is you that is perceived to be the anomaly. Oh yes. Therein lies the paradox. And there might even be some truth in that.

Celebrating Births
I was a dinner with a friend last night to celebrate her birthday. As we dined, for a moment she paused and remarked that besides my functional relationships, she thought it really would be difficult for an admirer to approach me – for I have, she said, a confidence and poise so exact it borders on intimidation.

I smiled back and relayed a story. The story of my past. My despair, my shame, my fears. The story of my past vulnerabilities and loneliness. The story of my beautiful life as the world saw it. The story of my beautiful life of how I had struggled to do those things that the world expected me to - date more regularly, fake happiness, fake contentment. The story of how I went out every Wednesday {Legends, Old Burlington Street, London W1}, Friday {Upstairs at Harvey Nicks}, then a bit of Quaglinos, and then dance the night away at Tramps on Saturdays. The story of how I appeared happy but yet longed for something so much more out of my life.

And the story of how I found no peace in doing all of those things. And the story of how I came into my own being in the Lord and decided that I needed and wanted to live my life on my own terms. If nothing else for my own peace of mind. Garbage in, garbage out – a person who is not whole cannot give out wholeness to other people. Not in business (remember the movie Wall Street 2?), and definitely not in relationships. And when we fail to address the negative emotional issues of our lives, numb them out in fact and seek to develop and grow nevertheless it normally catches up on us – in failed business and personal relationships (Wall Street 2 again), ill-health, abandonment and regret.

Madiba's Self Acceptance
A woman of faith (and substance) herself, my friend spoke of how one’s faith and substance, and the lifestyle that comes with it, can make one appear superior and proud. She had been through a similar experience she echoed. But we concluded that like Marianne Williamson said in her wonderful book, Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles, there’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. I exist not to make anyone feel insecure, but to authentically and sincerely safeguard my own abundant life.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others

No wonder Madiba chose these words as part of his inauguration speech.

Self-acceptance. Neither seeking approval nor afraid of rejection. Simply interested in living an authentic life.

Peace in the world begins with peace in you.

A Life Less Ordinary

2011-02-02T19:36:00.007Z

Remembering Tonye

My brother rang me on Saturday morning - nothing out of the ordinary about that. A relentless traveller, he made a habit of sending text messages and calling from wherever in the world he found himself - just to check how I am doing, what is making me smile today, and even what I have read of late. Remarkable really when one considers that for at least three weeks in any one month he is travelling - and yet he never omits to send that sms message, make that call, and send that funny email.

But this past Saturday he rang with some bad news. He asked whether it was me that had introduced him to Tonye Claude-Wilcox some years back in London. I proudly remarked that it was. For who wouldn't be proud to know Tonye? Eager to hear more news of Tonye's wonderful feats, I enquired what Tonye had been up to lately. The news was bad, he said. Tonye had passed.

'No. No. No. No. No. No,' were the only words that I could utter. I promptly told my brother that I needed to get off the phone and that I would call him later.

Wonderful Tonye

I had met Tonye through the Love Fellowship in London. Yes, that same fellowship that I have written about again and again. Full of life, Tonye lived life with gusto. Even the memory of his gusto puts a smile on my face as I write. Tonye's speech, his walk, and his energy was as liberating as it was infectious. Full of ambition, for Tonye life was his to live and for him to live in gladness and pleasure - and he was ready to put in the hours and intensity of effort required to know that abundant life. He readily shared, readily loved, and was readily so so so humourous!

Years passed by without us seeing each other as we pursued each of our careers, but we caught up in Lagos a few years ago. How proud I was! Tonye was living his dream, his life less ordinary - glory be to God. Kind, generous, hard working, down to earth. Tonye was extra-ordinary.

Tonye, the very memory of you stirs up inspiration in me. I am grateful to God for having known you in this life, and I am comforted knowing that you knew The Lord; that you are now resting with God, Love Himself. And that you are in a place where the streets are paved of gold, and the gates of pearls.

With much love

The Eco Reserve and the Beaded Angel

2011-01-31T13:21:00.003Z

A couple of requests have come through for the name and contact details of the Eco Reserve I mentioned in the last posting. Here we go: www.phantomforest.com A haven for rustic luxury with all the trimmings of hospitality magnificence and gourmet dining. I recommend Phantom Forest unreservedly.

Breakfast with Vervet Monkeys
On my last morning at the forest (for it is literally a natural forest into which delightful, green accommodation is nestled), I had an experience that scared the life out of me but at the same time reminded me of the sense of humour of The God that we serve.

I had savoured the whole experience of Knysna and although I am not really a breakfast person, and had eaten the seven-course gourment dinner the previous evening, I thought to eat breakfast on that last morning at Phantom. Food is served at Phantom Forest at the thatched Boma Hut. But I wanted to eat in the open area outside of the Boma Hut so that I could really take pleasure in the forest that morning. I wanted to hear the symphony of birdsong and see the fish eagle.

The waitress obliged and set up my breakfast table on the terrace of the Hut.

I drank fresh fruit juice, ate fresh home-made muesli mixed with natural bio yoghurt, and was just about to take a bite of my wholemeal, freshly baked muffin with a sip of fresh ground coffee when, as I looked up to put the coffee cup to my mouth, I saw a cream coloured monkey sat on the table top close by next to me. Bewildered, I sat up, looked around me to plan an immediate and quick escape, and then saw two other monkeys nearby. I yelled an almighty ‘help!” All the animal and wildlife in that forest must have thought it was Judgement Day.

As I ran back towards the Boma hut, a kind, kind, kind hotel guest came running out of the Hut to meet me, as did the waitress and another waiter. The hotel guest ran to me, hugged me, led me into the Boma Hut and reassured me that the animals are harmless. They don’t attack humans she reassured me and said all the cheeky monkeys wanted was my breakfast. A countless visitor to the Phantom Forest, she loved to come back again and again to enjoy the reserve and its unforgettable hospitality.

Vervet monkeys, I am told. They love to steal food. They are also apparently frightened predominantly by men, as I a sat alone, a female in their forest eating a gourmet breakfast, I really would not stand a chance of not sharing my breakfast. Then I remembered the notices around the Tree Suites asking residents not to leave food in the balcony area so as not to tempt the monkeys to descend down. I get it...

As we looked outside from the Boma Hut we saw one of the monkeys with my white muesli and yoghurt bowl in his hand, scooping out its content with his other hand. We saw another one moneky with my muffins! They were telling me, 'Thank you!"

My Beaded Angel
As I sat down and recuperated inside the Boma Hut to continue my breakfast, I engaged the other hotel guest in the restaurant in conversation. Retired but still looking strong, healthy and fit, she said she is a constant in-country traveller and writer. She shared her travel experiences with me and as she departed the restaurent to check-out to her next travel destination, the Eastern Cape, she handed me a gift of a beaded angel: “Now, you had quite a scare this morning,’’ she said. “Here is a little gift for you to remind you of your experience this morning and to know that angels are with you wherever you go.” I have carried that beaded angel with me everywhere I have gone since that day.

Reflections
As I reflected on what had happened that morning as we drove the six hour journey back to Cape Town, I marvelled at the divine lesson in it all. There I was, I had spent a memorable few days at this wonderful eco reserve and although I had heard the birdsong throughout, I hadn't however seen any of the animals. Not that I minded, mind you, for I am not really an animal lover. Sound strange? Well, the pull of the Phantom Forest to me as a search through the coffee-table book ‘South Africa Chic: hotel, lodges and spas’ a few months back was so strong that I did not care that I would be sharing my luxury environment with animals. I knew I would have a wonderful experience nonetheless.

To my mind this finale at Phantom was God reassuring me – reassuring me that in life you need to savour all of your experiences – the good, the bad and the ugly – for these are all learning milestones. I was also reassured that when experiencing the bad and the ugly, the same angels that engineered the good in your life with God would protect you from, or see you through, the ugly experiences.

Viva Phantom Forest!

Balance

2011-01-30T19:36:00.004Z

Berated by friends world over for the general strike on my blog postings, it’s time to apologise for the absence of postings in 2010 and get back to work. It time to say welcome to 2011, and to say welcome to balance. Balance, the inspiration that stimulates me to write. For when I reflect on the year 2010 I remember relocation, and the concomitant busy-ness and exhilaration that comes together with it. Plenty of fun, plenty of activity but I am not certain that there was enough balance close at hand.

But I thank God that I am finding that balance that I so need to awaken my inspirations once again. Before I turned 40 last autumn, I could not even spell the word balance. We are often told that 40 represents a significant milestone, and as I approached my own significant milestone I began my stock take. Good God, what an exercise in self- abuse and maltreatment.

Like most people who ventured into such reflection, I couldn’t find enough evidence of significant accomplishment. Or rather I chose not to see the evidence of my many triumphs over the past four decades. So whilst I should have been thanking God, my parents, my siblings and dear friends world over for their tremendous love and kindness shared over the years, I rather selfishly looked inwards - and as I did that I found that there was much more that I had hoped to accomplish, could have accomplished and much more that I needed to crack on to accomplish in the coming years. But it was that focus on the imbalance that kept me off-balance, and threatened to keep me fearful.

It was during that season that I was invited to be a panellist at a women’s conference. I thanked the organisers for inviting and told them how I would have loved to be a part of the forum, but for my imbalance. I explained away my excuses by saying that only a whole person could give back and at the juncture that I found myself, I didn’t feel whole and therefore could not convey the inspiration that participants to the conference would surely be expecting from me. The conference organisers promptly found other more willing panellists.

A Sense of Urgency
But the God Who is able to keep us from falling ensured that I knew balance once again. 40 to me brought a sense of urgency; an urgency to do those things that you’ve always wanted to do, to be that person you’ve always wanted to become, to appreciate those relationships with friends and family, and an urgency to be less rigid and less judgemental in my approach and take on issues of life.

The day itself was spent in the company of very dear friends in appreciation of their love and kindness over the years, and the celebration of a few days after that was an intimate dinner party by the poolside with a dozen carefully chosen friends in Ghana and Nigeria. It was love and gratitude in motion. A day after the celebration I flew out to Dubai en route to South Africa. No, no shopping trip for me. I wanted to spend time with an old friend who I had not seen for at too many years and whose husband and children I had not yet met. It was to be a moment of cherishing and appreciating a childhood friendship. And what a time it was.

Then came South Africa. I arrived in Joburg and although my host offered to pick me up at the airport I declined on the offer because I wanted to take the Guatrain. How I revelled at the Gautrain! Africa is coming of age. Within a few minutes I was in Sandton. My dearest friend and life coach Thandie met me at the train station and within an hour of my arrival her friends had arrived at her home with flowers and champagne to welcome me. A few hours after that we were at dinner. Six 30 and 40 somethings sharing experiences, thanking God for our journey thus far and inspiring one another for the next milestone. If ever I had forgotten that I was blessed, I remembered again there and then.

The Wonderful Western Cape

A few days after that we flew to Cape Town. I had travelled to South Africa countless times but I had never experienced South Africa until this trip. I wanted to see Table Mountain, to experience the wine farms of the Western Cape, enjoy the extravagance of a luxury eco-reserve hotel, see the Cape of Good Hope and enjoy the best of Western Cape’s seafood and wine. Church and fellowship South Africa style was also part of the equation.

If ever God spoke to me loud and clear during 2010 it was during those days (and that long drive from Cape Town to Knysna and back to Cape Town) spent in South Africa. What did He say? Many things. But the long and short of it was to reassure me of His love and care, and to remind me that all those hard and fast rules religious rules I had harboured and imposed on myself, were nothing to do with Him.

I like the way Eugene Peterson put it in his introduction to the book of Hebrews in The Message translation of the Holy Scriptures. Mr Peterson says this: ‘it seems odd to have to say so, but too much religion is a bad thing. We can’t get too much of God, can’t get too much faith and obedience can’t get too much love and worship. But religion – the well intentioned efforts we make to ‘get it all together’ for God – can very well get in the way of what God is doing for us..... we become fussily religious, or anxiously religious. We get in the way’. Back to my balance then.

Balance. Finding your equilibrium. Consistently nurturing your inspirations. Consistently improving your character. Responding to your equilibrium. Meditation. Prayer. Sharing. Avoiding the temptations of busy-ness to ‘get it all together’ whilst ignoring those experiences and relationships that really matter.

And This One Thing I Do

2009-10-08T09:52:00.002Z

The V Monologues
When the V Monologues premiered in London a couple of years ago I shuddered every time my eyes or ears caught a review. I was, quite simply, appalled that yet again in liberal London we were evidencing the negative externalities of democracy and an open society – that notion that all things are permissible, although not all things are beneficial.

Deeply sanctimonious and intolerant of the blatant public coverage of all things intimate and personal, I wondered once again what the world in the first world had come to.

But I hadn’t bothered to find out what the drama production was about, mind. I hadn’t made the effort to actually read through a review, and neither had I taken the time to listen to the opinions and discourse on the television and radio about the V monologues. In fact I couldn’t bring myself to do any of these for I was deeply offended by very title of the Monologues drama.

Why so? Well, I thought my Christian faith would not, could not, allow me to appreciate such dramatic entertainment. God bless my soul.

The Tarzan Monologues
Decades later, a little more mature and more appreciative of the diversity of the creation of The Creator (in thought, skill, persuasion and creativity) around me, I have learnt to be less judgmental and more receptive and respectful (even if not consenting) of the thoughts of others.

It’s the notion, once again, of deciphering motive and intent, reading and interpreting experience and exposure in the content of people’s speech, actions, thoughts and creations – whether that is literary creation, musical creation, or dramatic art and performance. And some of these motives are quite innocuous.

So The Tarzan Monologues premiered at Terra Kulture on Sunday afternoon and guess who was on the front row seat to witness this world premiere? Having denied myself of the pleasure or anger of watching the V Monologues a decade or so ago, I was determined to see this one through.

And what utter pleasure! Big ups, Wole Oguntokun.

The Insightful Monologues
The monologues chronicled the thoughts, insights, fears and joys of men. From The First Time to The Purse Strings. From 6 Myths About Marriage to Defilement. From Open Letter to my Father to Powerful, Sexy and Grey.

And these monologues were insightful! Imagine the learning and knowledge opportunity of having seven or eight men of various years of age sharing lessons and experience of their own respective life time? Forget all those self-help books on knowing yourself and knowing your garden. Go see and hear the monologues and you may just finally get that bingo moment on understanding your brother, your nephew, male boss, male domestic worker and so on.

I left the theatre feeling sorry for having denied myself of the opportunity to have learnt @ play years before through the V Monologues. And I further queried why I had denied myself the opportunity in the name of Christianity.

My Light Bulb Moment at the Theatre
Fact remains that there is much in the Tarzan Monologues for our pastors, counselors, deacons and church leaders, and everyone else for that matter, to learn from.

We’ve become so accustomed to focusing on separating ourselves from the ‘world’ and working our way up to heaven – my senior pastor once put it this way: being so heavenly minded that you are of no earthly use. But to consistently and deliberately remove yourself from the ‘world’ as many do in Christendom when many a time the world needs your perspective and yet also has lessons and knowledge in it for you is to my mind an act of counterevidence. Even Christ Jesus Himself came down to planet Earth to demonstrate how to live.

But I like the way St Paul puts it in the first book to the people of Corinth in 1 Corinthians chapter nine:

19-23Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized—whoever. I didn't take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ—but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I've become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn't just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!

To my mind you cannot go out into the world and be a breath of fresh air, you cannot provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God if you have not bothered to understand and appreciate their mind, their issues, their thoughts - in effect, what is driving them.

That is the art of relationship, the art of counseling, the art of relating, the art of exchanging, the art of evangelism and the militant zeal for a cause.

On the Eve of Jubilee

2009-09-28T14:45:00.002Z

My Nigeria is a Nigeria where we place priority on adherence to the rule of law and a culture of proactive service delivery. A Nigeria where we discharge participatory governance; a Nigeria where we practice transparency; and a Nigeria where we ensconce accountability.

My Nigeria is a Nigeria exemplified by physical, artistic and cultural attractions with international appeal; a clean environment of aesthetic beauty and serenity; and affordable, accessible and quality goods and services. A Nigeria where there is security of life and of property. A Nigeria where I can go to sleep at night without the racket of my and my neighbour’s power generator bawling in the background.

Where is this Nigeria? It is a Nigeria in the mind of my future.

It is a Nigeria where our children and our grandchildren will be able to say of us: “the elders did well.”

Our Traditional Societies
In traditional societies, the elders are those to whom everyone drew to in search of wisdom, knowledge and guidance. My Nigeria is not devoid of such elders. My Nigeria merely needs the right form of governance and public administration, in character and content, willing to wage a true and fitting warfare against the ills of poverty, underdevelopment of mind and infrastructure; and social and economic demise.

The Future of Government?
What is the Future of Government globally and, as we bring it home, the Future of Government in sub-Saharan Africa? The Future of Government in Nigeria?

What can we do to redress our regress? What should we do to redress our regress? What will we choose to do to redress our regress?

It was only a few months ago that Barack Obama stood on the podium in Capitol Hill and gave his inaugural speech. The Future of Government to his mind involves a nation and government of risk takers – the doers and the makers of things:

“We remain a young nation, but in the words of scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness. In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less…. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do”

All this we will do. That’s affirmation for you.

New Public Management
Perhaps what we should actually be asking is this: what can be the future of Government in Nigeria? Without doubt the future of Government in Nigeria must include the core values embraced in the ethos of new public management.

Recent developments in public sector management and reform from around the world shout out to us that contemporary governments will only attain credibility, development and expansion results if they readily embrace and demonstrate the following key features:

(i) Public Engagement;
(ii) Customer-focussed public service delivery;
(iii) A serious and compelling movement and drive from policy formulation to policy delivery;
(iv) Management for service effectiveness and results; and
(v) Joined up government

If that is what contemporary governments are currently doing, then the future of our government and public administration must be in substantively embracing and demonstrating all five of these features. It remains the burden and responsibility of our times. That burden and responsibility of the work that must be done demands that the government of the future must:

(i) Ensure that public services are fit for purpose;
(ii) Deliver services, quality services, that stakeholders actually want;
(iii) Meet the basic needs of society consistently and sensitively (here we have the notion of inclusive governance, the rights based approach to governance);
(iv) Transform the experience and contact of stakeholders with the public sector; and
(v) Ensure stakeholder satisfaction

Bringing It Home - My Nigeria
My Nigeria stands tall as a country filled to the brim with bright, intelligent and hopeful people. As a nation we are very proud and as a nation we are so very confident. Our resilience and ‘can do’ attitude is quite simply as astounding and it is even unbelievable. It is no wonder that the first black African Forbes billionaire is a Nigerian.

But our overall metrics on government and public administration have been the antithesis of this our enviable national character, and fraught with immense challenges.

It remains the responsibility of each and everyone of us, corporations, electorates, civil society, NGOs, the young and the old alike, to ensure that The Future of Government demonstrates and exhibits the positive externalities of this our national character - in our macro-economy, our public and civil service, and in our parastatal institutions of social development. Yes, we can.

Lessons from the World Economic Forum
Six metrics have recently been put forward by one of the councils of the World Economic Forum as the key determinants and propositions for the transformation of democracy and the transformation of government for the future:

(i) A digital Marshall Plan to take broadband to every corner of the world
(ii) The establishment of ‘digital brainstorms’ (I like that phrase) whereby knowledge partnerships between public/private/civil society are established and entrenched as deliberate, established mechanisms to ensure and secure citizenship and citizen engagement (a celebration of that most famous phrase: E pluribus, Unum – out of many, one)
(iii) A new accountability paradigm for business
(iv) Reinventing public service to achieve a networked government
(v) Rethinking and re-architecture of human capital of the public service
(vi) Creating the infrastructure for accountable government

If we accept these metrics, what they reveal and challenge us to do is to make the business of government relevant and valuable to the citizenry and each and every stakeholder; for indeed government is funded by the citizenry, mandated by the citizenry and instituted to realise dividends for the citizenry in terms of social and economic development; safety and security; and the freedom to enjoy life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It is the basic idea of government being a service to the people and for the people. It is no coincidence that government and public sector workers are known as civil and public servants.

Our failure to respond to this cry proffers grave danger that our governments and public sectors will be left even further behind as futuristic and responsive governments emerge and address each of these challenges highlighted here. The end result is a possible deep democratic, economic and social demise.

Nairobi, Kenya. December 2007
Far fetched? I certainly hope so, but I was in Nairobi, Kenya in December 2007. I marvelled at the apparent ease of democracy in this city one week before the Presidential and parliamentary elections. I was resident in Ghana at that time and had travelled to Kenya on business. I and my travelling companion hoped that Ghana would make Africa proud in exactly a year’s time when her people would go to the polls to give voice to their political opinion and preferences. Indeed, one year on, Ghanaians have proven that the Voice of The Citizen and democratic integrity lies at the heart of her public administration. But that is Ghana – my week long stay in Nairobi in December 2007 was the week that preceded the massacre of neighbour by neighbour.

Back home some weeks later, unbelievably I watched the ensuing events in Kenya from my TV screen. The message was loud and clear: there comes a time when, if the dividends of good governance and democracy are not evident in our societies, some will take to the streets. Rev Martin Luther King Jnr did so. Emily Pankhurst and the Suffragettes somewhat did so. And Zackie Ahmat of the TAC in South Africa is doing so. Our hope is that many other will join in their methods and advocate for democratic and inclusive politics, and responsive government via peaceful means.

THE Leadership Challenge - The Voice of the Citizen
But this leadership is our collective responsibility. No one person is born a leader. Leaders are created out of the choices they make and the challenges they chose to confront. Our government (and corporate and social leaders alike) will rise and emerge from the responses and reactions we the people persistently challenge and present them with in question and query.

The Voice of the Citizen and the stakeholder must be loud and clear in the Future of Government – indeed the Voice of the Citizen should shape the future of government. Accountability and responsiveness in the development of public policy; inclusiveness and integrity in the implementation of public policy; accountability and transparency in the evaluation of public sector programmes and projects.

These are the rules of engagement; and this is our hope. These are the notions alluded to in Rousseau’s Social Contract – and these are the notions which caution us against inviting the absolute authority of a sovereign as chronicled in Hobbes’s The Leviathan.

And it is here that there is room for all of us.
A consulting firm can demonstrate leadership in the articulation of a blueprint for the future of a government in terms of the transformation of the systems, process and people; inputs and outputs of MDAs; and similarly a law firm can demonstrate leadership in the articulation and collaboration with Government on those business laws that must be reviewed, amended and enacted to ensure that the legal environment drives the future that our economy and citizens need and want.

Likewise a civil society organisation can demonstrate leadership through the gathering of citizens and stakeholders alike for us all to discuss and debate where we are, where we want to be as a nation and chart the path of how to get there for and with our political leaders.

That is democracy.
That is citizenship, and
That is development.

There is room for all of us.

On the fringes of the anniversary of our nation’s fiftieth year after our independence from colonial rule, the optimism which drove a euphoric vision of an economically prosperous and politically stable future for our nation is now somewhat precarious. Our trajectory to date has been devoid of many of the core elements of economic prosperity and political stability. Today we are at the crossroads.

And yes, there is room for all of us. That we might truly have a reason to celebrate our Golden Jubilee in 2010

The Art of Dancing to the Rhythm of Life

2009-09-16T16:43:00.004Z

And so it would appear that there is an art of living. An art to dancing to the rhythm of life.

For Michael Franks there’s meaning in the Art of Tea.
And some I know profess to the Art of Coffeeing
Others yet to the Art of Love

But today I want to rant about the Art of War…! Macciavelli? Sun Tzu.? Well, I never felt the urge nor the need to invest in either The Prince or The Art of War. These most celebrated books of strategy...

Alas, “dit moi,” I thought, “is there really need to study the details of making your enemy’s enemy your best friend?” Better not to have enemies at all, I thought. Better still to subscribe to the notion of Christ Jesus to love your enemies. So if you love your enemy, you also love your enemy’s enemy. So we are equals. And isn’t that what Macciavelli and Sun Tzu are saying? Confused? Well, it makes two of us.

Aha, but the same Christ Jesus preaches on the necessity of loving oneself first and foremost – love your neighbor as yourself – and that in of itself being the enabler to allow you to respond to others in understanding. And it was this notion – loving and knowing thyself first, studying people, studying life - that led me to purchase The Art of War for Executives.

The day I realized that I needed to invest in that book was the day that I matured…

Appreciating the politics at play in your sphere of influence @work and @ play
For the art of loving oneself requires a level of understanding and an appreciation of the world around you. Yes, with all the gamesmanship, one-upmanship and all.

One of my mentors reminds me day in day out of the need to seek to understand the politics in the world around me even if I don’t want to play it – for therein I gain insight to the motives which give rise to the utterances and actions which come forth day in and day out.

For we war at play even as we war at work. We war in the boardroom and we war in the bedroom. Indeed there are ecclesiastical battles and wars in the heavenly realms. Hmmm. I am grateful for the promise we have in Him, Christ Jesus, that we have the victory over those battles.

But Sun Tzu’s lesson to me is this: In any situation, seek to respond and not react. Same difference? Never!

Respond to and act on the motive which led to the action. And that might mean a positive or a negative response, but usually it is a positive response. Why so? Because in responding one has paused to be aware of and identify with the motive behind the negative or positive action. It’s the art of calculating victory. Hmm, oh yes - the art of calculating victory.

Never react to the action or utterance – respond to it. And that takes work. Rise to the challenge!

Take this from Chapter 3:

So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a thousand battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself

Whetted your appetite? Go get the books.

And we went to a book reading...

2009-09-15T14:55:00.002Z

The first book reading I went to was such a heart-warming experience that I glowed. I grinned ear to ear and was incredibly proud. Nothing could contain my elation.

That was the book reading of Kemi’s Journal by Miss Abidemi Sanusi – one of my many, many sisters. But Bidemi is also one of my favorite sisters because she is just so cheeky! Nobody in the world dares to persistently tease and cajole me as she does – and with such zeal.

That was in Accra some three-odd years ago and so wonderful was the experience that I have since attended a number of book readings. The most recent was that of Sefi Atta at the British Council here in Lagos, where she read from Swallow, her latest book.

Book reading a la Lagos
So I am in Abuja some weeks back and a dear, dear friend calls from Lagos to say that they are organizing a book reading for one of our most celebrated contemporary writers at the weekend. ‘Wonderful’ was my response. Absolutely perfect, in fact. I was planning to be in Lagos that weekend anyway, so why not?

Twenty four hours to the event I inquire where the event is holding - British Council? Terra Kulture? And what time. The event was to hold in a private residence, and would be in the evening. Hmm, very unusual, I thought. But I kind of liked the idea of a private, more intimate book reading in someone’s garden. This is Nigeria, what am I saying, this is Lagos, after all.

So we arrive. 8pm. Valet parking service, hor d’oeuvres, champagne and we hear the book reading. No juice, no water, no wine, just champagne. Quintessentially Lagos.

I marveled. But I understood. And I smiled. A knowing smile.

In a city where day in, day out you give a lot. In a city where day in, day out you are at your wits end. In a city where day in, day out your patience is tried and tested. In a city where day in, day out your average daily spend is your average weekly spend in any European city. In a city where …..

So I understood the need to spruce up the daily grind. To indulge a little, and to live a little. To forget that you had to leave the premises before a certain hour of the night less armed robbers are at your trail. To forget that the daily bumpy and traffic ridden ride on our roads makes your bone creak and your neck stiff. To forget…

A few days later a couple of us teased our host over lunch and hailed the light indulgence, the departure from the norm of the café style format of books readings ‘It’s good to unwind every so often’ was the quite, deliberate response.

And, yes, I said, ‘it is good’

The Return

2009-09-02T17:20:00.000Z

Okay, Okay, Okaaaay!

I know it’s been like forever since I last blogged. So many people have BB’ed, sent sms and called to chastise. Well, you know, every once in a while one needs to take time out, right? Well, this has been my time-out. Forgive.

OK. Sorry. Abeg, as we would say in Nigeria. It’s been an eventful couple of months. If for nothing else a reminder that life is a marathon and not a 100 meters sprint. After the zeal of starting new projects and initiatives early on in the year, some time or the other one needs to take stock and slooooow down – if only for a short while.

So I am back on line!

My nephew brought me this book from the UK – The Personal Shopper. I thought nothing of it when he gave it to me – said it came with the shoes I had asked him to purchase. OK. Then I read the back of the book to get a gist of what it was all about. It reads like this:

Meet Annie Valentine: stylish, savvy, multi-tasker extraordinaire. As a personal shopper in a swanky London fashion emporium, Annie can re-style and re-invent her clients from head to toe. In fact, this super-skilled dresser can be relied on to solve everyone's problems...except her own. Although she's busy being a single mum to stroppy teen Lana and painfully shy Owen, there's a gap in Annie's wardrobe, sorry, life, for a new man. But finding the perfect partner is turning out to be so much trickier than finding the perfect pair of shoes. Can she source a genuine classic? A life long investment? Will she end up with someone from the sale rail, who'll have to be returned? Or maybe, just maybe, there'll be someone new in this season who could be the one...

Cheeky so and so.

Never read a book so quickly before. It really made me laugh. But there is this notion in the book, and at large really, that people who are well-off have miserable lives/are boring people, and those who do not have so much money are a lot happier. The ‘money doesn’t make you happy’ notion.

Well you know, I want to refute that. I am sure we all know a bus load of people who have bus loads of money and live lives just as fulfilling or unfulfilling as those that don’t. I rather go for the notion that it’s your relationship with money that might determine your level of fulfillment.

I don’t know if Jesus had cash-in-hand when He was on planet Earth but He sure had access to wealth and He was definitely happy and fulfilled. I guess because His wealth was not His focus but His faith and hope in God was. I think what I am saying is that the pursuit of happiness through the primary and relentless pursuit of money may lead us to a Judas experience. The end result being the loss of being.

Anyway, enough deep thought for today.

Ciao everyone!

Canoe

2009-05-30T19:09:00.000Z

Every so often life throws something so surprisingly comforting and so delightfully glorious your way. And it is normally in simple pleasures.

I have found one such comfort in my quarterly readings of Canoe magazine. Published by Ghanaians, with an increasing number of West African contributors and writers, Canoe is a celebration of all that is relevant, apt and timely in Africa. A spectacle of how far we have come, and a trailer of what our tomorrows may be. Afro-centric to the core, afropolitian in content, resurgent Africa in attitude and afrochic in style, Canoe makes me so unreservedly proud to be African.

Whilst the majority of our governments and leaders have spectacularly frustrated and disappointed us, what a publication such as Canoe inspires in me is that in rising above the challenges we face day in day out in the underdevelopment of our nation, social and economic infrastructures, we choose to experience that abundant life our Lord and Saviour Christ Jesus promised.

And this is our hope: that Africans can discover, exhibit and manifest the fullness of the creativity and intellect surrounding their God-given skills, abilities and talents in their generation.

On the eve of my nation’s golden jubilee celebrations I remain astonished at our limited progress. That I have not posted a note on the blog for over a month is testament to the daily and constant challenges one faces in day to day living in ‘this our great nation’. Few hours of electricity a day, five hours in traffic a day, over-priced goods and services (for most goods in Nigeria are over-priced not expensive – diamonds are expensive), reduced productivity, and the list goes on. But yet, we do and yet we do go on. We do go on demonstrating resilience, exhibiting hope and demonstrating ambition. This is what makes Africa so great – the attitude of her people.

Canoe’s creative director, Kweku Ansah, put it this way in the February 09 edition, naming that attitude ‘The Obamian Complex’:

An inspirited state of existence that propels a person to optimize their potential and utlise their opportunities in pursuit of higher goals, based mainly on merit and braced with courteous audacity, but free from stereotypical expectations and other self restraining inhibitions.

Welcome, the African Renaissance.

So, The Art of Living subscribers, I may not have been blogging, but I have been reading – marveling at all that is afrochic, afropolitican, afrocentric and Obamian around me; and praying that I will be partaker of the brilliance and splendor of Africa. Won’t you sign on?

Sixty Second Interview

2009-04-27T00:24:00.004Z

I’m in Brighton this week. And, what, with 24hr electricity, TV and enough cafés and restaurants with a view of the seafront, I’ve had time to relax my mind.

Well, since some have said that my blog is a bit on the heavy side, and because I’ve been reading proper, I mean, proper newspapers and broadsheets all week, I once again came across the Sixty Second Interview and so I thought I’d try one on Ms TheArtofLivingRuka:

What do you know for sure? That God is.

Favorite book: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. Nobody should live and die without reading that book.

On a desert island who or what would you want with you: The Holy Spirit and my BlackBerry

Where and when you recently knew complete happiness: Lagos, November 2008 – an old friend, now based in Dubai and who I had not seen for a decade, visited. We had lunch with two other mutual friends at Piccolo Mondo – hugging, crying, chatting, laughing, and reminiscing. It was delightful. Those were three hours of my life that I would repeat over and over and over again.

Favorite place: Honestly? I’d have to say Dar es Salaam and Zanzibar, both in Tanzania. Dar is for me the location of bliss, delight and pure comfort. The seafront eating places, the quaint buildings in town, the easy going generally quiet pace, and of course my ‘family’ in Dar (friends from University days). And Zanzibar? My goodness. What words? Un-spoilt, beautiful and traditional almost to a fault, and yes, very quaint.

The peculiarity you most dislike in yourself? Gosh, so many! The most? What about being excessively guarded and deliberative?

The trait you most dislike in others? Arrogance and self-importance

What do you most guard? My peace and joy

If wishes were horses, next leisure destination? The Mount Nelson, Cape Town, South Africa – preferably during the next Cape Town Jazz festival

Favorite restaurant: Sky Bar and Restaurant, Lagos; La Taverna Tropicana, Accra on a Friday or Saturday night; La Chaumiere, Accra; and the New Federal Palace Hotel, on the terrace, on a lazy Sunday afternoon

What gets up your skin? Social injustice

What draws you to a person? Sincerity, warmth, kindness, honesty and intellectual depth.

Motto: fight the good fight of faith

Who would you pay to spend an hour with: but you know I spend every second of every hour with my Father, right? So long as that's understood! Besides Him, at this moment, only Jimmy Dludlu comes to mind. He doing his stuff on the guitar, me listening and thanking God for the moment. But then of course there’s Bishop Desmond Tutu, Oprah Winfrey, Bishop T D Jakes……

What is your latest trivial worry: I am exercising harder than I've ever done (well, to my mind I am) and yet it takes like forever to lose one kilo...

The Legal Dissolution of a Marriage

2009-04-17T16:35:00.004Z

Maybe it’s something to do with me being on the eve of my fortieth year but everywhere I look and everywhere I turn too many friends and loved ones of the same age world over are on the edge. Marriage-edge. Joyless and troubling unions leaning onto separation and divorce.

Disquieting. Really disquieting.

What is more disturbing is the emotional trauma that is attendant with this edge: for some are literally battling with the decision to separate and divorce even in the midst of their Christian faith and desire to honour The Word that says “God hates divorce”.

Divorce and Our Easter Reflection
Over Easter I discussed this same issue with a dear, dear, dear sister. Divorced herself, she takes that stand that what God hates is the process of divorce. The physical, emotional, psychological and of course spiritual angst that precedes divorce – and for some that may mean decades.

My sister and I could not fathom the thought that Love Himself would want His child to remain in an emotionally or physically tormenting marriage union. Surely this could not be one’s appointed end? This pain-filled, soul wrenching union? Joy sapped day in day out; hope and dreams suspended year in, year out? Surely His intentions for us and good and not evil? Surely He does not want us to suffer unrest day in, day out in a so-called marriage union where spouses are not even on speaking terms, let alone sharing the same bedroom and yet, they are supposedly bringing up children together ‘in the way of The Lord’? Surely that is a sure, sure guarantee of producing generations of dysfunctional adults and marriages?

Jaws, the divorce lawyer
It was just the other day that I heard a renowned divorce lawyer (aka Jaws) interviewed on the BBC World Service. A hitherto pre-global financial crisis young NY city resident with a well-paid professional job and an affluent, materialistic lifestyle had gone to court to re-negotiate the terms of his divorce. The terms and conditions of his income had taken a deep slide and he needed the terms of his divorce settlement with his wife to reflect this new, declined income.

What was Jaws’ take on this? The next couple of years are going to see more pre-nups and post-nups. We are going to be seeing ‘marriage’ in a very different format. ‘To have and to hold; for richer, for poorer’ has gone out of the window. Selah. His take was that over the years he had seen clients who married for a whole lot of reasons outside of affection and companionship. Money counted for one of these reasons, as did status. But many, he said, just simply got it wrong when it came to choosing a life partner.

And the Christian Church?
Where does that leave us in The Christian Church? What should we be doing to support our members, our body, crying out for help before and after marriage?

I certainly don’t have the answers but what I do know is that we must do better than we are doing here and now. How so?

Well, there’s the one of Priest X or Pastor Y, suggesting that a spouse should just learn to accept that their other half will have mistresses, for that is just the way things are. Yes, and I should risk AIDS and all other STDs?

And the one of Priest X or Pastor Y retorting that society would render one an outcast one divorced – for divorced women are simply irresponsible. Note, no mention of the God-factor in all of this, just the issues of what society will think? Yes, so I should rest in this fallow land of a life-sapping union all the same till death do us part?

And the one where Priest X and Pastor Y reminds us that The Bible records that is better to marry than to burn with passion and sin. As such better marry and legitimately fan the flames of your passions, less you sin. Yes. We’ll see you in post-marital counseling in six months time when flames momentarily fanned you realize that, well, you and this spouse ain’t got not one thing in common.

Accepting that these are quite sensitive issues to discuss let alone resolve, it’s been so excruciatingly distressing witnessing the pain of loved ones who have gone through or are going through this whole process. Believe me, I have sobbed one too many times with and for friends over the past few years on this very matter.

Personally, I am more inclined to resolve that what my God and Father hates is the process of divorce –the season pain and sorrow that His children go through before and after the act divorce – and not necessarily the act of divorce itself. No, not the legal and radical severance of closely related people, though that in itself may be tortuous.

I may be wrong, but as for today, that is my personal conviction.

Preez's Kite Runner

2009-03-23T11:21:00.003Z

And at 12.50am, as I read the last sentence in the pages that opened before me, I wept. I had just finished reading The Kite Runner.

I wept for those I had known and those I would never know who had suffered at the hand of injustice. The injustice that prowls like a lion seeking who it might overwhelm and or overcome in every life, every family, every city, every town, and every nation. I wept for the very apparent lack of simple humanity in the hearts and mind of many who wage deceit and war in the name of God and or ‘Me-ism’.

What had happened to our world? What had happened, I pondered again? What had happened to me?

Cancer
Raw on the emotions side, I was distressed and disturbed. A few days before I had heard news that a dear friend, with who I had looked forward to sharing decades with in friendship, had passed. Cancer.

There’s a word for you. Malignancy, growth, tumor, malignant cells. All words used to explain the evil. I wept for my friend. Wept for the solitude with which she had come and gone; and I thanked The Lord nevertheless that she was at last in a place where there is no more sorrow. I thanked God that she had died in Him.

In my numbness at the weekend I picked up The Kite Runner. An acclaimed piece of writing. I had bought a copy of the book over a year or two ago but was yet to read it. Once I read the first paragraph, I found it difficult to put the book down.

The Kite Runner
I deliberated at the apparent ease at which life could sometimes deal you a deep blow; a deep injustice.

As I read through The Kite Runner, I guessed that I may just as well have been reading about a family in Sierra Leone, Liberia, Zimbabwe or Angola. For although the setting of the pages that lay in my hands was Afghanistan, I knew that a similar injustice, a similar cancer, had permeated through individual lives, families, towns and nations all around the world.

The injustice in the decisions made by national and international leaders to claim and or reclaim a nation; to attain and or remain in power illegitimately; to overthrow a legitimate government; to deny a people asylum in a safe country because their ‘papers’ are not intact even though the very apparent reason someone might want to receive asylum was precisely because their very perpetrators were those in authority and who they could never approach for legitimate papers.

I thought of families broken and separated. I thought of family generations thereafter suffering deep mental and emotional trauma as a result of the very negative and very deep externality of physical war and conflict on a parent. The broken relationship that such a parent might then have with their spouse and or their children – for which man or woman would not be broken having suffered rape, having suffered the violent and sudden loss of all the things that gave you surety and comfort, having witnessed the murder of members of your family, and having lost hope in amidst of all of the above?

Visiting cancers of the fathers to the third and fourth generation
The children who then grow up not knowing the love of a parent, nor the comfort of a ‘normal’ family home where mother or father is not suffering from schizophrenia or any other mental or emotional illness which means he/she cannot hold down a wage and thus a living. Children then traumatized by the world around them as a result. Looking to comfort and acceptance in the awkward places of the bottle, the brothel; pot or needle.

The broken children that they themselves might then bring up within and without marriage....

A friend who is a psychiatrist once told me, having just returned home from a prison visit where he was assessing mental health of inmates, the world might be a better place if all those who had serious mental illnesses were denied the right to reproduce.

And all the human rights lawyers cried out: ‘foul play.’

Foul Play
Foul play it is. But foul play it also is when such offsprings, perhaps following years and years of counseling which has given them some respite, then seek to make a better life for themselves in a second country and all they get in response from the officials at the other side is a firm: ‘I am sorry.”

Worse still, they get thrown in a detention center. Worst still they are fortunate enough get out of the detention centre and secure employment as a menial labourer and all the people of that nation cry that foreigners are taking our jobs. We don't want foreigners.

Cancer confronts the abused and confused immigrant yet again. Better to, I say, for those who don't want foreigners to confront their political leaders and demand that their foreign policies and international relations promote peace, not war. Peace has many synonyms: justice, responsiveness, transparency, accountability, democracy.

Yes I cried for the injustice all around us. The cancer all around us and the cancer that had taken away my friend. The cancer all around us that, if not detected early can spread to other vital organs of the body – particularly the mind and soul, rendering the body to succumb to a life lived in iniquity, misdemeanor and malignancy, for indeed sometimes the cancer we fight, the war we wage is not in battles fought with all forms of missiles, bullets, shells and AK47s.

Deliverance and thanksgiving
And I pondered yet more. I had a deep need to appreciate God for all the misfortune He had ensured that I escaped. For all the misfortune He had protected me from; and for all the misfortune He will pull me from. I thanked Him that in every situation I have always known peace and hope in Him, and yes: I always knew mercy.

I was reminded that there could always be a meeting place, a respite and a rest even in amidst cancer of all forms. For me that respite has been Him, Christ Jesus. He was also my late friend Priscilla’s respite.

Many times in the midst of her pain whenever Priscilla called me or I called her on the phone she always, always, always comforted and encouraged me. Forgetting all of herself, all of her pain and all of her needs, she always focused on and enquired about me, my wellbeing and the well-being of my family. She joked once when I had called her that she couldn’t really talk right now and that I should call some hours later - so many people were with her in the hospital room, but she knew that I was driving home from work in the Lagos traffic and she would have loved to have kept my mind off the Lagos traffic in conversation.

Christ Jesus: Priscilla's Kite Runner - He can also keep and numb your mind and pain off the traffic of the world that threatens to envelope you with all sorts of cancer.

Resilience

2009-03-06T15:06:00.008Z

I’ve been particularly upbeat this week, but for no apparent reason – actually perhaps it was because someone I liken to the young Omar Sharif unexpectedly popped into town this week.

I see you smile!

But honestly, it’s been a week full of joy.

My Christian Scriptures had laid unread for a while and I remembered that this ought not to be the case. So I began my read of it, I believe, on Sunday evening. Jonah 2 verses 8-9: they that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy. But I will sacrifice unto thee with the voice of thanksgiving….salvation is of the LORD.

I smiled. Faith leapt up. Hope stirred within, and yes the love of The Almighty God encompassed all around me.

Better not to observe, better not to dwell on, the lying vanities that surround. The lying vanities and false gods that say to you day in, day out that you life is without purpose and fulfillment; that you and your spouse are ill-matched; that your marriage is failed; that your life is a failure because your bank account cannot even smell let alone purchase a Birkin bag and yet your contemporaries and friends carry them like you carry your beloved, what is it now, DKNYs. Your life is a failure because you can only afford a holiday abroad every three years.

Hmm. The list goes on.

I have concluded that I cannot, quite literally, emotionally afford to observe the lying vanities all around me for indeed I would be forsaking the mercies of God to date on each and every area of my life.

Is it the vanity that says that at this time I ought to have had at least 3.2 children? Or the one that screams: if only my income afforded me the extra finances to have liposuction on my thighs, butt, stomach – erm, you name it. Or the vanity that yells, what now, erm, that I should be my own boss by now? If you care to observe them, there are scores of lying vanities that threaten your sanity day in, day out.

But you know what? Forget that, I say. What I have I am grateful for and what I will have and I will become, by the grace of Almighty God, I look forward to with exuberant expectance. Oh yes.

Then this afternoon in doing some work related research on Leadership I stumble upon this wonderful piece:

Learning from Jonah's in the Belly of the Fish Experience
Aha! That’s what Jonah was talking about. Resilience. In these tough times? Better be resilient.

Don’t go off the wagon, I say. Weeping may endure for a night, but but but but but - joy comes in the morning.

In the above piece, Jim Murray puts it like this:

resilience is the capacity to "bounce back” after disappointment, setbacks or even disasters. It is a leadership attribute that is crucial in unpredictable times or in the face of tough circumstances. It is rightfully acknowledged to be a critical component in one’s emotional health.

He goes on to say:

Resilient people can detect the seeds of opportunity and the enormous potential for learning in difficult and trying situations. They can resist being swept up in the anxiety or panic of the moment and are more willing to adapt as creatively as possible to seemingly daunting challenges.

And when this adversity is conscientiously dealt with and subsequently overcome, resilience is strengthened

Aha – I say again. Rejoice.

Car Bumper Stickers - Lagos Style

2009-02-23T09:52:00.002Z

The ones from here are absolutely and definitively out of this world. Full of religious insinuation, but many are mostly religious claptrap. Harsh? Well, try this.

GOD PUNISH THE DEVIL.
All words written in bold capitals, the second word is in bold red.

Now tell me, what is God punishing the devil is got to do with anyone? Indeed, does God punish the devil? I don’t know. Anyone who does, let me know the answer to that question. Please.

Why would anyone put such a sticker on their car bumper anyway? Well, it beats me also but I think I can guestimate. I figure it’s something to do with this. Hmm: our religious belief that the devil is our greatest enemy. So far so good. Then, the further belief that this devil is the cause of most if not all of your woes. Then the further, further belief that this devil has colluded with other human beings to frustrate your life. So, God should punish the devil for imposing on your territory.

So you go round announcing to everyone you meet that God should punish the devil.

Never mind that God is omniscient, omnipotent, kind, gracious, loving. The God asking all those who are weary come to Him so that He can give them rest. His mercy is everlasting, as is His love.

Why not focus on worshiping Him in obedience to His Word? Why not focus on the greatness of the love of this God as opposed to asking Him to punish the devil? Why not?

GOD PASS THEM.
The other bumper sticker that caught my attention.

Okay – I actually think everyone of west African descent would understand this statement. Never mind the grammer.

But, for all others, what the sticker is saying is this: God is omniscient and omnipotent. Amen to that.

And, the bumper goes on in implication, that being the case, God is greater than all those pursuing me for evil. Amen to that also.

Come to think of it, that bumper sticker is actually apt, deep and extra.

Selah.

Quest

2009-02-10T19:57:00.003Z

On his neighbour being irresponsible
For some odd reason over the past few days my thoughts have been towards a statement our driver in Sierra Leone made some years ago. Bless him. I can’t quite recall what started the conversation – it was probably the usual case of the driver cutting into the private conversation of his passengers and giving his own, though unwarranted, insights to whatever topic we were discussing.

On this particular occasion though, I must say I was engaged by what he had to say. His penny’s worth on this occasion was that one of his neighbours was being irresponsible and above all was seriously committing a sin against God. Why so?

He explained that the man was unemployed, had been so for a long while and was actually not actively looking for work. Yet the man had over ten young children and one of his wives had just given birth yet again. How would he look after the new baby, let alone the baby’s siblings?

Well, you many think that was not a profound statement but in a country and indeed a continent where to have children and plenty of them, regardless of your ability (financial, emotional, physical and otherwise) to look after and take care of them, is regarded as a raison etre of existence, it was a profound statement – particularly coming from a barely literate individual.

I stopped in my tracks
Here was a man, probably not much older than me, in his 30s but looking at least twice that age because of the effects of war and abject poverty, demonstrating agility of thought, mind and purpose. He himself had lost his two children at the hands of RUF rebels during the war. Post-conflict, he adopted a little girl orphaned by the war, and, by the grace of God, birthed his own biological daughter some years after. He considered his two children truly the apple of his eye.

There was not a day that would go by that he would not buy something on the road for his children – be it a loaf of bread, sweets or a toy. Those kids were his delight.

On bricks and mortar and the corrugated iron roofing sheets
I pondered the difference between this barely literate driver and his neighbour whose story he had told me. Why was one so apparently different from the other even though their background in economic status and social class were apparently almost exactly the same? I recalled that the driver had told us that he had not really gone to school. He learnt to drive and had worked as a driver all his life. And work hard and consistently he did. Gathered enough money to ‘hire’ a banged up 1970s Mercedes from someone and used that as his private taxi hire, paying a monthly fee to the owner of the car. From his earnings he was building a home and a roof over the head of his family. Three rooms. He had literally built that home with his own hands and the support of a few others. He took one of my colleagues to see the home once. Bricks and mortar with corrugated iron roofing sheets covering the bricks.

But it was a home. Our driver was also paying for the school fees of his children – at a Government assisted school – and was looking forward to their future, despite the precariousness of the nation state that he resided in.

Are all born equal?
Then I wondered how he could be so responsible and his neighbour apparently not. I wondered if all indeed are born equal. I wondered whether really we could say that his neighbour is just plain lazy and irresponsible, or might it just be the case that life had dealt him a blow and he did not know how to recover? I really wondered.

I must say that a constant thought that passes through my mind when I come into contact with people who are so apparently poor and living below the poverty line is to wonder ‘what if that were me?’ In the same breath I thank God that by His grace and mercy I am who and where I find myself – on the other side. I thank God. Really I do, for when you have travelled around and within countries ravaged by poverty, in fact, extreme poverty, you must but thank God that your path is positively different and more pleasurable. Thanksgiving.

So I thought of this neighbour of our driver. I sympathised with his plight. Perhaps he deserved no sympathy – I don’t know. All I could imagine was that life must have thrown him a thousand and one blows and he just could not rise again.

Request for Lipton Tea
Then I thought of someone else I had had the privilege of meeting in 1999. Another driver. A hotel driver. He was driving me to our office in Accra from the hotel I was residing at and began to ask the usual questions of which country I had come from etc. He then of course proceeded to tell me his own story. Poor, helpless, the lot.

He then asked me to purchase a box of Lipton Tea for him on my next trip to Ghana.

When I arrived at our office I relayed the conversation to one of my colleagues. “Don’t mind him," my colleagues said. “For all you know that man refused to go to school as a child and was rebellious. That’s why he finds himself where he is.” I chose not to believe my colleague. For how could anyone choose to be unproductive?

Decisions and choices we make
But several years later I realise that some of us do actually choose to be unproductive – myself being no exception. But I think the difference might be that most of us choose to have few moments of unproductiveness (or indeed may be thrown into unproductiveness by a situation - positive or negative) and many moments of productiveness, for that is the path of progress. Sometimes it is about choice. But also a lot of the time it is about His grace and mercy.

At fellowship the other evening, our leader reminded us that whether 2009 is a year of possibilities for any one of us will depend on the decisions we make or choose to make.

Sobering.

May we all choose paths that will lead to progress and fulfilment during this and coming years, even whilst weathering the storms of the path to the day after tomorrow.

Coelho and Madiba

2009-01-22T10:03:00.003Z

It’s always a good idea to have any one of Paulo Coelho’s book within easy reach. It’s an even better idea to start the year reading one of them.

Quite by chance Paulo Coelho’s writings came up in a conversation I was having with an old friend in Dubai via BlackBerry messenger. Wisdom at last – we had learnt to use the free service of instant messaging from our BlackBerry as opposed to making those unfairly priced voice calls.

We marvelled at how our circle of friendships from two decades or so ago, had quite suddenly remerged and we were literally finding each other again. No, not on Facebook, but via the traditional phone call, the unexpected email, the longing and nostalgia to reconnect – “the universe is working its magic,” my friend told me. Hmm, that sounded like a Coelho phrase. So I asked my friend if she was a fan.

Of course, was the reply. We discussed our favourite book from the Coelho collection and my friend recommended The Fifth Mountain and Eleven Minutes as the next Coelho books to read. So, a dash to the bookshop ensued. Well, it was actually a dash to an Accra bookshop because good bookshops are few and far between here, but that is another story for another day.

The Fifth Mountain
So I am reading The Fifth Mountain. As I am reading the Fifth Mountain, I am constantly reminded of Nelson Mandela’s great speech: “Our Deepest Fear.” Why so? Well, here it is – all credits et al, of course, to Madiba:

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.'
Nelson Mandela

I don’t want to ruin your enjoyment of the book by giving the plot away – I just want to whet your appetite for the core of the book’s message.

Elijah, the prophet. You, the prophet. Me, the prophet
So, the main character, a ‘prophet’ called Elijah, is called by God. God uses him to perform significant miracles and to commune with His people. God also wants to use him to draw His people towards Himself. As a young prophet, Elijah does this with great zeal but as time goes by he realises that this destiny of his also puts him in ever present danger and he wonders if he is a prophet at all, if indeed he has been delirious when he thought he communed with angels, and wonders also what this path, filled with disappointments and challenges, was really worth the trade off he chose, i.e. leaving his work as a successful carpenter to answer to God’s call.

Frustrated and at the end of his tether, Elijah wrestles with God. He pours out his frustrations, reminds God that he has lost love and suffered tremendously as a result of following Him, and although perhaps he admitted that he had sinned one too many times, he challenges God that God Himself has sinned against him by making him go through such difficult times even as a prophet. He would confess and repent of his sin to God, if the Almighty God did the same to him. Quid quo pro. We call it equals and move on

Blasphemy. Abomination.
No. Coelho demonstrates to his readers that it is exactly at this point of wrestling with God that we win. For if you don’t ever question your quest and your faith you in fact claim to be God for it is only Him, the All Knowing, All Seeing God Who knows today, yesterday and tomorrow at the same time can have the confidence and surety that ‘everything is going to be alright’ ALL the time.

Coelho’s call is to yet still pursue dreams and destiny, accepting the joy and the pain of the journey.

Then I thought of Madiba’s speech – our deepest fear is that we are inadequate.

The trials and the tribulations, the seemingly fleeting joy and the seemingly ever present pain and challenges.

Our deepest fear is that we are inadequate.

Better to just give up on your dream. Better to just forget that hope. Better to lose the thought that there is a potentially a glorious destiny for each individual .

Madiba’s cry, and I guess Coelho’s cry, is this:

Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Lessons in living... and loving

2009-01-20T09:10:00.004Z

This popped up in my inbox this morning - I am blessed!

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

2009

2009-01-08T12:29:00.003Z

2009 – the year of possibilities

Possibilities in amidst the downturn.
Possibilities in amidst the price of oil coming tumbling down
Possibilities in amidst our currency losing value
Possibilities in amidst securities losing value
Possibilities in amidst Obama’s imminent inauguration
Possibilities in amidst Ghana showing the world that an African nation is serious about governance and democracy
Possibilities in amidst billionaires committing suicide and the world crying out for help.

These are interesting times, but remember ye that He that keepeth Israel never slumbers nor sleeps. God is still on the throne.

It was only this morning that someone reminded me that it was during The Great Depression when billionaires then were also committing suicide that some millionaires and billionaires were created – like the man in Idaho who ‘invented’ French fries. Oh yes. We’ll need to pray to The Creator of The Universe to open our eyes to see and take hold of the opportunities around us in this New Year.

Business Unusual
It’s not business as usual in 2009, but business unusual.

That business idea must not wait for another moment in your head. Forget sending out your CV to that corporation because you think they’ll see through your experience that you are the man for the job. Write them a business proposal bespoke to them with your idea and then attach your CV.

That business idea that needs funding and the banks are saying ‘sorry’. Look, forget the fact your securities have lost value. Pick one from your portfolio. Liquidate it and use that as capital. The returns, with careful business planning and management, will probably be greater in that investment as opposed to the stock remaining on the market and losing value.

That piece of land that you want to buy. Yes, right now is the time. Even if you bought it now and left it for one year unturned the investment will yield you bountiful reward in a year’s time.

2009: the year of opportunities.

Like David I am encouraging myself in The Lord even as I write. It’s going to be a great year. Alas, it’s got to be: I’ll be 39 on 09/09/09.

Here's to Him through Whom what is impossible with man becomes possible. Selah.

And to Him again through Whom ALL things are possible. Selah

My city, My Lagos

2009-01-08T12:03:00.004Z

The Art of Living – Ruka readers, sincere apologies.,

Several people have reminded me that I haven’t web logged since November. Hmm. As if I needed reminding!

Well, the thing is…I’ve been zapped by Lagos living. I am not even sure that the word ‘zap’ is in the world’s lexicon, but zap is the only way that I think could describe how I began to feel physically after nine months of being in Lagos.

The thing is, I have carried on as if I was in Accra, London, or any other ‘normal’ city of this Planet Earth. The timetable and activity list remained much the same: work (including international travel), church stewardship, MBA, gym, family time and me-time. No change management plan, here.

All well and good, but this is Lagos.
The 5am latest rise. The jump into the car to the gym. The sighing on the way to the gym as a 30 min journey becomes a journey of one and half hours. The rush to thump on the treadmill for 40 minutes. The mad rush to get into the showers and freshen up for work in amidst 20/30 odd other women. The determination to get to work on time. And the determination to have 10 minutes of downtime and me-time riding to the office.

Then the office...
The demands of the deliverables. What is outstanding? Hmm. Ok, must resolve that today. The demands of the boss and bosses. The demands of the client. The demands of office business management and adminstration. The demands of….

The ride of the client site. On a good day 40 minutes. On a bad day two hours. Upon arrival at the client site the meeting that was scheduled for 2pm has now been cancelled. No one thought to call to notify. I drive back to base – praying that there won’t be traffic on the way.

Today’s a great day and there’s no traffic. Back at base. I remember that I haven’t eaten breakfast, let alone lunch. I send the driver out – literally down the road – 10 minutes at most – to buy lunch. He gets caught up in traffic. He returns at 4pm. I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at one meal.

I continue work. At 7.30pm I figure I should probably go home now. Traffic would have died down. It has – somewhat. Catch up with emails in the car. Make a few calls to friends. Read a bit in the car. I get home at 9.25pm.

There’s a power outage. There’s no fuel for the generator. Driver has to go and buy fuel. I wait for 30 minutes in candlelight (hmm, sounds romantic, no? Not when you are in your suit, sweating. Sorry, perspiring).

Driver returns. Generator fuelled and there’s power. I undress and put on my slacks and the TV. Half an hour of peace. Call my Mum (who thinks, by the way, that I am still in Accra and never came to Lagos because she probably saw more of me per annum whilst I was in Accra).

Laptop comes out. Reading for MBA comes out. Work reading comes out. The generator is pounding in my head. Never mind, this is Lagos. Grin and bear it.

It is a quarter past midnight. I must sleep. The generator is pounding in my head

Then church…
The weekly reporting. The membership database management. The people management. The meetings.

Then the MBA
“Ruka, is there anything I can help you with? You haven’t logged on for a couple of weeks now.” Need I say more. I am reading, for goodness sakes! Reading to catch up on what I am supposed to be doing so that when I do log on I can sound somehow comprehensible....!

Dearly beloved readers: do you empathise a bit?

Pretty please, do. Handsome please, do!

Here’s to the New Year 2009! A year of possibilities and great, uncommon testimonies!

Spying on Abidemi Sanusi's Blog

2008-11-11T16:55:00.004Z

Well, truth be known. I've been spying on my sister's blog.

She recently posted a link to the appended blog posting: http://andymoore.wordpress.com/2007/10/26/singles-church/

Good God...

Good God.... just when you thought it was safe to come out and play (edited following Madame Abidemi's comment!)

Keeping Hope Alive

2008-11-05T16:46:00.003Z

It was 5am in the morning and my phone rang. “Yes we caaaaaaaaan. Yeeeaaaaah,” the voice on the other side yelled. “Yeeeaaaaah! Wake up! Wake up! Put on the TV. Put on the TV.”

The voice was from Dubai and one of my closest friend in the whole wide world was jubilant. As I heard her husband’s jubilant screams in the background, I knew that change had come to America.

What a day. 4 November 2008.
Even as I did put on my television and I watched thousands of America in Chicago dance for joy as they waited for President-elect Obama to mount the stage to give his victory speech, even I, far away in Lagos, Nigeria, shed tears of immense joy. Tears of rekindled hope and tears of gratitude. Gratitude that we could indeed realise a day such as this. A day when at last the fullness of the character of a person spoke louder than the colour of his skin. A day when the fullness of the character of a person spoke louder than his religion, and a day when the fullness of the character and tenacity of a person triumphantly saw the realisation of a vision. These are the best of days.

And even better days await us.
As I watched Oprah Winfrey and Jesse Jackson stand in the crowd, awaiting their President-elect, joyous and in tears, I felt that their tears spoke to the hope that they and many other Americans have held on to for many decades. The hope that they feared may never come to pass, but the hope that they nevertheless against all hope dared to hold on to.

And I was reminded of each and everyone of our own personal hope.

Yes, we can
President-elect Obama did more than win the US election the early hours of this morning. He also rekindled the personal hope of many the world over. Yes, we can. Yes, you can. Yes, I can. It's no coincidence that Barack means 'blessed' in Hebrew.

Then my mind and thoughts began to be filled with thoughts of the finest and lead person in my personal hall of fame. Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

Then I thought of the establishment, the Sadducees and the Pharisees who scorned Him, His Message and His methods. But when He resurrected, they were the one who realised that they had rejected Hope. Luddites that they were, they had demonstrated their weakness in wanting to maintain the status quo and reject hope, even as the evidence of the status quo clearly did not respond to their very needs.

The greatest, most humbling, and most comforting thing about President-elect Obama’s speech was its tempo and content. Temperate and measured, he spoke to America and the world all over about the importance of the values of democracy in this very twenty first century, about service to and for all, and the need to work together for the good of all. He gave thanks to his supporters for their contributions in kind and in currency, and demonstrated that he understood that they had supported his campaign not for him per se, but in a cry out for change.

Change that the world might be a better place again with America’s changed leadership. Change that the ideals which the American founding fathers fought for would once again stand true in America’s government of their nation and leadership of the world; and change that once more America and Americans might gain acceptance in this global village that we all live in.

The Appointed Time
And at quiet time this morning I must say I said a prayer for President-elect Obama. For his family and for his government. That our Father and our Lord would give him and his government wisdom to govern. Wisdom to govern well and to govern right. Wisdom to govern for the people and for the world. Wisdom to serve and wisdom heal the wounds from the past eight years.

Rev Martin Luther King Jnr warned that he may not get to the promised land with us, but he had a dream that we would get there. Whoa. What a day.

There is a time for everything. A season for everything under the sun. The Appointed Time. An appointed time comes to all of us. A season of change. And better grab that for the rekindling and manifestation of your own personal hope - and coming glory. Oh, yes. In Christ Jesus.

God bless America.

Celebrating The Moment

2008-09-30T00:14:00.004Z

Thanksgiving
Fifteen years and fourteen African countries later, and I am still thankful, still happily and readily learning, and yet still aspiring, longing in fact, for more.

It’s almost fifteen years to the day since I started working and when I think about the journey to the destination of that first paid employment, the remembrance comes with warm yet defiant memories. That first paid employment.

After completing post-graduate studies it was of course time to realise the benefits of all those many years of studying and learning. So, the work hunt, the job hunt began. The journey lasted almost a year.

Yes. Almost twelve whole months.

I was determined to seek and find employment within my field of study and interest, that is, international development, public sector reform, with reference to Africa. Applications were completed day in, day out. Some were completed for posts in the UK, others for posts in Nairobi, Abidjan, Washington or wherever and with whoever else I felt I could work with to pursue that area of professional and personal interest.

Believe me, although I was not counting, I must have completed a thousand odd application forms and/or CVs during that time. The expectation, the wait, the agony, the pain. When? Will I? Could I?

Our greatest fear
These were questions I asked myself day in, day out. Will I? Could I? When will I get that job? Will I, could I even, get that job?

After some two months or so of agonising anxiety and wondering if I really ought not to have completed a degree in Law or Accountancy, I decided to do something useful /add value to my job search by engaging in voluntary work with organisations that work in the sector that I desired to be employed in.

Two offered me positions – oh yes, competition for voluntary work with many organisations is thick and fast.

I found myself engaged in voluntary work twice a week for Oxfam Campaigns, and three times a week for the Institute for African Alternatives, a development policy research institute. I doubled up that three to four times a week by working in the evenings in paid employment as a market researcher. And there were mornings when I hopped on the wrong London Underground train, not quite sure which of my three work stations I was headed for.

Days were good and days were bad. And I kept asking: ‘When?’ And also asking ‘Will I?’

Advice and Counsel
As if the agony of all of that was not enough, some ‘friends’ thought to periodically ‘advise’ me. Scorn at me. Pity party here…!

In not so many words what they were saying was that I may not be quite as intelligent as all those many university degrees that I held suggested. Otherwise, why would one graduate from two of the UK’s top universities and then embark on voluntary work?

Well, foolish as I may have seemed, the strategy was that since I was determined to work in my sector of interest and yet paid employment was not yet forthcoming, rather than either

(i) sit at home and be depressed whilst I complete five job application forms a day, or
(ii) take up paid employment in a sector not of primary interest but which would give me an income

I chose to offer my knowledge and skills as a volunteer worker in the hope that the experience gained would eventually propel me to attaining employment in that sector of preference.

And that is exactly what happened.

Fifteen years later
I have worked with three major global organisations, enjoying a satisfying career, and have made some lifelong friendships on the circuit. In addition, my remuneration has increased over that time by some 900%, inflation adjusted and all.

Now, tell me, should I not be celebrating the moment?

So in celebrating I pray:

(i) May the work of our hands always be blessed: Deuteronomy 33v9
(ii) May The Lord teach us to profit and lead us in the way that we should go.
(iii) May the plans that The Lord has for us, good plans and plans that are not of evil, plans to give us a hope and a blessed outcome, come to pass in each of our lives
(iv) May The Lord continue to turn around our captivity, as He did that of Zion. So that we would be like those who dreamed. Then our mouths would fill with laughter, and our tongue with singing. Then we would say among the nations, ‘the Lord has done great things for us.’ The Lord has done great things for us and we are glad. Psalm 126 v 1-4
(v) In the midst of difficult times may we be able to be still and know that He is Lord. May we be able to stand still and see the deliverance of the Lord, which He will accomplish for us today, for the Egyptians we see today, we shall indeed see them no more! Exodus 1 v 13

Promotion

2008-09-22T22:26:00.003Z

“So, did you plan for this promotion then? You know, late nights, corporate socialising and so on?”

“No, actually, I did nothing of the sort.”

After yelling in celebratory excitement at the news of a friend’s recent promotion the other day (and very senior level promotion, I might add), I settled down, comforted that it is indeed well.

You know that verse that says that he that is diligent with his work will sit before kings? In the book of Proverbs, I think. Talk about it. I was reminded that my quiet time should be more affectionate and less of a religious requirement.

Imagine walking into your office one day and being asked by senior management if you wanted the senior most position in your department? Imagine being told that senior management believed that you had the very capability to excel in the position, but are willing to give you some time to try out the position and if you didn’t like it, if you felt that it was too demanding, you could go back to your old position in a few months? Imagine.

Well, that’s exactly what happened. The position had unexpectedly become vacant and immediately my friend came into remembrance. of those in her workplace who could change he story there for good. Hmm. May we all come into the remembrance of those who can change our stories for good.

The most curious and amusing part of this for me was the reaction of another who was relayed this good news. Their innocent and blameless question was as I quoted at the top the page:

“So, did you plan for this promotion then? You know, late nights, corporate socialising and so on?”

My friend’s response was simply that The Lord has ordered her steps. No, don’t scorn. Hear me out.

Imagine working well and working late. Working diligently. Determined to conscientiously work well. Imagine wondering why your senior had that position and not you, given that you so obviously are performing better in the position than they are. Imagine asking your Creator, The Creator of the universe when your lot is going to change, over and over again.

Imagine just from nowhere, you also start to progessively change your corporate wardrobe. Less smart casual. More corporate, business wear. Imagine, unbeknown to you, beginning to look the part, even if you did not know what the part was.

So when the corporate lawyer asked my friend how she has planned the promotion, the only answer she could give was that The Lord had ordered her steps. Being in the fierce corporate legal world, he was used to hostile takeovers, mergers and acquisitions, boardroom dramas. To him, you get by in life only through skilful cerebral, intellectual strategy. Imagine his shock to hear that none such deliberate strategy had been planned.

Fear not my child, I am with you always

Girl, Look at You!

2008-09-09T09:32:00.004Z

Celebrating Gender Female
This one is particularly for my lady subscribers: this landed on my inbox this morning - I just had to share it.

Girl, just look at you, with your pretty self. You are so beautiful! Not only are you beautiful, but you have the nerve to be talented and gifted by God. Hold your head up Girl and know that you are loved and appreciated. Don't give the enemy any place to cause you to have low self-esteem or doubt. You are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made. This is your year to decree it and speak it!

This is the year of new beginnings. So get your step on Girl, because God is faithful to perform all that He has promised to you! Be confident in Him and His word. The words you speak from your mouth determine your outcome. Why not speak good and positive things over your life Girl? You are not defeated but rather you are more than a conqueror. You have been through a lot in your life and look at you now, just as pretty and as strong as ever!

Oh, how blessed you are. Look what God has done and look where He has brought you from. Begin to bless God and praise Him for all that He has done, and for making you so beautiful! He had you in His precious hands all the time. Your life is orchestrated by Him. He knows you and what is best for you. Believe that He has even greater things in store for you and your family. Girl, get over the silly stuff and grab hold of faith. Seek God as never before. Sure, times are hard, but God is Good! Learn to love who He has made you to be. There is no one like YOU. -Author Unknown

Celebrating the love of Christ, The King

Whose hope The Lord is

2008-08-23T12:37:00.002Z

And life continues to be eventful even as it is exciting.

I am consistently fascinated by the richness and diversity of the people that I come into contact with day in, day out; and as I reflected on this feature this morning and I thought to myself: what a wonderful world.

I remain exuberantly expectant.

Exuberantly expectant of friendships yet to be made; the business networks yet to be built; and the concomitant great and wonderful experiences to be enjoyed in concert. The knowledge to be shared, the knowledge to be developed. I am grateful for these times.

Leadership, teamwork and excellence happen to be our organisational values. I put it to you that leadership and excellence is remote without teamwork, and I suppose even as I go on about this wonderful world what I am actually celebrating is the value of teamwork, the value of the coming together of people, the coming together of ideas, of experience – and then the makings of creativity, innovation and prosperity.

Moses couldn’t go it alone. His father-in-law advised him to nominate helpers. Jesus, with all His infinite wisdom and omniscience chose not to go it alone and nominated His own fishers of men. God Himself said that it is not good for man to be alone – that he needed a helpmate. He also said that two cannot walk together unless they agree.

No man is an island, and we need relationships to strengthen us, challenge us, celebrate us, and connect us into His purpose. I am learning not to judge on face value but rather to continually commit my days into The Lord’s miracle working hands so that each day brings with it its own discoveries, the makings of fresh friendships and of bright business relationships of His making, even as I nurture those that have been established through His making in times past. And I repeat again, it’s a wonderful world.

One of my favourite passages in the Christian Scriptures is Jeremiah 17:7 which reads: blessed is the man who trusts in The Lord – whose hope The Lord is.

For me these words stem goose-pimpling excitement. I am anticipating exhilarating times ahead. Strangely enough, I am also expecting that these times ahead might be demanding times – demanding of my intellect, my prayer life, my faith, my relationships.

But it’s all good, for that is the rhythm of life. I have learnt that all things work together for the good of them that love The Lord, for them who are called according to His purpose. Since all things will work together for our good, the hard drive of my mind is formatted to be convinced that it IS a wonderful world.

Exercising my Christian Faith

2008-08-02T09:12:00.004Z

Surrounded by the huge rocks and mountains which distinct the Abuja landscape as we travelled to Kaduna by road from Federal Capital Territory a few days ago, I remembered the Aburi mountains in Ghana. I remembered my early morning running expeditions to the Aburi mountains and for a moment and so very concurrently I missed Ghana and desired to reside in Abuja forever. The clean air; the calming and fascinating landscape; even the excitement of running to the peak of any one of these rocks and mountain.....

And I thought that the God who created me out of mud must Himself be a runner.

There is something absolutely and definitively exhilarating about running, or should I say, exercising per se. Physical exercise uplifts your mood, keeps you fit, makes you stronger physically, promotes mental agility, lowers your stress levels, and, quite frankly, makes you feel so, so, so very goooooooood. And then for a moment all I wanted to do was run.

Reducing stress levels with running focused retail therapy
And that is exactly what I did when I returned to base.

With my stress level threatening to reach boiling point as we worked on spreadsheets all day without our figures correlating , I out went in the late afternoon for a bit of retail therapy at the nearby Nike retail store.

Running shoes, running wear, even a mobile phone holder for my running gear so I could take those all important telephone calls even as I run to reach the peak of Abuja’s exhilarating mountain heights. Without so much as any form of food having passed through my mouth the whole day in the midst of work demands, when I returned to the office from my retail adventure, we somehow managed to reconcile our figures. I think it was the anticipation of the run that did it. I was ready for my run.

One of my colleagues suggested that we should get something to eat since we had not eaten all day. Not me, I said. I need my exercise elixir.

So go running I did. Did I sleep well that night or did I sleep well that night. And it did not stop there. I woke up the next morning all so very upbeat. Throughout the day Ms ArtofLiving was on high alert at the client site. The MBA assignment that I could not even bear to look at let alone attempt to start over the past few weeks began to see the light of day of my thought and consideration.

Oh, the joys of exercise
And then I thought, this thing must be genetic. When I was a child my mother often took me along with her for her sundown walks. One of my sisters, yes, the one I often write about, Ms Christian Writer UK, is a running freak….even worse than me, I think – she buys athlete magazines…!.

Well, genetic or not, I resolved that exercising my Christian faith requires me to exercise my physical body, my intellectual mind and my spiritual soul. Then I went to my road map, the Christian Scriptures, for answers.

Well, I did not find that the Holy Bible preaches directly that we exercise, but it definitely advises us that we stay healthy, and exercise is mentioned as one of those avenues for staying healthy. Try this:

Take good care of our bodies (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
Ephesians 5:29 tells us, "After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it..."
And the first part of 1 Timothy 4:8 informs us, “For physical training is of some value…”

Even as I write, someone very close to me lies on a hospital bed suffering from a mild stroke, the outcome of diabetes, a sedentary lifestyle and inappropriate eating habits.

So I thought to myself: the Art of Living the Christian lifestyle– exercise your soul in worship of Christ our Saviour, exercise your mind through intellectual engagement [read, read and then after that read some more], and exercise your physical body even so that you can enjoy the fruit of the exercise of your soul and the exercise of your mind.

Risk and Return: the Law of Attraction

2008-07-28T21:43:00.005Z

The Yorubas have a proverb which warns "let your thoughts and words spell prosperity and goodness for yourself". Gourmet food for thought.

I sat across the table interviewing prospective managers for a friend's SME, and I was traumatised to learn of the extent to which the interviewees were prepared to toy and take terrible risks with their future. Why? Well, could you imagine being asked the details of your preferred salary at the end of an interview and you answering: "well, Sir, please, I prefer not to talk about money at this stage. " Or, "well, Sir, anything you give me, please"

Does that mean you could consider a salary cut? "I could, sir. This is a great company."

If I give you a salary cut you will take it, my friend asked, visibly annoyed. "Sir, don't be angry, please. I don't want to sound greedy by asking for something that is too high."

Indeed.

Whatever happened to the notion of having a vision and running with it? Whatever happened to the notion of self value? Whatever happened to the notion of wanting a return for the risk you/your parents took in paying for that first and or second university degree? Yes, we were interviewing first and second degree holders, and needless to say none of the candidates who magnanimously offered to receive a salary cut made it to the second round of interviews. The law of attraction was definitely at work - we were not attracted to desperation, or generous humility on that day. No, not us.

And yet these are the very same people who religiously attend church week in week out and pray for prosperity. Yet these are the very same people who pay tithes and offering and ask God in prayer to pour me out a blessing - good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.

Let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus. Was it St Paul that said that?
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight. King David, right?

I think God is in the business of rewarding the risk of faith with bountiful return, when your thoughts and your words align with His, returning prosperity and goodness.

I also think, with that proverb, the Yorubas are a special people, no?

Remember Me?

2008-07-25T15:08:00.002Z

Erm, hellooooo. Remember me? Miss ArtoflivingRuka has been pre, pre, pre-occupied.

Blog subscribers forgive. I beg.

Let's just say the second half of 2008 has started with a bang. But...my ever funny, ever inspiring sister posted an inspirational piece on her blog a few days ago. It's a must read, must reflect on piece. Anglian or Catholic trapped in a Pentecostal body I may not be, but there are some home truths in this.

Promise to post my own original piece before the end of July 2008. Yes. Promise!

Living Differently

2008-06-08T14:46:00.002Z

I had arrived early at the mall and thought to use my time efficiently by purchasing a book. I was some 20 minutes early for my rendezvous with a friend. I couldn’t just sit at the café, staring into the open space and wait for my friend to come in through the doors, could I? Better find something useful to do as you wait.

So I went upstairs to the Nu Metro bookstore. Up and down the aisles, looking for an inspirational title. I picked this one up: The Life@Work Book – Sixteen Respected Leaders Talk About Blending Biblical Wisdom and Business Excellence. Very well.

It wasn’t even a few minutes after I had sat down at the table in the café that my friend arrived. I never did get a chance to look purposefully engaged as I sat and read a book waiting for my friend.

Easy like Sunday Morning
I got the chance to start reading the book this morning. Maybe it’s part being rebellious, part being an avid reader who dislikes book introductions, I exercised my prerogative of starting the book from any chapter of my choice. Chapter 9 stared me in the face as I flicked the book open.

Chapter 9
Vision: Seeing Beyond the Majority from Living Above the Level of Mediocrity by Charles R Swindell.

Coincidence? God-Incidence? Well, I never. I begin to read.

The introduction to chapter nine reads like this:
“Charles Swindoll was taking stock of the attitudes of Americans, and he could not help but notice a disturbing reality: People settle. When they could be great, they accept being good – or perhaps just being OK. When they could shine like the brightest star, they opt to put forth only enough enragy for the required soft glow. They settle.”

“Worse,” the introduction goes on, “this acceptance of mediocrity is just as common among followers of Christ – perhaps more common – as it is among unbelievers. Swindoll began to wonder: As believers in the God of the universe – the God that defines perfection – shouldn’t we soar like eagles instead of crawling like worms?”

As I began to read the core of chapter 9 itself, it becomes clearer how Charles Swindoll ascertains that one should live beyond mediocrity: with vision, determination, priorities and being accountable.

Returning to Ascension
I begin to think of the likes of Obama, Kola Karim and the likes of Hilary Clinton. What am I saying, I even begin to think about dear friends and family members to whom all manner of misfortune have collided with but yet they remained determined to ascend, remained committed to their goal and vision (“that’s all I know to do. I can’t imagine myself doing anything else,” I have often heard), and charted out their priorities, even if it meant separating yourself from the crowd and being classified as ‘deep and boring.’

Never mind them, I say. When you get to the other side you will fly your collar and they will say, “I knew her. I knew him. We worked with the same organisation some years back in Kalakuta.”

Attributes of vision
Swindoll went on to describe the attributes of vision – attitude, belief, capacity, determination and enthusiasm.

Attitude: when you have a vision, it affects your attitude. Your attitude is optimistic rather than being negative… “not foolishly positive, as though in fantasy, for you are reading God into your circumstances.” The ever present G-factor that must drive our hopes and our dreams.

Belief: refuse to give into temptation and doubt. Maintain a strong belief in the power of God, confidence in yourself by the grace of God and confidence in those around you who are in similar battles

Capacity: a willingness to be stretched. Allowing your capacity to be invaded by His power. I hear that loud and clear. There has been many an occasion when I found myself saying: “Father, I have done all that I know to do.” His response? “Remember My Word that says, “Having done all, stand,”.”

Determination: that speaks for itself, right?

Enthusiasm – need I say more?

June 08
I had determined to centre my prayers and quiet thoughts during this month of June on the issue of purpose, the manifestation of purpose, and for the closing of the gap between the here and now and of destiny.

I think it no surprise therefore that I ‘coincidentally’ picked up The Life@Work Book.

Ascension

2008-06-06T22:14:00.003Z

History is indeed for each and every one of us to make, and even as I remain totally and absolutely thrilled at the nomination of Barack Obama as the Democratic Party’s Presidential candidate I am reminded that Obama’s ascension is simply a result of his pursuit of purpose.

Never mind what they tried to associate him to in the teaching and preaching of Rev. Wright. Never mind that some have said “not in my lifetime” would a black man be a US Presidential candidate. Never mind the sceptics who continue to have misgivings about the ability of a black man to run the United States of America. With God all things are possible.

I doubt whether Obama set out from his youth to be a US Presidential candidate. What I am inclined to believe is that he somewhere along the way developed a passion for politics and suffered a vision of bringing about social and economic transformation through the political arena. His responsibility was simply to pursue that dream, and to have, to use his own slogan, the audacity of hope.

You and me
What absolutely blows my mind is that he is just an ordinary person. And that gets me excited. It gets me excited because I realise that there is greatness in each and every one of us. Sure, your and my greatness may not take us to the White House, but it will surely take us to a place of fulfilment. Our responsibility is to pursue that dream and be responsible enough to see through the actualisation of the vision.

“Not me,” I hear you say. “I need at least a million dollars to actualise my vision.” I am sure when Obama ran for Congress a few years back he may very well have said the same thing. The difference is that he stayed true to his dream and attracted the finances needed then and now to actualise that dream.

Who needs money?
It was just the other day that my Pastor said, on the topic of purpose, you don’t need money to realise your dreams, you just need a vision.” I didn’t quite make sense to me but I took him at his word and gave the statement some serious thought when I got home. What my Pastor was saying was that your vision is a magnet to which someone will be drawn. Someone will be drawn and provide for your vision.

Your responsibility is to have a vision, market the vision and somewhere along the way the road map will become clearer. How so? Well, how about this.

Fiction story no 1
You want to go to be a great entrepreneur and study at the Wharton Business School. But (and there’s always a comma, in fact many commas, along the way) your parents can barely afford to put you through secondary school.

Days are spent in studying hard in school, homework is not completed after school for you must work the family farm after school for therein is the family subsistence. The evenings are spent studying by candle light for there is no electricity in poverty stricken area that your parents can afford, or barely afford to live. So, the dream of being a great entrepreneur and studying at Wharton seems to slowly pass you by.

But then, you still continue to study. You complete your secondary school education with flying colours and your teachers (out of their own volition) use their networks to seek a scholarship for you to enter into a University – the first in your family ever to embark on such a course. See how your vision, when tilled, draws providers to you?

It does not stop there. You pass undergraduate study with First Class Honours, having studied hard and in the same manner and more in which you studied at secondary school. And guess what, you apply for a full scholarship to complete a Masters in Business Administration at Wharton, and guess what, it is awarded. Maybe it’s not awarded in the first year you apply though, maybe it is awarded in the second year, but fact of the matter is, it is awarded eventually and you realise your dream.

My own fiction as this story might be, the reality is that there are thousands and thousands and thousands of such similar stories and occurrences every single day. Testimonies of God proving over and over again that what is impossible with man is possible with Him. He didn’t promise that our stories would be devoid of the detours of the Rev Wrights, but He has promised to see us through successfully to the other side.

Nigeria’s Young Global Leader
Very recently the World Economic Forum named a Nigerian, Mr Kola Karim, among the 200 odd top young global leaders for 2008. Each year the World Economic Forum recognises young leaders under the age of 40 from around the world for their professional accomplishments, commitment to society and potential to contribute to shaping the future of the world.

I don’t know Kola Karim that well but I have met him a couple of times. Apart from being one of the funniest and most pleasant of people that I know, I am sure Kola did not set out in this race to be a World Economic Forum young global leader. What I am sure he set out to do was to simply yet energetically pursue a business idea. He had a vision which he marketed and worked through, and others provided for that vision in the form of business associates, partners, financiers etc.

I’ll finish with the words of Mr Karim on being named a young global leader:

“It is a great honour to be elected to this community. I dedicate this honour to the 900 million unknown heroes of Africa who work daily towards meting the challenge of our generation, to those who use their imagination, initiative and indomitable spirit to build a new society, and to those who seize the God-given opportunity to help create a new outcome for Africa. This honour is theirs, and I am humbled to receive it on their behalf.”

I celebrate Kola’s public ascension in his chosen field.

And I celebrate the faith of every single American who dared to give hope and change a chance with their vote and support of the Obama campaign.

Acceptance

2008-05-24T19:55:00.002Z

I've just had a funny, funny, funny moment on accepting your lot - taking the good and bad in everything....

I bumped into a South African friend earlier on today. Normally bubbly and full of joie de vivre, she looked somewhat discomforted. "Hey, how was your day today?' I asked. "Not sure," she said, even as she scratched her blonde head. "I've been on the go for 10 hours - I offered to view one of our new offices in Ikeja today. I spent two and a half hours getting there, I was at the site for three hours and spent another two odd hours getting back, and I am thinking, I want those five hours of my life that I spent in traffic back so that I could use them productively."

I laughed my head off like it was a laughing competition.

Honestly, my friend was quite peturbed. She kind of just could not get that it took five whole hours of driving to get three whole hours of productivity! And she was burnt out from the whole experience. I tell you, I laughed and laughed even as she was peturbed.

But you know what? She said, "Oh, well, that's my occupational hazard, I guess. Thank God that's over with." I love that spirit

So, I kind of thought, Ms ArtofLiving, whenever you next have a 'not so pleasant' occupational experience, think of it only as an occupational hazard.

Nice weekend, folks!

Intuition

2008-05-21T07:49:00.005Z

Can I put it to you that there is no such thing as a coincidence? And that the majority of our structured and measured decisions have an intended end beyond that which we ourselves intended? Can I?

Not having ready access to the internet over the past few weeks, I've had time to think through the next couple of postings. The issue of coincidences and God-incidences continued to surround so much of my being, and I kind of figured that I must talk write about it.

I'll start with one of my claims to fame, my sister Abidemi Sanusi. I remember when her book God has Daughters Too was published, I ordered about 10 copies and gifted them to friends. Practically every single person that I gave that book to spoke about how it was a tremendous blessing. In fact, a friend was visiting Ghana for the weekend at the time and I gave her a copy of the book. Two days Iater she rang me from Nigeria to thank me for the book and to say how she so much needed to read the book - it has provided answers and comfort for many of the challenges she was presently going through.

Of course I mentioned this to Abidemi. Her response? It's amazing how God works. He lays it on your heart to write a book, you write it, forget about it and move on to the next project, and then three years down the line hundreds of people tell you the book was written for them.

Coincidence?

I remember three odd years ago I was in Freetown on a short assignment. 7.30pm. Work is done for the day and I am in my unremarkable hotel room. And I am thinking, I need to make better use of times like this. After weeks of thinking how that might be, I decide to embark on an MBA course. A few weeks ago I am giving a presentation on an assignment using all the knowlegde and insight I had gained from the Making Policy module of the MBA, and the participants spoke to how 'on the ball' the presentation was. And I thought: (i) thank God and (ii) coincidences.

The last one for the road. I am currently out of Ghana on assignment. Before I left Ghana all the horror stories that you hear about the country I find myself in threatened to keep me from action. Nevertheless I take the step. I arrive. In absolutely every area that I had had sleepless nights over, a colleague who had earlier arrived from Cameroon readily and with good grace assisted me on every step. Having had to go through those same logistical issues himself, he knew where and how to go about every 'settling in' issue I had. Talk about a forerunner.

Okay, this is really the last one for the road now...

An on church? Well, my church in Ghana has a branch in this city. The only thing is, the branch is far, far away from home and work. So I figure, well, I might only be doing church on Sundays. The week I contact the church office here to find out the logistics of getting to the church, I am told that a mid-week service is being launched in the area where I work - 10 minutes drive from my workplace in fact.

Coincidence? God-incidence? Intuition? None of the above?

Examining Principal Agent Relationships

2008-04-28T09:04:00.002Z

I often like to believe that my responses to most issues, challenges and tasks are temperate and measured. Well, I guess that would apply for the majority of cases, but of course like everyone else I have my turns. But that is not a topic of discussion today – thank God.

I had an experience at the bank last week which allowed me to enjoy (as a principal) the benefits of a principal-agent relationship, but also caused me to more closely examine some of my other principal-agent relationships and to ask how ‘temperate’ and ‘measured’ my responses to these relationships are – particularly in those relationships where I am not the principal. Get it? Well, try this.

So, I am at the bank. They had hand delivered one of my bank cards, but, I guess for security reasons, they had asked that I physically come into the bank to collect my pin number. I had considered how inefficient that whole process seemed, but… I thought to comply and not have a turn.

At the Bank (international bank, mind)
Me: I am here to collect my PIN Number for my bank card
Bank staff: Miss Sanusi? I am sorry but you will have to come back. The lady who can give you that information has just stepped out.
Me: When will she be back?
Bank staff: Maybe around 2 or 3

Note – it was 8.45am or thereabouts.

The mouth-off begins. Measured and temperate. But. With full force authority of a not too happy principal.

(i) Are you telling me she is the only person in the bank that can give me the information I need?
(ii) You asked me to come into the bank to collect my PIN and now when I am here you expect me return later – reneging from responsibilities that I may have between 8-5pm – only to risk this lady not being here? You cannot be serious. I don’t have time to waste. I want my PIN number and I want it now
(iii) What? You are now asking me to call your bank later and check if the lady is back? What sort of customer service is this? The least I expect of you is to apologise to me and then ensure that your colleague calls me when she returns to give me my PIN number
(iv) Can I see your manager?
(v) The manager is not here? Please can you inform me of the actual hours when people do business in this bank so that I can ensure that I come into your bank during those hours?
(vi) All I have heard from you today is a chronicle of what cannot be done. I am your customer. My money is in your custody. I want to access my money which is in your custody and I am not leaving here until I have access to my money which is in your custody.

Mouth-off, mouth-off and mouth-off I did.

A few hours later, I am thinking of my other principal-agent relationships. For example:
(i) God and me
(ii) My mother and me
(iii) My pastor and me
(iv) My driver and me

So, I am thinking. How does God feel and respond when I fall short of His expectations? Does He mouth-off about me to Jesus and The Holy Spirit? “Lord, have mercy,” I thought. For I know I give Him more opportunities than I’d like to admit for any such mouth-offs.

But… He is God and not human. Thank God again. So, He does not mouth-off. Phew. I can exhale.

And then my mother? My pastor? Well, I guess they may rant and rave, but at the end of the day they are usually motivated by love. So when I fall short of their expectations, they may mouth-off, but it is in love.

So why did I not mouth-off in love to my bank staff? Very simple. My relationship with my bank is transactional. I pay to use their services. They impose bank charges and the likes on my transactions, don’t they? Quid pro quo.

God? Ever loving, ever faithful. He allowed the one and all transactional act two thousand odd years ago. Jesus paid in full for my sins and misdemeanors. Thereon, our relationship is transformational. He, The Principal; Ruka, the Agent.

Phew.

Opportunities

2008-04-15T16:31:00.001Z

There’s just something about this city called Lagos. I liken Lagos to New York, and although I have never been to Delhi, everything I have seen on television or heard recalled from the testimony of those I know who visit regularly, tells me that Lagos might very well want to twin with Delhi. Absolute chaos and absolutely electric exuberance all in the same breath.

I have been here 10 odd days now but I came prepared. Expecting little and expecting much at the same time. Expecting little in terms of infrastructural ease and expecting much, much more in terms of all kinds of business and personal opportunities. That is the spirit and the manner of Lagos.

In amongst the chaos, the potholes, the persistent and consistent power cuts, the erratic water supply and the absolutely implausible heavy traffic, every car number plate in Lagos comes with the slogan “Lagos State – the Centre of Excellence.” Unbelievable or what?

But then, on the other side of the coin, you have correspondingly mind boggling business opportunities and business success stories. The first African Forbes listed billionaire is a Nigerian. Then take a look at our sea ports - full of activity to the edge. The airports? Come and watch the jet queues for take off at peak times at Murtala Muhammed International Airport. Please, come and watch. BA and many other European carriers fly out of Lagos twice a day, not counting the flights from Abuja. There’s something about Lagos.

But jokes aside, I think the Center of Excellence slogan is a prophecy. A prophecy that celebrates the spirit and the tenacity of Lagosians who, despite all odds, day in and day out survive, prevail, and triumph over and over again in their every days lives. “It’s my house, and I live here,” I hear Lagosians saying. I hear them saying “I choose to see the opportunities, I choose to celebrate our challenges even as I seek to live prosperously within the limits I find myself surrounded by.” There’s got to be something Biblical in that kind of spirit.

Watch this. Eko on ni baje is the political slogan of the new Governor of Lagos State. For my non-Yoruba brothers and sisters that translates into something like ‘Lagos will not go to ruins’ or ‘Lagos will not ruin.’ I say a huge amen to that. Mega city status that Lagos has now, the challenges for making this city work in terms of public services are humongous. But rather than shy away from these challenges the new administration in Lagos is taking the bull by the horn. Check them out on the official website – yes, there is one.

I say a huge big ups to the social, economic and political aspiration of every Lagosian. What are we aspiring to do, what have we achieved? I hear some ask. Go to London, go to Accra, go to Cape Town and see what is being achieved in the midst of order. Come to Lagos and watch the exuberance of many, the many committed to pursue happiness, wealth and opportunities in the midst of much, much less order.

Spring 08

2008-04-01T11:02:00.008Z

Sometime in October, I wrote about The Coming Spring. I guess in the depth of Autumn and the beginnings of Winter, I was kind of looking forward to Spring. Bouncing Spring. Hope-filled Spring. Colourful Spring.

Well, somehow prophetically, a new and good beginning comes this Spring. Who says Jehovah does not see, hear, or knows?

And in exuberant expectation, I commissioned a painting under the theme of New Beginnings. The artist, Nana Anoff, presented me with this delightful hope filled artwork.

Even the frame Nana used to hold the piece, a replica French window, is symbolic of open doors. The artwork speaks volumes to my spirit every time I look at it: 8 Golden Eggs - eight, the number for new beginnings -even in 2008. Eggs - representing opportunities. Green grass - representing fertility. Baobab tree in the background - representing stability. Skyscrapers - the sky is the limit

This spiring, I am embracing new and good beginnings, new opportunities, fertility, stability and reaching forth to what's before me in Christ Jesus.

Celebrating Christ The King!

2008-03-22T11:51:00.003Z

I don't know about you, but it doesn't much feel like Easter. It almost seems like the Easter week has come too early this year.

But even as I write that I realise that is a contradiction in terms. Why so? Well, no celebration that commemorates the passing and resurrection of Christ can ever come early.

Perhaps what I ought to say is that I am acquainted with celebrating Easter during April. So in the spirit of celebration I say to you Joyeaux Pacques - I sure hope I got that right. Just thought I'd show off something I learnt from my Francophone friend yesterday...!

The World's Untold Stories Revealed

2008-03-03T09:24:00.005Z

I’ve been mulling over the issue of interdependence and obligation over the past few weeks and a further insight into the necessity of interdependence and obligation came over the weekend. The girl is deeep....

One of the ways I like to unwind Saturdays, second best to running in the mountains early in the morning, is viewing at least one of those noteworthy weekend documentaries on BBC World and CNN.

This weekend it was The World’s Untold Stories on CNN and Bride Trafficking in China on BBC World.

The World’s Untold Stories indeed
Somewhere in the Christian Scriptures it reads that poverty is a curse of the law, and the stories told on CNN about the girl-child trafficking in Nigeria, reminded me all the more poignantly that poverty of every kind is indeed the root of all evil. The documentaries also sharply reminded me of the necessity to reach out to our communities and to open our eyes and ears to the injustice prowling around us day in, day out.

There you had featured the story of illiterate female Nigerian teenagers trafficked into Europe as sex slaves. For some of these teenagers, their impoverished families had borrowed and paid for "travel documents" to allow their children legitimate entry into Europe. Legitimate entry to work in menial jobs, get paid and one day return home economically and socially better off - or so they thought. Sadly, some of the parents knew that their daughters were being sold to the sex trade but the depth of their poverty had numbed them of every ability and conscious to think and act with decency and integrity.

Harrowing tales. Rape. Psychosis. Disease. Violent physical abuse. And all that they and their parents had wanted them to do was to “travel”.

China's Bachelor Society
China’s Bride Traffickers had a different but still yet sinister motive. The government policy of one child families, and the preference of families to birth a boy-child, has left China, decades on, with a lot, and I mean a lot, of bachelors. If I remember correctly I think the ratio of men to women is 1:8. And some people are taking desperate measures. Young women are desperately sought after for marriage, and many are being kidnapped for and forced into marriage.

One particular young woman had been kidnapped from her family, trafficked and sold as a bride for one such of China's bachelor. Traumatized, she attempted suicide by drinking pesticide. Mental anguish followed.

Her story at least has a happier ending. A benevolent humanitarian committed to fight this of China’s growing evil in any small way heard of the young lady’s plight from her family, located her years later, and with the support of the police, and rescued her from those that had bought her into bride captivity.

Humanity's call
One thing that struck me from both documentaries was that neither of the two ‘humanitarians’ who had given of themselves to relieve these women from their most difficult and horrible plight, were particular people of faith. They were just responding to the call of humanity.

And as I laid there on the sofa mulling over what I had watched on my television, I found myself convinced that life demands much, much more of us than working, raising a family and chasing fantasies. I found myself convinced that in addition to these each and everyone of us had a calling to impact our generation in any and every small way.

And then I remembered St.Paul’s cry to us all for interdependence and obligation.

The Audacity of Faith...and Love

2008-02-18T20:54:00.006Z

There’s something absolutely, positively inspirational about Eugene Peterson’s The Message translation of the Christian Scriptures. I so often enjoy moments of total quiet delight when I get into The Word as translated in contemporary language by Professor Peterson.

So there I was, expectantly and gleefully reading the book of Romans. And there, even in the first few verses, was poignant and cheering instruction. In verse thirteen of chapter one St Paul writes to the Romans: Please don’t misinterpret my failure to visit you, friends. You have no idea how many times I’ve made plans for Rome. I’ve been determined to get some personal enjoyment out of God’s work among you, as I have in so many other non-Jewish towns and communities.

Whoever said the Scriptural life had to be devoid of enjoyment, dull and dreary, even if devout?

Taking Pleasure in The Walk
If St. Paul was determined to get some personal enjoyment out of doing God’s work even as a leader and teacher, you’d better make sure you do the same in this very twenty-first century.

I have often joked with friends that God Himself is going to hold some of us accountable for the good times and exposure He had empowered us to enjoy (financially or geographically for instance –imagine shunning a trip to Mauritius because the hotel may be jam packed with tourists in bathing suits?) but which we omitted to take hold of in the name of religion.

Isn’t that the same reason why some can go to war in the name of religion?

I overheard someone protest the other day that there are no ‘Christian’ places to socialize and hang out in this city. And I thought to myself: “Yes, and there are no Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, Jewish places to socialize and hang out.”

Short of hibernating in an igloo or in make-believe world, interdependence is one thing that is guaranteed on Planet Earth. We’ve grown so accustomed to limiting our options of socializing (living, in fact) to only those of the same faith – as if there was a guarantee that those of the same faith would always hold dear the same Scriptural and social values as you hold dear.

Tolerance and Interdependence
St Paul buttresses this point in the same chapter verses fourteen and fifteen when he wrote: “Everyone I meet – it matters little whether they’re mannered or rude, smart or simple – deepens my sense of interdependence and obligation.” That spoke volumes to me – I could be as much in need of the company of my simple Christian friend, as I am of the company and friendship of a smart Jewish friend. And, I could, and should even legitimately choose to socialize with the latter.

The cry of humanity - interdependence and obligation

The Audacity of Hope

2008-02-06T07:29:00.001Z

It's Super Wednesday. The morning after Super Tuesday, and America has voted. As we wait for the results of the voting in the primaries, I am impatient with hope.

A Tribe Called Quest
Remember the song they did years, years back called Can I Kick It? And the chorus rhymed in response: "Yes you can!". Well, Barack Obama and his supporters are also rhyming "Yes we can!" Here it is - their absolutely, positively, awesome clip of hope and the coming glory.

http://www.moveon.org/r?r=3374

On Football and Religion

2008-02-03T21:41:00.000Z

Two things you should never discuss, right? Well, this is Ghana and the Africa Cup of Nations football tournament is ongoing.

I never realized I had a hint of patriotism nor any affection for the game in me until I began to notice that every other car that drove past me in this city had a Ghanaian flag clipped on to its window.

Driven by this passion for football and country, I bought my own Nigerian flag and clipped it to my car window. Each time I saw another car in town with a Nigerian flag on it, I hooted, and hooted and hooted them down. It got even better.

I bought one of the Nigerian football jerseys (No. 10 – Mikel Obi – not that I knew who he was, mind…) to wear for the Nigeria matches, and also bought a funky, funky, cute little girly top with ‘Nigeria Rocks’ written all over it in green and white, for the Friday and Saturday nights out.

Patriotism or madness? Call it what you like.

Then Nigeria team qualified for the quarter finals – only to meet Ghana.

Aware of the risk of being deported if I cheered Nigeria on too much, I thought: ‘you know what? This babe is proudly Nigerian,’ and support Nigeria I did.

In the midst of the one thousand and one Ghana t-shirts and fans, I went to the Fan Park today for the quarter finals match with Ghana - wearing my No. 10 Nigerian jersey.

Well, the game is up now and our national football team lost. But I remain proudly Nigerian. - not least for watching our team cuddled together, praying, during half time.

Know yea all men that the Super Eagles will yet rise. And they will fly. Very high!

God is still Nigeria’s God.

Roll on South Africa 2010. Go Nigeria!

The Race and Gender to the White House

2008-01-30T20:18:00.000Z

I am currently reading through Speeches That Changed the World (compiled by Simon Sebag Montefiore). This morning I read speeches from four and five decades ago by Dr Martin Luther, President J F Kennedy, and Shirley Chisholm (all Americans from ages past). And I am thinking today America is at yet another crossroad.

As we watch the drama unfold in the primaries and the race to the White House, I realize that much of what these two men and this woman stood for in the 1960's are still being tested in today’s America and I wonder how America will decide.

Many have predicted that the Democratic Party has planned to lose this year’s Presidential elections because they are principally fielding a white woman and a black man. Their prediction is based on the premise that traditional America is not ready for a female President and neither is she ready for a black President. We live to learn.

Starting with Shirley Chisholm
In an address to the House of Representatives in May 1969, Shirley Chisholm, the first black Congress woman, highlighted and spoke impassionedly on the necessity of improving the lot of the socially disadvantaged, including women. “It is obvious that discrimination exists,’’ she said. “Women do not have the opportunities that men do. And women that do not conform to the system, who try to break with the accepted patterns, are stigmatized as ‘odd’ and ‘unfeminine’. The fact is that a woman who aspires to be chairman of the board, or a Member of the House, does so for exactly the same reason as any man. Basically, these are that she thinks she can do the job and she wants to try.”

Shirley Chisholm sponsored the Equal Rights Amendment, which would guarantee equal rights for all regardless of colour or gender, through Congress. She also competed for the nomination as the Democratic Presidential candidate in 1972. She was unsuccessful. Her race and her gender no doubt played a role.

Ironically Mrs Clinton’s bid to the White House perhaps is enabled by the Equal Rights Amendment. Who knows if the prejudices of the human mind and mindset, which any statute cannot conquer, will stop her from reaching the White House – simply because of her gender.

I have a dream
And then I read that most famous speech. That great and mighty civil rights crusader, Dr Martin Luther King, said in August 1963, “ I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal”.

Dr King went on in the same speech: “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today…..this is our hope”

This could yet be America’s greatest test. Barack Obama’s finest hour - buttressing his audacity of hope.

A new generation of Americans
At his inaugural address in 1961, JFK said: “Let word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans – born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage – and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today at home and around the world.”

He closed his inaugural speech with these words:

“Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world, ask of us here the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love, asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God’s work must truly be our own.”

History the final judge of our deeds.
JFK led America on the ticket of hope and change. Both Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton ride on the winds that cry out for change.

America is indeed at a crossroads. And the legacy, the ideals and the struggles of JFK, Shirley Chisholm and Dr Martin Luther King stand yet still to be tested.

And yet all men are created equal.

The Whole Nine Yards

2008-01-14T09:47:00.000Z

I’ve been teasing a friend of mine of late. Charming individual that he is, I’ve told him several times that were he still single, I’d literally order my younger sister to pack up and relocate here in Ghana. We had recently caught up quite by chance after some five years of absence. So thrilled have I been about his level of insight, joie de vivre, ambition and level of spirituality, that I even telephoned my younger sister in London to tell her about him.

We had a conversation of late that really got me reflecting on the G-factor (that is, the God factor) in each of our every day lives.

A number of exciting, lucrative business and career opportunities are on his plate, and, the great thing about them is, they have literally come to his plate effortlessly. And the key word there is effortlessly.

We discussed the greatness of the absolute mercy of God, and how when He decides it’s your turn for a blessing, well, it your turn o, as we say here in Ghana.

Suddenly you make contact with people who you know you were just fated to meet; you have a business meeting with a financier which leaves you with goose pimples, you are awarded a significant contract which you know you did not give your utmost attention to... the list goes on.

I had one such similar experience late last year. Like joke, like joke (I’m going local today with all my west African clichés...) I thought to make a particular investment and, like joke like joke all things worked out seamlessly, effortlessly and all so very easily. Note - I had been seeking to make the same investment for the past three years and on each and every occasion, it fell through, and I lost a whole lot of cash.

As I talked to my friend, the word from Jeremiah 17 verse 7 kept ringing in my head: blessed is the man who trusts in The Lord, whose hope The Lord is.

We settled on the merits of staying with Him now and forever more, for He is the whole nine yards.

All Things Bright and Beautiful

2008-01-10T17:15:00.000Z

Starting Over
2008 arrived with a bang for Miss TheArtofLiving. At half past midnight on 31 December she was out of church and straight into that party that I wrote about a few weeks back. And what a party it was. After all the praying and praising, it was time to shake everything my mother (actually The Lord) gave me and celebrate the entrance of a new year and new, better, beginnings.

The past three weeks have been enormously fun and love-filled. Plenty of resting, socialising, partying and some 'me time'. It’s funny how, in every day living, we don’t realise how much we omit to give of ourselves to ourselves. Life had been filled with so much doing, doing, and yet more doing. I learnt to relax again, learnt to unwind again, and I even discovered the joy of early morning running in the mountains.

So Miss TheArtofLiving starts 2008 thanking God for Him, and celebrating all things bright and beautiful – family, friends, and the gift of life. She also enters into 2008 exuberantly expectant for fresh, happy, brighter beginnings for 2008.

Prayerfully Preparing for 2008

2007-12-26T10:59:00.000Z

Praying The Scriptures
I went to The Scriptures this morning to literally pray some Scriptures. I always love to go through the book of Isaiah, and to receive instruction therein. The book is full of so many promises. Since this is a Word based blog, you’ll permit me to document one or two of those promises.

Chapter 51 verse 3
For The Lord shall comfort Zion: He will comfort all her waste places: and He will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of The Lord: joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving and the voice of melody.

On every occasion that I read and pray this promise, I replace Zion with my own name.

Chapter 41 verse 10
Fear not, for I am with you: be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness.

Chapter 44 verse 3
I will pour water on him that is thirsty, and floods upon the dry ground. I will pour My spirit upon the dry ground: I will pour My spirit upon thy seed, and My blessing upon thy offspring

In praying this scripture, my utterance is that God Himself would fulfill every thirsting, and pour floods of blessings and remembrance on all and every present scarcity.

Chapter 43 verse 18 and 19
Forget about what has happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I am about to do something brand new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I am making a road through the desert, rivers in the deserts

And as I completed quiet time, one other scripture shouted at me: chapter 55 verse 12: for you shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace…

In 2008 I choose to continue to believe Him for yet more of the evidence of His promises.

Won't you?

Celebrating Christ-mass

2007-12-18T07:57:00.000Z

I am persuaded without a shadow of doubt that my Christmas is better celebrated in these parts, without the turkey and the stuffing, the shopping and the Christmas credit card debts.

I remember my first Christmas in Ghana in 2003. Christmas Eve was enjoyed at a BBQ at a friend's house. I returned home at 4am. Jumped out of bed at 8am to go to the Christmas day service in church. Came back from church and slept.

Ruka woke up again at around 3pm, and went for Christmas lunch (Motherland style with plenty of local delicacies, full roasted lamb, and well, let’s just say plenty of vin rouge and vin blanc). She returned home at 11pm.

Then I thought: yes – that’s the way to do it.

Christmas 2007
Christmas 2007 is going to be massive fun. What am I saying, it is already proving to be massive fun.

I am taking time out of work (yes, you read right), and I can’t wait for the full party season to set in. In fact the party, enjoyment and relaxation season has actually already started. We do a lot of BBQ’s here, and I went to one on Saturday evening. What fun that was.

So, there’s going to be a bit of golfing, some Anomabo Beach Resort time, yet more BBQ’s, and some me time.

New Year's Eve?
As for the 31st night, it’s going to be a ball – there’s only one party to be at in Accra on that night, and guess who has an invite?

But of course I must start the evening of new year's eve in church praising and praying - forgeting those things which are behind, and reaching forth to take hold of what is before me, even as I press for the higher calling that's called up for me in Jesus Christ.

So you see, I have determined to celebrate Christ-mass, enjoying the abundance of the friendships, love and family that He has surrounded me with in Ghana.

How are you celebrating Christmas?

Grace

2007-12-08T03:13:00.000Z

Reflecting on 2007
It is 4.20am in the morning, I am in Nairobi Kenya, and I am reflecting.

I am reflecting on the year that is 2007. I am remembering the triumphs during the year, and I am praying that the sorrows of the year that is will not rise a second time, for the Bible says in the book of Nahum: affliction shall not rise again a second time.

I am remembering that somewhere in the Bible it says that: "I have been young and now I am old. I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging for bread.”

I am remembering my late father. I am remembering his small beginnings and I remembering his astonishing end, and even as I do that I reflect how true the verse in The Bible is that reads something like: though your beginning may be small your end will be very great.

I am reflecting that when the year started and I had just embarked on my MBA course I honestly never dared to believe or anticipate that I would be awarded the distinctions and merits I have hitherto been awarded on the course modules I have taken thus far. And I am remembering that all things work together for the good of them that are called according to His Name.

I am wallowing in the Grace that has brought me to where I am today. Even as I write I lay in bed in a luxury hotel surrounded by all things opulent and comforting, and I am thinking my parents would be very proud.

I am remembering one of the prayers that my pastor often prays which says: you will go to great places, you will do great exploits.

I am remembering the Grace that saw me through many travels in safety during the year; the same Grace that introduced me to new friendships, deepened some existing ones, and yet still sifted some others.

And I am acknowledging the wisdom and necessity of the verse in the Bible which says in all things we should give thanks.

Thank You.

Humpty Dumpty

2007-11-24T23:04:00.001Z

And Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
I’ve had a few doors shut in my face over the past few weeks, and boy has it been tough. Insomnia. Tears. Anxiety. Loss of appetite (well, that’s never a bad thing for a woman….).

But I’ve also had great open doors. At a recent business trip, I can honestly say that I walked into every high office in the country that I visited which I wanted and dared to walk into – and I was given the audience I sought.

So I wondered: ‘Erm. Hello, God? It’s me, Ruka. Can I ask a question? How come several doors of fortune and favour can open effortlessly, and at the same time, the major opportunities and doors that I have sought to enter over the year slam on my face as I dare to enter in?”

My negative emotions were even more heightened every time I entered church. As I listened to the words of the praise songs, and listened to The Word as it was preached, my soul and essence yelled a huge ‘when’, ‘how’, ‘really?’. I am told it happens to everyone.

Rejecting Despair
Then I determined that well, I probably could do with the loss of appetite for a few more weeks and lose a few pounds, but I certainly could not deal with the insomnia anymore (listen, it shows on your face – Heaven forbid for much longer!), and really, my eyes are really too exquisite and delicate to be consistently tingly; and no, all that anxiety? I can’t really deal with it.

So, finally, I settle down. I settle down to hope, I settle down to sensibleness, and I settle down to expediency.

Remember
Someone spoke to me this week and in passing said: God is not merciless, He is merciful. I took her at His Word, so to speak.

Bebe Winans wrote a song about Humpty Dumpty. Well, you know how it goes: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall; and Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. And all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again.

Oh dear. Poor old Humpty.

But Mr Winans goes on….It wasn’t that he fell so hard and so bad that they couldn’t put Humpty together again, it was just that the king’s men were calling on the wrong king. For we know a King Who can put your life back together no matter how great the fall.

And that The King, The Most High God, is still mending broken pieces.

So, if ever you feel like Humpty Dumpty, Mr Winans advises, if you’ve been broken from a fall, remember that He’s just and so faithful and He’ll be there to fix it all. Remember that He is Love and so faithful.

Remember Still
Bebe also sings about Mary. The one who had a little Lamb. Jesus is that Lamb.

He further advises that someone should tell Jack and Jill to get off that hill on their search for a pail of water. Had they not come across The Living Water?

And Little Boy Blue? Tell him, give Him your troubles. He'll take your blues away.

Mother Hubbard? If you trust in Jesus, He’ll put food in your cupboard.

Fables and Fairy Tales
Fairy tales, Mr Winans says, reflect some truths that sometimes happen to us all.

Maybe I had to have a fall, be a little blue, and search the cupboard of my soul to get to this place of hope.

Mindset and Nuances - Reading the Unspoken

2007-11-14T09:32:00.000Z

Still Exploring
I have been exploring the issue of culture, cultural differences and nuance in my head over the past couple of weeks. I guess I am trying to find answers and/or understand my own mindset better, as well as trying to appreciate those of others.

So in turn I went into my books for help. MBA Summer School learning diary, in fact. The Summer School module was on Managing People – and I posted something on that enlightening experience in August.

My Learning Diary
So I turn to the Learning Diary. The first four bullet points shout at me. Here goes:

1. People are governed by different and complex fundamentals – upbringing, culture, exposure, race, gender and therefore managing people is an art
2. In managing people, remember the cultural context – some cultures have a culture of deference and others have a culture of negotiation. Normally, Southern Cultures display deference and Northern cultures display negotiation. These translate into organizational cultures
3. Men and women communicate differently. Women tend to collaborate and cooperate. Men automatically assume that there is a hierarchy to observe
4. People from different cultures and nationalities communicate differently. Watch out for the nuances

Deep.

And yet still very infant
I am slightly amused that, at this age, I am still infant in my thought and expectation that the people I come into contact with are governed by values equal to those I have been brought up to hold dear. And I think many of us probably fall into the same category.

That’s why we can be surprised when we hear that a university student is a student by day and prostitute by night; and when we learn that that most respected CEO is actually overseeing the cooking up of books to inflate the profit and loss account.

All well and good, but what am I driving at? The notion of differing values and mindsets still.

I met a renowned Ghanaian writer the other day. We talked around these same issues, and, as women do, homed in on the issue of relationships and marriage. Her finale?

(i) Men and women marry for different reasons
(ii) In Southern cultures people often marry principally to attain social status, economic status and to have a family, instead of principally for friendship, love and companionship.

Wow. That second point kind of threw me away. And I wandered where that left me.

Or, should I say, I discovered a possible explanation for where I am today…

Laugh at me.

On Managing Change and Being a Legal Alien

2007-11-02T10:53:00.000Z

Confessions of a Blogger
Okay. I confess. I kind of got scared last week when I was posting the entry. I felt that the posting may have been too heavy and I wanted to make it light hearted – so I changed it a little.
Well, bloggers rights and prerogative et al, I changed my mind. Here is what I actually meant to post last week.

Legal Alien Revisited: On the Psychologist's Chair
You know the song by Sting: An Englishman in New York? The chorus goes something like this: “I’m an alien, I’m a legal alien, I’m an Englishman in New York.” I am improvising that song for me to go like this: “I’m an alien, I’m a legal alien, I’m an….” Actually, there’s a problem now for I don’t quite know whether to add “Nigerian in Ghana” to that or “British in Ghana” or “London Nigerian in Ghana”. Confused? Well, that makes two of us.

I had another session with the Psychologist yesterday. This time though it was less intense – it was fun in fact. In fact it was cool. So, there I am on the couch, all relaxed and thankful that since the last session with the Psychologist, by the grace of God, healing finally came. Relief.

So very useful?
So he asks of my opinion as to why the session was so useful. “I think I just finally realized that I was not weak in feeling all those negative emotions. I realized that those emotions were and are legitimate, and the guilt left me. As the guilt left I could finally let go of the negative emotions and thank God for giving me the opportunity to have known Kojo.” I added that I was still bewildered as to how many people seemed to have coped so well and so quickly with their bereavement.

Then, it happened.
“Coped so well?” he responded. “What do you mean by that?’’ So I explain how when my father passed ten years ago the company that I worked for, realizing that my life might be in turmoil for a while, offered to give me leave of absence from work for ‘’as long as it takes”. In the interim I only took two weeks off anyway (being a Muslim, Chief was buried within 24 hours of his passing and no, I could not get a flight to Lagos in time for his burial). The point is, they did not expect things to go back to normal with me for a while.

Bereavement, Change Management and Culture
I then remembered that when a former colleague passed recently in the UK, everyone, and I mean everyone, had been offered counseling and leave of absence for as long as they needed it, and, even from here in Ghana, I could feel that people had been so affected by the colleagues passing. It was a slow grind for everyone to try to get to grips with what had occurred.

The difference is here, well, everyone just seems to be getting on with it, and here I am, or was as the case may be, struggling with coping in amongst super coping people.

“Might it be that what you are actually trying to deal with is cultural differences, and coping with those cultural differences?”

Ah. Now, that’s an explanation and an avenue I had never ventured into.

So, I began to think of all my legal alien experiences.
Well, I listed all of those at the last posting so I won’t bore you with the details again. What I will say is that at that moment I came to realize the ever apparent need to change manage in each and everyday of life and circumstance.

Change management.
In management consultancy, we preach about it all the time – and I mean all the time. Actually let me just make this really personal and admit that I preach all about it all the time during the course of my work.

But. When it comes to applying it in our everyday lives, we seem to forget the fact that we are managing change and disregard the need for an interim period, a transition period, a period of adjustment and a period of coping. In the end, in resisting and not managing a change so obvious and in your face, you find yourself caught between a rock and a hard place.

“Might it be that what you are actually trying to deal with is cultural differences, and coping with those cultural differences?”

I exhaled.
I began to think about some of the adjustments I had had to make over the past four years – and the adjustments I had failed to make which were really pulling me into, well, let’s just say brief moments of confusion coupled with frustration, exasperation and sometimes pure stress.

I’ll start with the time keeping
Where I relocated from, you either work flexi hours, or you work standard hours – you don’t have the option of mixing the two. So I come here and there are no flexi hours. Work begins at 8am.

There’s the small issue of the traffic though. A 20 minutes drive to work could take an hour at least and an hour and a half on average. So it means waking up at 4.15 and leaving home at 5.45. So I am in the office on time – and, because of the evening traffic, I leave the office at 7pm for the gym and get home say around 9.15 – averagely.

I don’t need any lifestyle guru to tell me that that kind of a lifestyle leads to well, let’s just say, many negatives – in amongst trying to have a productive home, work and social life.

But it never occurred to me until recently that, at this level, my employer is not interested in me marking time, but more so in my productivity within the parameters of the outputs and outcomes earmarked for me to achieve in any one financial year. I just put more and more pressure on myself – because I had to, or so I thought, be in at 8am at the latest.

Let’s go on to the genderisation of everyday living
I can’t help being a woman. But when I walk into some client meetings with a male colleague, the assumption is that all the knowledge, authority and information for the meeting, the project, the assignment is fully and only imbibed in my male colleague. It could never be imbibed in me of course, me being a mere woman.

In the moments when you do assert your authority, whether that’s through the insight and ability you display in your sphere of professional discipline or whether it’s in the strength of your socio-economic achievements, the same men in the majority of cases (clients, friends and enemies alike) are, shall I say, somewhat unsettled and some women will even tell you to ‘slow down’.

Help.

But I don’t want to understand that mindset at all, and it’s been challenging to say the least. Accepting that mindset to my mind would be a scorn to the vision, love and toil of my earthly father who so very ably pursued excellence in his endeavours and spurred all of his children on, educating us to the highest standards available.

And most of all, accepting that mindset would also I believe be in contempt of the purpose and gifting which my Heavenly Father has called me to.

So what am I learning to do?
I am learning to manage the change by showing respect, regard and honour to the character and person of everyone I come into contact with – man, woman, child. My hope is that they would see that despite any and every achievement, I am still human. I am still respectful, considerate and thoughtful of all humanity. How could one not be?

The problem is though sometimes, in a culture of power and status deference as you have here, that is, more often than not, seen as a sign of weakness.

Help.

Ending on a light hearted note
I had dinner with a friend last night. And we were talking about this very issue – cultural differences and the challenges these pose to every day living.

My friend is having issues with the way their staff cannot, it would seem, think outside of the box. My response was that people are illimitable by their exposure, and by the same vein, people limited by their lack of exposure - and that's why travel, whether that's regional, national or international, is so important. What is common sense to you may not be common sense to anyone else. The systems, processes and procedures that are standard to you might very well be alien to someone else who has never even left the shores of Ghana. It’s about continuous mentoring. An 'Aha' moment occurs.

And thinking of continous mentoring...
I am reminded that our Lord Jesus Christ is continually mentoring us.

Well, let me speak for myself. I don’t always get it right. Sometimes I obey and sometimes, well, let's just say I miss the mark. I am not exposed to the things He is exposed to for His ways are not my ways, as the Bible says and that means that because I cannot see the end of today from tomorrow and the day after that, I sometimes make decisions and mistakes that He would have me not make because He does see today from tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that.

That means even He is having to exercise patience, exercise mercy and exercise love unto me even as He mentors me.

I guess what the Psycologist is making me realise is that, in managing the change of my new life in Ghana, Iwill also need to exercise patience, mercy and love to those whose exposures, mindsets and experiences are different to mine, and whose responses and reactions to me, are, well, let me say, different to what I might expect.

Aha. I'm a grown up now...

A Legal Alien

2007-10-26T16:44:00.000Z

You know the song by Sting: An Englishman in New York? The chorus goes something like this: “I’m an alien, I’m a legal alien, I’m an Englishman in New York.”

I am improvising that song for me to go like this: “I’m an alien, I’m a legal alien, I’m an….” Actually, there’s a problem now for I don’t quite know whether to add “Nigerian in Ghana” to that or “British Nigerian in Ghana” or “London Nigerian in Ghana”. Confused? Well, that makes two of us.

So, with Sting's melody ringing in my head, I began to think of all my legal alien experiences.

Heard the one about the gardener?
At 6am he calls on the phone. “Madam, I am coming this morning.” “Please it’s too early to be calling me. Call me back after 7.30.” The gardener never showed again – apparently offended that his madam had told him that a 6am phone call to say that he would be reporting to work was too early.

Heard the one about the roundabout?
Here I was, approaching a roundabout and I stop, as there is another vehicle actually on the roundabout and I am waiting for him to move on so I can move in. Guess what? On the round about, he slows down for me and stops and gestures to me to move in. Bewildered, I shook my head and said at him: ‘’You have right of way. Move. This is how accidents start.” The guy angrily uttered words I care not to repeat. I am sure that he thought I was off my rocker.

And the one about the renowned private hospitals?
A friend and her colleague go to donate blood. The nurse’s gloves are stained with the blood. My friend remarks that she would like the nurse to change his gloves before taking her blood. His response? “What’s your problem? Isn’t it your colleague’s blood?”

Another friend’s son goes for his yellow fever vaccinations. The nurse is only able to inject in half of the vaccine – the injection just won’t push down any further. My friend realized that they are using the wrong type of injections for the vaccines.

And the one about the driver?
He gets a premium salary, for the comfort of working longer hours. Perhaps twice maybe three times the salary of the average driver. You give him a tip at least twice a week but unfailingly every month there’s at least one urgent family incident that necessitates him asking for an advance, or a loan, or both.

And the one about the African time?
Meetings do not generally start on time – period. Thirty minutes late, at least. The Africa Business Leaders Forum was held here last week – note, Africa Business Leaders, so a whole load of people from Africa had been invited and paid to attend the forum. Opening day. 8.30 start, to be opened by the President. 8.30 come and goes. Not even the organizers had arrived at 7.45am. The start was delayed by at least an hour and a half. At the morning breakout session I attended on the first day, three of the panel speakers did not turn up – and we start two hours late.

And the one about the ladies at the till in supermarkets?
I soon realized that there’s no point in losing your temper. They serve you, but they serve you at the most leisurely of paces – and they serve you whilst they chat with the adjacent cashier. Forget the fact that all you want to do is pay for your groceries and get out of the supermarket.

And the one about the carpenter who makes you a table that wobbles?
“Madam, I don’t know why you are annoyed. This table is okay. Look at it. It is standing. You can put things on it”

And the one about ….

Imagine how our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ must have felt for all those 33 years on earth?

Rejoice

2007-10-19T10:45:00.000Z

And joy is creeping back in.
It started to creep in from Wednesday evening, after a one-to-one counselling session with the Clinical Psychologist.

Kojo’s funeral was on Saturday and I had determined that I was not going to view his body in the coffin at the church service. Thirty minutes to the time to close the coffin, I had an urge to view. I asked if a colleague would go to the front with me.

And file pass Kojo’s body I did.

Honestly Incomprehensible
I returned to my seat and from thereon until that session with the Psychologist, all I have been thinking about is the body that I saw and all I have been asking is “What is Kojo’s body doing in a coffin?’’ It all was very incomprehensible to me. Honestly.

So the questions raged in my head. How and why could and would Kojo pass. I battled with issues of hope, faith and dreams. I thought of his mother and his widow and I thought of how death had cruelly dashed many of their hopes, dreams and, without doubt, doused their faith. I can honestly say that Saturday was the most terrible day for our firm and I pray that such affliction will not rise against us a second time.

Anomabo Beach Resort
To get away from it all the next day I drove to Anomabo Beach Resort with a friend and her son. Monday was a public holiday here so we decided to make good use of the opportunity. I love Anomabo Beach Resort – the rustic little resort that it is. I have always been able to unwind and refresh there. But even in Anomabo the emotional roller coaster continued. Worse still, I felt immense guilt for asking so many questions, for I felt I was questioning my Creator. Crisis.

So I asked to see the Psychologist on Tuesday. On Wednesday he made time to see me. Even a few minutes to the session I know I needed mega comforting – I has bought six portions of those sickly sweet but nevertheless delicious Lebanese sweets/pastries – and gobbled them down as I sat in my car in the car park of the doctor’s surgery.

But the session was immensely helpful

"It takes time to heal"
"You need not feel guilty for asking your Creator why this happened"
"Your emotions are raw right now so allow yourself to feel them"
"Don’t be too quick to seek closure"

It was all so very comforting.

Over the next twenty four hours as I absorbed the session with the Psychologist, I wondered why everyone else who knew I was bereaved had rather not comforted me but spoke at me about the situation.

"It was God’s will. God allowed it"
"Be thankful that he has been spared the toils of this world"
"Were you close to him?"
"It is well"
"Did he know The Lord?"

Crisis. True as some of those words maybe, they did not heal my pain. All that these words did was to make me feel that I should not be on the emotional roller coaster that I was on. Guilt. Fault. Shame.

The Crooked Manager
This morning I read one of my favourite stories in the Bible – Luke 16 – when Jesus tells the story of the Crooked Manager. In The Message translation, of course. I particularly love verses 8 and 9:

"Now here's a surprise: The master praised the crooked manager! And why? Because he knew how to look after himself. Streetwise people are smarter in this regard than law-abiding citizens. They are on constant alert, looking for angles, surviving by their wits. I want you to be smart in the same way—but for what is right—using every adversity to stimulate you to creative survival, to concentrate your attention on the bare essentials, so you'll live, really live, and not complacently just get by on good behaviour."

Use every adversity to stimulate you to creative survival. I love that line.

Knowing that many of us would be in shock following Kojo’s sudden passing, our firm had organised for us to have access to a qualified counsellor in a Clinical Psychologist – and why not make use of that. Use every adversity to stimulate you to creative survival.

On needing counselling but at the same time being sane
I have boldly and confidently let those close to me know that I am seeing a Clinical Psychologist, despite what they might think. On another note I noticed that there is not one single sign at the entrance of the Psychologist’s surgery that describes his practice, open hours etc, as you would see at any other professional premise. I now understand that it is intentional – because of the taboo with psychology and psychiatry here, many clients would not want it to be known that they are actually seeing a psychologist less people think they are mad.

Africa. People. The world.

The merits of being practical
There is something about being practical yet sometimes we hide behind religion, instead of being practical. Even at Anomabo I had the opportunity to think again on the merits of being practical.

There we were on the beach. My friend’s son and I in the sea and we see a whole bunch of white people huddled together and the life guards running towards them (why the resort was full of white people less us, I will never understand. Why don’t our people take such breaks? At $38 per night/per room for a double, air-conditioned room on a beautiful resort overlooking the ocean, can you go wrong? Anyway, maybe the average black person just unwinds in a different way).

Back to the story
So it turns out that some white guy whilst swimming had suddenly dislocated his shoulder. His pain was tangible. Two hours passed and his wife, son and lifeguards administered first aid and massaged his shoulder with ice-packs whilst he laid still - like broccoli.

Then, one of the waiters at the open restaurant comes to me and asks if I could move my car. “The ambulance coming for this gentleman will need access to the beach through the gate where your car is now parked.” “Opari,’’ I thought. My Yoruba brothers and sisters, you know what I mean..

So I thought. Medical insurance. That’s practicality for you. The medical team drove two hours and a half from Accra to Anomabo to administer para-medical assistance and drive the patient back to Accra to a hospital.

Jabs versus Bars
I then also remembered a decade or so ago when I was travelling to Accra from London and a friend had asked if I had bought my malaria tablets and taken my jabs. At about 150 odd pounds for a series of jabs I really was not going to take any jabs. “God is my healer, ‘’ I told her. “He is,”” she responded,” but prevention is better than cure.” All I could think about was how much fun I could have with 150 pounds in my pocket in Accra.

When Kojo passed, apparently our partners had thought that the counselling should either be conducted through a qualified counsellor or a pastor. I am not sure how and why they decided on the qualified counsellor but I am glad that they did, for not all pastors are counsellors.

In Luke 16 I believe our Saviour Jesus Christ charges us to be practical: “I want you to be smart in the same way—but for what is right—using every adversity to stimulate you to creative survival, to concentrate your attention on the bare essentials, so you'll live, really live, and not complacently just get by on good behavior."

Not complacently just get by on good behaviour. I liken this statement to a charge on the practice of being practical. So I am rejoicing because the Lord Himself is using a Clinical Psychologist to help me through my bereavement. And, no, I am not mad.

And by the way, why is rejoice not spelt rejoyce? Who cares? I feel Joy.

The Coming Spring

2007-10-11T10:38:00.000Z

Understanding Seasons
My favourite one in the UK is Spring, and in Ghana, the cool season – which is around the British summer time period. But I’ve had to go back to my posting of July 16 to find words for the season I'm in.

The season has seen me asking many, many questions. I’ve raised questions to myself, my mentors and of course to God. With one of my mentors, those question time sessions, to be very honest, have actually been LOADS of fun - girly dinners and lunches with, well, plenty South African vin to wash the delicious food down.

But in the midst of these times, I voiced and raised queries on life’s issues to my mentor that I previously would not even have dared to think about let alone voice. But guess what? She had, at some point or the other in her own seasons, asked very similar questions. The guilt eroded.

People just like us
This morning I thought of the woman with the issue of blood. I thought of the Shunammite woman, and I thought of the Syrophoenician woman, and even Mary and Martha when their brother Lazarus passed momentarily. Sorry, very gender-biased today.

Only God knows the mental and emotional turmoil that passed through their grey matter. And I think the point of the record of their life stories is that they are people just like us.

With the woman with the issue of blood (Mark 5, Matthew 8), the Bible records that she had spent every penny she had on doctors but none had been able to help her. I can’t even begin to imagine her grief.

All that money spent on sanitary pads – or whatever they used in those days. And then I am thinking, was she married? If so, that probably means that it would have been somewhat difficult to have sexual relations with her husband, which would have placed an incredible strain on the marriage. Even if she wasn’t, any chance of that would have quickly eroded given the ever present hemorrhage, anaemia, tampons and sanitary pads. God help us.

But God help us He does and did for each of those women came into contact with God’s grace at some point during their low seasons and, voila, breakthrough.

And now for Mireille Guiliano and the July 16 posting. Go ahead and read/re-read. More like spiritual gastronomy, I think.

Transition to The Other Side

2007-10-04T11:42:00.000Z

One of my colleagues passed a few weeks ago. Kojo Atiase.

Kojo had been ill briefly. On that Monday afternoon I had a 3pm meeting with a colleague. Half an hour to the time he came to me to ask if we could meet at 7pm instead – Kojo’s wife had just called to say that he had been admitted to the Teaching Hospital and was in a bad way.

7pm. My colleague was still not back in the office. I called him. “I’m on my way home – I didn’t like the way I saw Kojo. He’s in a bad way.” Now I became alarmed. This colleague was very pensive. Apparently Kojo had suddenly become paralysed on Sunday and they’d brought him to the hospital. Kojo could barely speak.

The fateful Tuesday morning.
Another colleague who is very close to Kojo went very early to the hospital the following morning. He came back weeping like a baby. Wailing, in fact. On the floor. I became scared.

Kojo was so ill that he could not talk, could not open his eyes, as well as being paralysed. Help me out here, for Kojo is 28. A lively, charming, intelligent and yet very respectful young man. Liked by everyone

We informed the partners of our firm. A few calls were made to the hospital. Whatever it takes, at whatever cost, please do it was their message to the consultants who were taking care of Kojo.

A few hours later I made a call to their department. Any more news? I enquired. “It’s bad,” my colleague said. I put the phone down and walked over to their department.

At this stage all I thought was that, at the very worst, Kojo’s condition had deteriorated even further. I went to their department to enquire on what actually the news was. I had not even noticed that everyone was unusually standing, pensive, in the open plan area. “Any news?’ “He’s gone,’’ was the response I got. “Gone where?’’ I asked. “He’s gone,” was all that was repeated to me. "Gone where?'' I asked again.

Bereavement
So Kojo passed. Shock. Distress. Alarm. So striking was the impact that Kojo had made on each and everyone of us that the firm had to organize for a Clinical Psychologist to counsel us all. The sessions are still ongoing, from group counseling to one-to-one sessions.

I attended one of the group sessions. And I came to realize that, in not being able to comprehend why and how someone like Kojo could pass as such a young age, I was actually upset with God.

Yes, I know. Who am I to be upset with God and what right to I have to question Him? Well, I’ll probably be the first to admit that I don’t have any right. But what else could I think? God is The Creator of the Universe, and I just could not help wandering why He had let this happen?

The Clinical Psychologist made me realize though that the emotion that I am feeling is ‘normal’, so to speak. He said that many of us who knew and loved Kojo would be in denial; others in shock; others angry (at God, at Kojo, at themselves) and others yet still very sad. “Well, I am not alone then”, I thought.

The Obituary
Kojo’s obituary is in today’s newspaper, with the lovely picture from his wedding day, not even a year ago. Beloved Kojo. His funeral is on Saturday 13th. What a distressing event that would be.

All that resounds in my head is the words of my pastor to me in this regard: You will not always understand Him but You cannot afford to be separated from Him.

Sunday Service at the Beach

2007-10-01T10:02:00.000Z

Went to the beach yesterday, with a friend and her family. A lovely little private beach they had discovered years back in Kokrobite, a few kilometers to the west of Accra. It’s not their private beach, but they had found the small quiet and private spot a few years back and kept going back there every so often.

I was with my friend on Friday night for a girly evening, and she mentioned that she and her family were going on Sunday morning and would I like to go with them. As usual, I declined her kind offer – “I’ve got to go to church on Sunday.”

My kind and usually soft spoken friend got unusually annoyed: “Ruka, going to church is not a register. You don’t go there every Sunday to tick the box that you’ve been. You can miss church once in a while, for heaven’s sake.”

Struck by her curious irritation, I paused. Then I said, “You know what? You are right, I am going with you.”

And what fun we had. Family, fellowship and fun – in a different form. Got on the surf board, got my hair wet, got sand in my hair, played with her children, discussed matter of the world with her and her husband, enjoyed the beauty of creation, watched some local residents perform a traditional dance.

It was all so very, very lovely and very, very uplifting.

Hope.. and Sweet Salone

2007-09-23T23:10:00.000Z

Democracy and Development
I am excited about the recent turn of political events in Sierra Leone. I’ve had a particular affection for Sierra Leone since the late 1990s when I first started business travel there. I relished the warmth and friendliness of her people, her astonishing beaches, and the delicious, mouth watering range of seafood. For many years thereafter I actually wanted to relocate to Freetown.

As I laid on the Mauritian beach this week and soaked in the natural and stunning landscape, I wondered what was so different about this wonderful landscape to that of Sierra Leone, for on the face of it there was really not much difference. To many Mauritius is a magnificent, glorious island – and I know that few people would describe Sierra Leone as such.

But as I looked more closely around me, even along the beach front of the hotel I was staying, I had the answer to my question. To my left and to my right were a dozen odd hotel gardeners and cleaners, tending to the landscape and cleaning-up the beach front, free of the wastage of hotel guests. That’s maintenance for you. Then I thought of the one-hour long drive from Mauritius’ international airport to the hotel. The second difference would have to be the social and economic infrastructure. A fantastic road network, pot-hole free, and an undeniably buoyant and prosperous business sector. It is certainly a delightful and hassle free venture to be a visitor in this country – and without doubt that is the particular intention of the Mauritian government.

When Poverty is so very tangible
I always say that of all the countries I have visited on the African continent, Sierra Leone strikes me as the leading one in which poverty is tangible from the moment you touch down at the airport. In Accra, Dar es Salaam, Nairobi and even Lagos, you may have to drive say one, two or three square miles before you come into contact with abject poverty. My personal experience of Sierra Leone is very different, and I ache for the suffering that I have seen to date amongst the ordinary folk of that country. From the maimed twenty something year old who looks like a forty year old begging for a dollar in the corrugated iron roofed waiting room at the helipad in the airport, to the young seemingly able bodied but unemployed young man you see, loitering and planted up on a tree at 3pm on a working day, on your way to the sea front to catch the hovercraft across from the airport to Freetown. It is a sorry tale.

And it is so because our political leaders have time and time again let us down. I am convinced that political gluttony and the want for despotic power has been the root of Sierra Leone’s economic, social and political woes of the past decades.

Reconstruction and Development
When I first visited Sierra Leone in 1998, though poverty was rife, there was a determination amongst the public servants I worked with to birth positive social and economic change in Sierra Leone. And that urgency was also evident within the donor community who so very readily disbursed hundreds of millions of grants across sectors in the country – I should know, I was tasked to undertake a number of pre and post -disbursement audits of such multi-million pound grants during that time.

But I don’t see that spirit of urgency, that hunger to see change, in the public sector anymore, less, of course, a handful of groups and sectors. There is lethargy around the place, and there is also, forgive me to say, a thick air of mendacity around which was not so heavily prevalent during those times.

It’s a pity because things were just not that bad a decade or so ago.

Guest houses and well, hotels
There were few hotels in Freetown then but I remember there were a number of basic but decent guest houses – one particular one that we stayed in on several occasions in Babadorie (yes, I know – not particularly a tourist district but we appreciated where we were and why we were in Sierra Leone in the first place as public sector reform consultants), was spotlessly clean – though very basic in amenities. The staff were incredibly friendly and warm – and eager to please. Water flowed most of the time and although there were frequent power failures, at least you could be certain of ten to twelve hours of power per day – and for the average Sierra Leonean that meant that they could plan their days better – cooking, working, etc, etc. Even if there was no power, we were happy to rely on candle light. On many occasions I very readily and contentedly lunched with my counterparts at the Ministry of Finance and the Central Bank – at the local equivalents of what we in Ghana call ‘chop bars’. The chop bars were clean and you could confidently enjoy a meal in the surroundings

And since 2002?
The Sierra Leone I have come to know though after the official end of the war since 2002 is, regrettably as I see it, a poorer nation. Some of those same guest houses have closed down, those that still exist are of an even poorer standard than they were seven odd years ago, and even the new ones are really nothing to write home about. All, and I mean all, fall short of acceptable standards of cleanliness – I have on many occasions had mice as room mates in all four of the hotels that I return to on business travel – plus the musty rooms, soiled carpets, not-so clean bed sheets, cockroaches and mildewed walls.

And as for lunching at the local chop bar – not so fast. Most of them don’t have running water now, so to my mind the risk is just too great. One of my colleagues fell ill with typhoid during a recent visit - another develops severe skin rashes during each visit.

And the helicopter shuttle from the airport to Freetown? Well, maybe I was younger and more fearless a decade or so ago, but I am certain the seven minutes ride back then was not as fraught with danger as they have become – at least the helicopters (yes, the same ones were in use until the recent ban following the fatal crash of earlier on this year) had not depreciated as much then as they have now. And, yes, I mustn’t forget to add – there are no seat belts, no life jackets, not ventilation less the open windows which were in themselves a danger, and no, there is no head gear to protect your ears.

Whoever said that corporate life was all fun and games?

Corruption has been at an unacceptable level, poverty has been even more tangible, and the gap between the rich and the poor is thick and ample. Freetown is over populated with internally displaced people but without the ensuing public services and infrastructure to match the inflows. Public service delivery? You just don’t get a sense that the government is doing anything at all for the people.

Two or three years ago at church service one Sunday morning at a church in Brookfields the pastor led us in prayer. He said we should pray that God would remove the reproach from Sierra Leone. And pray we did.

I echo the same prayer today for Sierra Leone, and pray that the new Government will place national needs, the needs of the citizenry that voted them into office ahead of their own personal wants and needs.

I raise a toast of hope to the people and country of Sierra Leone.

The Run

2007-09-19T12:44:00.000Z

I went for a run this morning. Wanted to savor in the beach, the turquoise colored sea-water. Savor the peace, the breeze, the beauty of creation.

Decided to do six laps along the sea length path – the sand is way too soft here to run on. On my fifth lap I tripped badly – but did not fall.

I thought to myself: better not tempt fate. Just complete your run here and now. And then I thought, determinedly – what if I do tempt fate? Why not tempt fate? You are a child of Faith, you have The Blood of Jesus. Don’t give in to fear.

So I ran two more laps. And no, I didn’t trip.

And then I thought of all the other issues I am encountering which require me to hold on in faith. Then I determined, assuredly, that the God Who kept me from falling as I tripped badly - in an effort to keep body and soul in tune and enjoy the beauty of creation, which is what we all do every day, I guess - will surely also see me through every and any other fall.

And - He will also ensure that I finish ‘the race’ in victory - with body and soul intact.

Spirituality in South African Jazz

2007-09-19T06:46:00.000Z

I am in Mauritius this week – and discovering spirituality in music. South African jazz, to be precise.

One of my favorite, favorite, favorite jazz musician in the whole wide world has to be Jimmy Dludlu. I celebrate his music unashamedly. I have often thought, though with fear and trembling, that his music is so complete it’s unreal. What keeps me from saying that though is my belief that the only thing complete in the whole wide world that I know of is The Holy Bible, and also my anxiety that if Jimmy’s work is so complete, that pre-supposes that I might never hear anything new from him again. Perish the thought.

I bought two of his latest CDS at Johannesburg airport on Monday. Could hardly wait to listen to them. Then, I discovered something that just blows me away….

Whilst enjoying the absolutely enchanting and inspiring harmony, I discover on the sleeve of Corners of my Soul (his release of 2006), that Mr Dludlu must be a Paulo Coelho fan! Can it get better?

Sounds like he is an Alchemist fan! There’s a piece on Corners of My Soul named The Alchemist. This is Mr Dludlu’s own script on the piece:

The Alchemist… a young man leaves home in search of a better life in the big city.. the promise, the toil, the hardship, the turmoil, the deceit, the denial, the pain..the pain…the pain.

Whoever said attaining purpose, hopes, dream (call it what you like) is without pain?

Celebrating Mr Dludlu – my musical inspiration.

Fight The Good Fight of Faith

2007-09-13T09:22:00.000Z

This was delivered to my mail box this morning from The Warrior of the Light, one of Paulo Coelho's e-journals. It spoke volumes to me so I thought to post it. All credits, copyright et al to Paulo Coelho, of course.

The good fight
“I have fought a good fight, I have kept the faith,” says Paul in one of his Epistles. And it seems appropriate to remember the theme now that a new year is stretching out before us.

Men can never stop dreaming. Dreams are the food of the soul, just as food is to the body.

In our existence we often see our dreams come undone, yet it is necessary to go on dreaming, otherwise our soul dies and Agape does not penetrate it. Agape is universal love, the love which is greater and more important than “liking” someone.

Remembering Dr Martin Luther King
In his famous sermon on dreams, Martin Luther King reminds us of the fact that Jesus asked us to love our enemies, not to like them. This greater love is what drives us to go on fighting in spite of everything, to keep faith and joy, and to fight the Good Fight.

The Good Fight is the one we wage because our heart asks for it. In heroic times, when the apostles went out into the world to preach the Gospel, or in the days of the knights errant, things were easier: there was a lot of territory to travel, and a lot of things to do. Nowadays, however, the world has changed and the Good Fight has been moved from the battle fields to within us.

The Good Fight is the one we wage on behalf of our dreams. When they explode in us with all their might – in our youth – we have a great deal of courage, but we still have not learned to fight. After much effort we eventually learn to fight, and then we no longer have the same courage to fight. This makes us turn against ourselves and we start fighting and becoming our own worst enemy. We say that our dreams were childish, difficult to make come true, or the fruit of our ignorance of the realities of life. We kill our dreams because we are afraid of fighting the Good Fight.

The Battle Within Us
The first symptom that we are killing our dreams is lack of time. The busiest people I have known in my life had time for everything. Those who did nothing were always tired and could hardly cope with the little work they had to do, always complaining that the day was too short. In fact, they were afraid of fighting the Good Fight.

The second symptom of the death of our dreams are our certainties. Because we do not want to see life as a great adventure to be lived, we begin to feel that we are wise, fair and correct in what little we ask of our existence. We look beyond the walls of our day-to-day life and hear the noise of spears clashing, feel the smell of sweat and gun-powder, see the great defeats and the faces of warriors thirsty for victory. But we never perceive the joy, the immense joy in the heart of those who are fighting, because for them it does not matter who wins or loses, what matters only is to fight the Good Fight.

Finally, the third symptom of the death of our dreams is peace. Life becomes a Sunday afternoon, not asking too much of us and not asking more than what we want to give. So we feel that we are “mature”, leave aside the “fantasies of childhood” and guarantee our personal and professional success. We are surprised when someone our age says they still want this or that out of life. But deep in our heart we know that what has happened is that we gave up fighting for our dreams, fighting the Good Fight.

False Peace
When we give up our dreams and find peace, we enjoy a period of tranquility. But our dead dreams begin to rot inside us and infest the whole atmosphere we live in. We start acting cruel towards those around us, and eventually begin to direct this cruelty towards ourselves. Sickness and psychoses appear. What we wanted to avoid in fighting – disappointment and defeat – becomes the only legacy of our cowardice. And one fine day the dead and rotten dreams make the air difficult to breathe and then we want to die, we want death to free us from our certainties, from our worries, and from that terrible Sunday-afternoon peace.

So, to avoid all that, let’s face the rest of 2007 and the years ahead with the reverence of mystery and the joy of adventure.

Laying Aside Every Weight

2007-09-03T20:29:00.000Z

Well, I did it. Last week I had just about had enough of physical lethargy. This every moment filled with a ‘to do’ and an activity was just weighing me down. So I made a few phone calls.

To the E-Learning Manager
Most politely I informed Linda that she would have noticed that I had not much participated in the current module of the MBA course. Could I get a refund on the module? Could I refer my participation to the next time the module was running? Could I take a break from the next module as well? Thankfully Linda said yes to all of the above.

Then I remembered that I did not actually have to complete the MBA in the minimum time prescribed, and reminded myself that there is a reason why there is a two year difference between the minimum time it takes to complete the course and the maximum time in which you can complete it in.

I exhale. Maybe I can have my weekends back now.

To the Ladies Club
Erm. We are doing great, valuable outreach work here. But I’ve been quite overwhelmed for the past couple of months. I need repose and must take some time out from so many of the activities that I am involved with perhaps until the end of the year. Please could somebody else take over the coordination of activities? Thank you.

One final all important email
To one of my mentors and leaders. Please. Leave of absence from some of those many activities till the end of the year. Please.

Jethro
Then I remembered Moses’ wise father-in-law who advised him to delegate some tasks and not overwhelm himself with so many activities. What a wise man he was.

My MBA marks on assignments were falling from distinction to merit to passes. I was not carrying out many of my responsibilities and activities with the same fervor and attention to detail. Even going to the gym was becoming a chore. Worse still, my quiet time was not providing the strength that I knew it could.

No. I can’t do this to myself. Time to lay aside every weight.

Parenting

2007-08-26T19:44:00.000Z

Mummy Dearest
Not being a parent yet myself, I can’t say I know what it is like to be a parent, but I do know that almost every time I see or speak to my mother on the telephone I feel her unconditional and absolute love for me. Ever attentive, ever concerned, ever caring. Ever ending each telephone conversation with those three little words: I love you.

To be honest, I have always taken that love for granted - and even those three words for granted. Of course she loves me: I am her daughter, for goodness sake! But now more than ever I do realize that, as odd as this may sound, she does not have to love me – many women I know have estranged relationships with their mothers. Fact is though, even though she does not have to, even though we see each other only two to three times a year, her priority is always to let her children know the depth of the love that she has for them.

We remain her priority – our hopes, our dreams, our health. I am thankful to God for her, and I am craving to reciprocate and appreciate her love even more.

Stretching the borders of life
At quiet time this afternoon I thought how often I worry, fret and go off on a tangent with God when I am concerned about whatsoever. I then I realized that the reason that I go off on a tangent is because, frankly speaking, I don’t trust God enough to deliver on His fatherhood responsibilities, for if I did, I am not sure I would fret as much as I do sometimes.

Then I remembered my mother’s love and tried to perceive God’s love for me within this context. I determined that I had to totally trust and obey Him.

People with their minds set on You, You keep completely whole, Steady on their feet, because they keep at it and don't quit. Depend on God and keep at it because in the Lord God you have a sure thing. Isaiah 26 verses 3 and 4

Alchemy

2007-08-21T15:49:00.000Z

The Alchemist
One of the books which has had a profound effect upon my life is The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. If you ever needed motivation to pursue your dreams, The Alchemist is a sure read. I received the book as a gift on my 27th birthday. Ten years on, I am still raving about it. In fact, I must have read The Alchemist at least five times if not more, and have bought at least double that amount of extra copies for friends. It is such a totally, totally terrific read.

And no, Paulo Coelho is not paying me to write this…

Santiago
The hero of the book, Santiago, a poor shepherd boy, had a dream. No, I don’t mean a vision. I mean he slept and had a dream; and through emotional, spiritual, financial and physical drudgery, he pursued the actualisation of that dream.

And he did it with pure gusto.

He was adventurously expectant. Emptied himself of everything that was within him, and in the process, found life, found love, found many friendships, and found his treasure. He lived, to my mind, generously and abundantly.

‘‘I have come that they might know life, and know life more abundantly.’’

On trying to fast track abundance
A few years back, my neighbour’s domestic help came to greet me one Sunday morning. He joyously told me that he would be travelling to the UK. Very well, I thought. And what would you be doing, I enquired? Oh, he would be studying accountancy he informed. I enquired on how he had managed to obtain visa, funds to study et cetera.

Without any hesitation he told me that for the handsome fee of $2000, he had solicited the assistance of someone from the Army who had fraudulently obtained a visa for him by saying that he (i.e. the domestic help) was his (the Army officer) son.

He caught my attention now.

Where had he got the $2000 from, I asked? Oh, he borrowed it from his boss (my neighbour), he told me. Someone had come to make a payment to his boss whilst the boss had travelled, and he had used part of the funds to pay the Army officer. And yes, he had every intention to pay his boss back. All he needed was just someone to pay for his ticket to the UK, and he would work as well as study and repay his boss.

Out of sheer shock, I laughed so much that my stomach ached.

Back to Santiago
Santiago’s story in The Alchemist is really the story of our lives, if we allow God to work in us. His story is not that much different from that of Joseph, David or of St Paul for that matter. He lived, he experienced many ups and many downs, but he held on. He held on in faith and in reverence hope in his dream.

The thing that really blows my mind about that book is at the very end. By this time Santiago has travelled from his home in Spain to Tangiers and then to the Egyptian desert. Then he physically sees the object he dreamt about. Just as he was about to dig for his treasure, a couple of tourists jostle and mock him, questioning the right of a shepherd boy to be in amongst the tourist site of plenty.

The story of Mephibosheth in 2 Samuel chapter 19 comes to mind as a parallel here. I think at this point it also helps to remember that Paulo Coelho is a deeply religious Catholic.

Santiago explains his mission to them and explains that he is about to contact his treasure. Sarcastically, one of them mocks him further. Telling him that he had also had a similar dream, but, unlike Santiago, he had not been as foolish as to pursue a dream dreamt over a hangover. Well, guess who missed their opportunity?

Needless to say, Santiago continued on his course and found his treasure and fortune. True to the very end.

Dictionary definitions
The dictionary definition of alchemy is the "medieval forerunner of chemistry, concerned particularly with attempts to convert common metals into gold". Whilst I think my former neighbour’s domestic help was attempting to turn metal into gold the impossible way, I feel that Santiago actually succeeded in doing so – and he did it the right way, the legitimate way and yes, he found his treasure. The road was the road less travelled, the road was long and hard, but it was also the road that led him to friendships, wisdom, his wife and his treasure.

But as for my neighbour's domestic help, if I know my former neighbour well, I am sure the minute he returned home from his travels, he got the police to arrest the domestic help.

Our charge
Our Saviour and our Lord has charged us live an abundant life. He has charged us to make the most of every situation, and He has charged us to add value to every situation we find ourselves in. How? Ecclesiastes 9 is a great read: Verses seven and eight tells us to seize life and to reverently relish life, make the most of each and every day of this gift of life. Dress festively every morning.

Festively adorn all that is you (your business, family, your career) with joy and gladness. That is true alchemy – choosing to turn the metals in our lives into bullion. The road less travelled.

Wisdom -the art of living skilfully in whatever actual conditions we find ourselves in.

Coincidences, God-incidences and The Water of Life

2007-08-20T08:34:00.000Z

Psalm 105 verse 3 warns: Keep your eyes open for God, watch for His works; be alert for signs of His presence.

The Week that Was
These past couple of weeks have been somewhat special. In amongst many concerns that sought and fought for my attention, I felt The Almighty God nudging me to calm down, and reassuring me that He is with me.

The warming thing has been this: He consistently gave comfort even on the most minor issues, impressing on me that even on the seemingly trivial points, He makes room for us. It's been heart-warming.

Consider the ravens
Luke 12:23-25: Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life

On using water judiciously
I had guests last weekend from London and Lagos. Fun though it was, I had to remind the guest from London that here we use water judiciously. Go easy on wastage! They left on Tuesday. On Wednesday evening after work, I dash to the shower to refresh – it gets pretty hot here. At 30 degree’s centigrade, it’s winter.

The Gym comes to the rescue
Turned on the tap. No water. Okay, forget the shower. I had bottles of mineral water in the fridge. I would use those to at least wash my face. I would need to go to the gym tomorrow morning before work and have a shower there after my work out. That would mean waking up at around 4.30, have my quiet time and leave the house by 5.45 to get to the gym by 6am when it opens.

So, tired as I was from entertaining guests over the long weekend, I packed my gym bag and considered what to wear to work the next morning so that I could also pack the outfit into my gym bag.

Lunching and praying at home
Ordinarily two to three times a week, I go home for lunch - and to pray. The plan was to go home at lunch time, give the maid some money and instruct her to start looking for a water tanker – those of you who have lived in these parts will catch my drift. I then thought of what it would cost. Honestly, after spending on guests over the last couple of days, that was an unwelcome expenditure.

Well, I never made it home at lunchtime. Work was busy on Thursday so I was stuck in the office till well after 9pm.

My very efficient bank ATM
As I got ready to leave the office, I remembered my water issue. Oh dear. The plan was to go to the ATM near home, withdraw cash and give this to the maid the next day when she comes in, for the purchase of water, when I come for lunch. Tonight, I’d use my bottles of mineral water to freshen up again and leave for the gym at 5.45am the next day so I could have a proper shower.

Tired as I was in the midst of this, when I arrived at the ATM, it was closed. I committed to close my bank account with the bank.

I then had to drive some 15 to 20 minutes to town to another ATM. Tired and hungry as I drove to town, this phrase came to mind: ‘o ye of little faith. Just go home and you may well find that water situation restored’. In my mind, I responded: “God, you know I have faith in You. I just don’t have faith in the water company.”

I drive to town, withdraw money from another ATM and drive home – tired with a capital T.

I arrive home, I turn on my tap, water gushes out.

Trust in The Lord with all your heart.

Discerning the Intimacy of God

2007-08-12T17:48:00.000Z

Coincidences, God-incidences and Discerning the Intimacy of God
God is intimately present with us every second of our lives; and Psalm 105 verse 3 warns: Keep your eyes open for God, watch for His works; be alert for signs of His presence.

Coincidence and God-incidence number one
Two years ago a friend in the UK spent her vacation with me here in Accra. She needed a break, was suffering from serious UK-fatigue and wanted to relocate to Africa. We had planned the vacation activities with military precision.

My work life being the way it is, a few days to her arrival, I had to travel to Sierra Leone. I asked my friend not to cancel her trip. We arranged for her to stay in a hotel for a couple of days whilst I would be away, and I arranged for some friends to socialise with her whilst I was away.

At the hotel, one day over breakfast she had a chat with another guest. They both had the same profession, they discovered. Over the conversation the gentleman became impressed especially by her intellect, her understanding of their profession. They swapped business cards and kept in touch. Today, through their professional networking, they do business together and she has relocated to Africa.

Coincidence and God-incidence number two
Last night I visited a friend who had just returned from a short break in Europe. She bought me two gifts – a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful funky white cotton shirt, and a set a make-up brushes. Immediately I saw the latter, I laughed, and blurted out: “God has a sense of humor.” Why so? Well, try this.

Whilst in the UK myself some weeks back, I had purchased one of those foundation cum powder from Mac. The sales lady told me that I needed to purchase a make-up brush to go with the foundation/powder. The cost? 25 pounds. Haba! Twenty five pounds? Needless to say, I did not buy the make-up brush.

I came back to Accra and was wondering where on earth I was going to find a make-up brush, let alone one of good quality. Stressed out by the thought, I had already given up even before I started to shop for the brush.

And then last night, I received not one make-up brush, but a set of make-up brushes.

God know His Fatherhood responsibilities
To me, that was God whispering to me that He knows every single one of my needs, even those un-uttered, and as my Father, He is absolutely committed to meeting me at my point of need, day after day after day. This was particularly warming and reassuring, as the past seven days have seen my thought life pre-occupied with a particular need.

Coincidence and God-incidence number three
Two years ago a member of our church mentioned to me that God had impressed it upon her heart that a few of us should gather resources together and purchase a new car for our Pastor and his family. His car was very old and rickety and we could not have him driving it much longer, whilst we cruised in our high-brand saloons and 4WD’s. Besides, the Bible is very clear about the importance of, and the blessing that comes with, giving a Levite offering, a Prophet’s offering. This was to be a surprise to our Pastor and it was all very hush-hush.

We promptly embarked on the project with zeal. A dozen or so members were prayerfully consulted about the scheme and we set about the decision as to which car to purchase. Mid-way into the decision-making and gathering of the financial resources, our Pastor and his family had a car accident. No-one was hurt but the car was very badly damaged. It was clear that God had intimately confided in the friend when He prompted her that a few of us should get together and purchase a car for our Pastor. The rest is history. We purchased the car for our dear Pastor and duly handed it over to him and his family within three weeks of the accident occurring.

I know you by name
Last night’s make-up brush moment was yet another way of God reassuring me that He knows His Fatherhood responsibilities and He knows me by name. He will never leave me nor forsake me. My only conditionality is that I follow Him, trust Him and obey Him. Well, I am not sure that I always get any one of those fundamentals right, but then again, God is a forgiving God.

Praying for the purpose of God and occurrence of God-incidences
One of the prayers that I unreservedly pray on a daily basis is that the purposes of God be established in my life. I realise now more than ever what a powerful and intimate prayer that is. I realise that what I am doing is asking God to become an intimate part of my everyday life, to have His way in me. His Presence is always with us but we must ask for that Presence to go with us.

That’s what Moses did. He refused to leave Egypt without the presence of God, without the will of God (Exodus 33). ‘’If Your Presence doesn’t take lead here, call this trip off right now. How else will it be known that You’re with me in this, with me and Your people? Are You travelling with us or not? How else will we know that we’re special, I and Your people, amongst all other people on this planet Earth?’’ God’s response to this heartfelt retort of Moses? ‘’All right. Just as you say; this also I will do, for I know you well and you are special to me. I know you by name.’’

Once you reverently ask for His presence to go with you, you leave yourself open to be used by Him and in the most subtle and intimate ways. He makes you an instrument of His peace, His purpose, His mind.

God friendship is for God worshippers
As I sign off I am reminded of a verse in Psalm 20 which reads: ‘’God-friendship is for God-worshippers; they are the ones He confides in.’’ What a privilege to be a God-worshipper. Like Moses, we can all be identified as a friend of God, someone who God confides in, for God indeed knows all of us by name. Every hair on our head is numbered by Him – not counted, but numbered. And all it takes is reverent God worship.

You Bring Me Joy

2007-08-07T11:35:00.000Z

An Unusual Quiet Time
An old song of Anita Baker's sprung to mind during quiet time this morning. Goodness, how could I? This is worship time.

Then I remembered the words of the song:

You bring me joy
When I'm down
So much joy
When I lose my way your love comes smiling on me

I saw your face
And then I knew
We would be friends
I was so afraid, but your arms, they'd say 'come to me'

So I say to you"Can we talk for a while?"
You said "alright"
I feel your hands and you feel mine
You bring me joy

You bring me joy
Don't go too far away
Cause you're the finest thing I've seen in all my life
You bring me joy

And then I understood why the song came to mind. I knew I was singing a worship song.

Social Change, Diversity and my Christian Faith

2007-08-03T20:58:00.000Z

The Demerits of Technical Rationality
I just returned home from many a light bulb making moments of an MBA Summer School. Talk about enlightening. Talk about it.

Our Summer School instructor, the delightful Ms R, was, by all accounts enlightening. There she had twenty odd matured international students cum professionals, all richly knowledgeable and experienced in their field – and yet all wanted even more management education. But Ms R, astute as she is, threw the ball back to our court and introduced us to reflective and transformational learning.

Managing with a tolerance for ambuguity
Oh yes, she did. How so? Well, management education we came to learn, is about transformative learning, and that process, students cum international professionals, involves and requires reflection and not rational technicality. If you think you are consciously competent in the technicality of your discipline and profession, think again, think twice for that matter, for I am about to awaken you that your true calling as international managers is to manage with flexibility, manage with deep insight, manage with flexibility, and manage with a tolerance for ambiguity. For if you are to be successfully and efficiently manage your organization and hence people, it will take more than a few theories in management education. It will, fellow learners, take you thinking outside of the box, and realizing that your HR resources (and the art of developing your HR resources to realize their fullness personal and professional development) is the best hope for your organization’s future.

My lightbulb making day trip
So Ms R took us on a day trip. She did not disclose many details beforehand though. And, the technically rational international managers that we are, we were utterly frustrated by this. ‘What on earth could we learn just sitting listening to presentations all day?’.

So, we arrived at the site. An administrative office caring for the many living needs of the physically challenged in Sandwell. ‘God help us. What is Ms R up to?’ Well, some of us were to learn, she was up to awakening us to the very best of reflective and transformational learning.

So turn by turn the speakers spoke and presented. Inclusion, diversity, social change, inclusive citizenship was the theme. Social exclusion for any citizen regardless of their race, age, disability, creed was Zero Tolerance zone. So we met and listened to a presentation by the blind wheel chaired fifty something doctor (I forget which discipline his PhD is in) who had a family and had traveled worldwide on the academic and lecture circuits. We heard the 50 something HR manager who reminded us that the elderly, the transsexuals, the homosexuals, the ethnic minorities and the physically challenged have as much to offer in skills and abilities as anybody else and reminded us to be alert to this truth in our organisation’s HR practices.

And I began to be awakened to my own biases
How I have a preference for the heterosexual. How I have a preference for a certain kind of people, of a certain kind of age, from a certain kind of place. And I wandered how many potentially rewarding friendships I had missed out on because of my prejudices.

Vanity Fair and Bishop Desmond Tutu
The July edition of Vanity Fair magazine was a special edition on Africa, edited by Bono. Being mad about Africa, I purchased a copy. In an interview with Brad Pitt, Bishop Desmond Tutu said a few words. Here goes.

“I come from a situation where for a very long time people where discriminated against, made to suffer for something for something about which they could do nothing – their ethnicity. We were made to suffer because we were not white. Then, for a very long time in our church we didn’t ordain women, and we were penalizing a huge section of humanity for something about which they could do nothing about – their gender. And I’m glad that now the church has now changed all that. I’m glad that apartheid has ended. I could not for any part of me be able to keep quiet, because people were being penalized, ostrasized, treated as if they were less than human, because of something they could do nothing to change – their sexual orientation.

For me, I can’t imagine the Lord that I worship, this Jesus Christ, actually concurring with the persecution of a minority that is already being persecuted. The Jesus I worship is a Jesus who was forever on the side of those who were being clobbered, and he got into trouble precisely because of that. Our church, the Anglican Church, is experiencing a very, very serious crisis. It is all to do with human sexuality. I think God is weeping. He is weeping that we should be spending so much energy, time, resources on this subject at a time when the world is aching.''

Now, I don’t agree with Bishop Tutu on everything he said, but my newly developed diversity awareness kicked in.

Are we right in the Christian church to shun the homosexuals, the prostitute, the drug addict, the homeless who may meander into Sunday service - in all, the vulnerable?

No Christian church would probably admit that they do any of the above, but our self-righteousness and prejudices might very often turn the socially excluded away from The Liberty that they actually need in their every day lives.

And as if we ourselves do not toy with addiction of all kinds, whether that is sexual, power addiction and an addiction to our jobs and work to the detriment of all and who that we hold dear. Yes.

So, I wander where this leaves me. I am pro diversity, pro inclusion, and I am also pro Christ.
I believe in the power of His love – and I believe that He has placed skills, knowledge and abilities in all kinds of crafts in each and every one of us – regardless of our race, gender, age and sexual orientation. Would it be fair to say that we would only contact, the world would only benefit from, those skills, knowledge and abilities in all of humanity if we give diversity a chance?

Imagine a world without the outcomes that Martin Luther King Jnr fought for. Imagine a world without the outcomes that Emily Pankhurst and the Suffragettes fought for. Imagine a world without the outcomes that some such as William Wilberforce fought for. Imagine a world without the outcomes that the ANC and other freedom fighters such as the Aborigines fought for. And imagine a world without the outcomes that Zackie Achmat fought for?

Imagine.

Didn’t all these people all just seek to remind us that all are created equal? That no gender, no race, no economic class should live at the bereft of the other?

Baba Mi

2007-08-01T12:09:00.000Z

Today is the 10th annivesary of my father's passing. We liked to call him Baba mi.

Baba mi, we all miss you like crazy. I love you more each passing day. And with each passing day as I grow and mature in my own life and experiences, I become even more aware of the depth of the sacrifices you made for us all - and the breadth of the love you had for us all.

I remain forever grateful to God, and am very proud, to have known your fatherhood. Rest in peace always.

Resolving What Love Really Is

2007-07-26T11:38:00.000Z

And I fell in love with God.
Yes, the Living God. Who devotedly breathed The Breath of Life into me. The God Who daily loads me with blessings and new day presents. The One Whose attention I am, for I am, like you, the apple of His eye. The One Who has empowered me to multiply and increase; to live well, to live blessed. The only wise God Who has given me the liberty to live, liberty to love.

When He breathed the breath of Life into me, He empowered me to increase in all that He is - love, joy, peace, health, wealth, strength. The list goes on. What a privilege to be loved by Him.

But to realise that Love, to become conscious of that Love, I am having to die sometime, many a times, to myself - my own needs, my own desires, my own wants. That’s the notion of surrender. Succumbing, yielding, so that I might live – truly live, God’s way.

Galatians 5 verses 22-23 clarifies.
‘’But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.’’

Learning Love from Father Abraham
In the book of Genesis chapter twenty two, the Bible records Abraham’s celebrated odyssey and remarkable action of total surrender. Organized and set to sacrifice his son to the living God, Abraham astonishingly determined the sacrifice and passage as an act of worship.

What became Abraham’s recompense for this great act of surrender? Deliverance from having to physically sacrifice his son, and a special return from God. Verses 9-18.

The God Who ever lives to make us whole
One of the things that really blows my mind about God is that He ever lives to make us whole. He is absolutely and totally committed to our well-being, our healing, and our prosperity. That’s love with a capital L.

‘”Hardly,” I hear you say, “He never saved my marriage. He didn’t prevent that rape. He didn’t prevent that bankruptcy.” Very well, God may not have prevented those terrible events from happening, but He is so totally and absolutely committed to you being emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically healed from them so that you can know the blessed life that He has promised.

Sometimes in life we come into contact with tragedy because of the decisions we either made or did not make. Likewise, we also come into contact with incredible joy because of the decisions we did make. Sadly, we can often encounter tragedy through no fault of our own – the sexual abuse you suffered as a child which drew you into confused adulthood; the untimely death of a parent which saw you growing up at the mercy (or lack) of dreadful relatives; that stepmother who controlled your father and saw to it that only her own children, not you and your blood siblings, were sent to school. Where is The Love in all of this? Where is the God that is committed to making me whole and why is He has allowed this great pain in spite of His Love?

But this is where the paradox lies.
It is in the famine of our emotions, the dearth of our financial wealth, the incapacity of our human intellect to repair the gaping holes in our lives that we realise that we ourselves do not always have the answers, solutions and remedies for life’s pressing challenges. But there is a Living God Who provides freedom and liberty even in amongst the mess. His invitation was and remains “come unto Me all you who are weary and heavy laden. I will give you rest.”

When God sent Christ from the majesty of heaven to planet Earth, He gave us, in Love, a Saviour. When the Saviour momentarily died, God felt yet more pain for His Son – imagine that separation. However, His pain was relieved by the great exchanged that took place at The Resurrection. Through that rebirth, God could have His Son back with Him in heaven, and He could also have us reconciled with Him.

But how does that translate into our every day living?
What can we learn from this and how do we cultivate the art of living from this insight? Perhaps we might try these: expressing love to family and friends through consistent acts of kindness; being available to listen, to advise, to laugh, to play. Choosing to appreciate their hope, their pain, their joy, their commission.

Being ready to forgive, to make that phone call, to send that email, to make that visit. It’s the notion of sacrifice again. It means being true to each of our calling to serve others in love – whether that is our calling as a friend, sibling, spouse, or parent. It’s hard, believe me I know, but I tell myself I must try, and try, and try again.

I Corinthians 13
One of the deeply celebrated chapters in the Bible is the love chapter in 1 Corinthians 13. The last verse of that chapter directs us to “Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.” Love extravagantly. Galatians 5 verses 13-15 expands: “it is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom.”

Selah.

Home, sweet home

2007-07-26T11:32:00.000Z

Back home now.

Back to power failures (funky name for it here is load management), less than clean tap water, pot-holed roads, hammering my broom at wild geckos who have dared to invade my living room...

Back to church, friends, the gym, to MBA studies, to demanding clients.

Home, sweet home.

Living with Teenagers

2007-07-21T13:33:00.001Z

I am spending the weekend with my eldest sister and her three teenagers - and I could produce a PhD thesis on what my ears have heard and my eyes have seen over the last couple of hours.

It's like a scene from the living with teenagers section of the saturday Guardian newspaper.

I can't hear what they say - they speak too fast
I can't understand what they say - they speak a different form of English to the one I know
They spend an awful lot of time on the internet
They spend an awful lot of time on their mobile phone

And all I want to do is hug my sister and tell her what a wonderful job she's doing. I can't help but wander what I'll be like when I am in her shoes...

I've also asked my niece and nephews when they'll be visiting me in Ghana. Can someone set up a blog on The Art of Living with Teenagers? Help.

French Gastronomy

2007-07-16T09:08:00.001Z

I am heartened by Mireille Guiliano.

I am currently in the UK and walked into Waterstones the other day as excited as a child on Christmas Day - all those books! We don't have many good bookshops in Accra. In fact we don't have many bookshops in Accra full stop. But I am told that the Accra Mall (opening 'late 2007') will have a Nu Metro bookshop. Counting the days...

Mireille Guiliano - discovered her quite by chance in the Waterstones 3 for 2 section. Oh, the joys of French gastronomy.

Visited her website and found this interview on her second book, French Women for All Seasons:

French Women for All Seasons is about the art of living well. And, of course, it is filled with stories and tips from my personal experience.

A secret to enjoying life and discovering pleasure is cultivating a life of ongoing experimentation, exploration, enjoyment, and self-discovery. Whether it is living through a season or life, my principle is the same: embrace the seasons and seasonality and make savoring life a more intense experience.

The challenge for people is their lifestyle. Many people go through life on autopilot, paying little attention to their senses. They have a lifestyle of inertia and want a quick fix. Readers of my first book understood that changing a lifestyle is not measured week to week, but year to year. It requires effort and attention, yes, but the benefit is a more sensuous life, and a more fulfilling one. You learn to know yourself, develop a positive emotional outlook, and enjoy more of every aspect of life.

French Women Don’t Get Fat enabled millions of readers to enjoy a healthier relationship with food. My aim with French Women for All Seasons is to enable readers to enjoy a healthier relationship with life!

Voila.

Learning From Dr Martin Luther King

2007-07-16T09:08:00.000Z

One of the books I am currently reading is The Autobiography of Martin Luther King. If you ever wanted to read something inspirational, intellectually stimulating and immensely comforting as it is challenging, try this one.

A few lessons in living and quotes of worth from the book:

Budgeting (talking about his father): he knew the art of saving and budgeting. He has always had sense enough not to live beyond his means.

Getting along with people: My best friends were in Sunday school, and it was Sunday school that helped me to build the capacity for getting along with people.

White people: the Intercollegiate Council (at Morehouse College) convinced me that we had many white people as allies...I had been ready to resent the whole white race, but as I got to see more of white people, my resentment was softened and a spirit of cooperation took its place.

Black ministers: I had seen that most Negro ministers were unlettered, not trained in seminaries, and that gave me pause. I had been brought up in the church and knew about religion, but wondered whether it could serve as a vehicle to modern thinking, whether religion could be intellectually respectable as well as emotionally satisfying.

Ministerial spellbinders: the minister must be both sincere and intelligent...we have too many ministers in pulpit who are great spellbinders and too few who possess spiritual power.

The usefulness of preaching: Preaching should grow out of the experiences of the people. Therefore I as a minister must know the problems of the people that I am pastoring. Too often do educated ministers leave the people lost in the fog of theological abstraction, rather than presenting that theology in the light of people's experiences.

The status quo: religion should never sanction the status quo.

Gandhi: my study of Gandhi convinced me that true pacifism is not non-resistance to evil, but non-violent resistance to evil.

Niebuhr: Reinhold Neibuhr had over-emphasized the corruption of the human nature. His pessimism concerning human nature was not balanced by an optimism concerning divine nature. He is so involved in diagnosing man's sickness of sin that he overlooked the cure of grace.

Coretta: my wife Coretta, without whose love, sacrifices, and loyalty neither life nor would would bring fulfillement.

Rediscovering lost values: I'm not going to put my ultimate faith in the little gods that can be destroyed in an atomic age, but The God Who has been our help in ages past, and our hope for years to come, and our shelter in the time of storm, and our eternal home. The God I am talking about this morning is the God of the universe and the God that will last through the ages. If we are to go forward this morning, we've got to go back and find that God. That is the God that demands and commands our ultimate allegiance.

The individual: a religion that ends with the individual, ends.

Biblical Girl Power: lessons from my sisters of ages past

2007-07-06T16:13:00.000Z

On the Shunammite woman, the Syrophenican woman, and Hannah, mother of Samuel
One of my sisters recently asked me who my favourite female characters in the Bible are and why. I hesitated to give a true and genuine reply, and was slightly surprised by the response that I later came to give her: the Shunammite woman, The Syrophenican woman, and Hannah, mother of Samuel.

If I am to state the order of preference, I think my first favourite character would be the Syrophenican woman whose story is told in the book of Matthew chapter 15, and then again in the book of Mark, chapter 7. Desperate for the healing of her daughter who had an unclean spirit, the Syrophenican woman cried out to the Messiah for help. And The Messiah, the Saviour of the whole world, told her, ‘It is not meet to give the children’s meat to dogs.’ Unperturbed by His discourteous response, the Syrophenican woman’s own retort was equally curt, ‘But even the dogs can eat the crumbs from the children’s table.’

But even the dogs can eat the crumbs from the children’s table.
What my favourite character A reveals and shares with me about her relationship with The Messiah is this: ’Although I am religiously distant from You, although my culture brings a distance between us, although I am precluded from accessing You because of my Syrophenican genealogy, although You are God and I am man, I will, nevertheless, access You, I will beg of You and I will, I must, have my need met by You.’ The Syrophenican woman realised that her deliverance from what threatened to wedge a distance between her and the Lord could only come by her steadfastness of faith and her persistence – despite what others may think or say.

And indeed the Messiah, the Syrophenican woman’s Messiah, our Messiah, responds to her that even amongst the Jews He had not seen such faith. Being a rewarder of them who diligently seek Him, the Messiah meets her at the point of her need, healing the woman’s daughter in turn.

Spiritual Comas et al
The testimony of the Shunammite woman blows my mind no end (the book of 2 Kings, chapter 4). My biblical tutor here, the wealthy, generous, middle-aged, God fearing woman, has gone into a spiritual coma.

She had grown so familiar with her barren womb that she cared not to remember that she was barren at all, preferring her focus to be on honouring God and supporting the ministry needs of His prophet, Elisha. God was distant from her in that one significant area and she had closed the door for any form of restoration. What she failed to remember though was that one of the many ways in which she could honour God was also to believe in His Word that He could speak and breathe the breath of life into her barren womb.

On being known among your people but dieing inside
Touched by the generosity of the Shunammite woman, Elisha enquired of her on a pressing need. Like the Messiah, he wanted to reward her in God and show her the power of His love. But the Shunammite woman gave Elisha a loaded, abrupt, almost dismissive reply: ‘I am known among my people.’ Never mind me, she seemed to say, I do well. I don’t need and neither do I want to be reminded of my shame.

Elisha came to know that this my biblical favourite character B had no child, and he went on to prophesy to her womb saying that within a year she would give birth. Scornfully, the Shunammite woman asked Elisa not to toy with her emotions. God had seemed so distant that she would not even perceive deliverance when it knocked at her door.

The Lord's ever present mercy
But such a reverent and kind heart does not go unnoticed by the great God we serve and I am certain that the Lord needed her to know that He had heard all of her prayers, even the ones she had failed to utter to Him but which had been written all over her wounded heart. And of course she went on to have a child.

The reason why the Shunammite woman impresses me is that even when God seemed distant, she chose still to serve Him. The Bible records that this was a wealthy and respected woman. She dwelled among her people and did good. She appeared not to have let her overwhelming need engulf her life. She moved on in life and in God despite her need. What a great testimony.

And finally mother Hannah
All those years of waiting and trusting God to make true her desire to conceive. All those many long years of enduring mockery from Peninah and her children.

And Hannah just kept going to Shiloh. She just kept on going to Shiloh. She kept praying. She would not, she could not, let Him go. She had to keep trusting – even if it was for her own sanity. She had to believe that her story had to change. That’s the notion of desperation again.

When it seemed like the storm would never end she prayed a desperate prayer during one of those trips to Shiloh. ‘Give me a child, and I will dedicate him to You’. What sacrifice. And Hannah laid with her husband, Elkinah, the bible records.

Now the rest is history.

God Can!

2007-06-27T10:18:00.000Z

Celebrating Kemi's Journal
One of my claims to fame is my sister Abidemi Sanusi, Christian Writer and author of many books, one of which is Kemi's Journal of Life, Love and Everything. I love Kemi's Journal - read and re-read it many times and must have tired Abidemi with a thousand and one requests for her to courier case loads of the book to me here in Ghana (can't buy them here yet). I just had to keep buying extra copies of the book for friends. I just had to pass the book on.

The me in Kemi
As the book starts Kemi, newly born again, rants about how the super spirituals in her church have told her that she must keep a journal and record what God is doing in her life. "Yeah, like anything exciting ever happens to me anyway, " she said. Thankfully she succumbed and we now have Kemi's Journal.

There's a bit of everyone in Kemi. Honestly, there are so many parts of that book that reminded me of my experiences, and many who have read the book say the same thing. It was so refreshing to see a Christian Writer come out, so to speak. Actually, to be honest, there were times when I had to pause when I was reading the book for I felt that I was actually reading about myself. (Abidemi, you didn't, did you?!).

There's a similarly themed book by Bishop T D Jakes called Cover Girls - ladies, go out and buy it. In fact, this book offended me because I saw bits of myself in every single one of the characters, and I was wandering why Bishop Jakes was publicly dealing with everyone of my emotional deficits. Some of these writers are agents of the Holy Spirit, you know.

But then again, the book, like Kemi's Journal, also brought healing.

Keeping Journals
I remember in 1999 I joined a non-denominational fellowship of twenty and thirty something Nigerian and Ghanaian professionals (the Ghana link started way before, right?) in London. Funky guys and gals - seeking to be sold out in work and play to our Lord and Father. Great days of fellowship and Bible study. Powerful sessions. We met weekly for 2/3 hours, and once a month we met for all-night prayers. It was indeed a fellowship of love.

Then someone from the fellowship prompted me, like they did Kemi in Abidemi's fiction, to start a journal. Being cautious as I am (blush, blush), I was reticent, but I nevertheless committed to document significant moments - new spiritual learning curves, praise reports, pity party reports - the lot.

Last weekend I stumbled upon something that I had written to my family and close friends on September 9 2003 - my 33rd birthday. It smiled as I read the entry, for it documents the ever faithfulness of God, and my joy and peace on that day. It also reminded me of the value of documenting - our reminders of where we have been, where God has brought us from, our expectations and our victories.

Here goes: God Can!
As I danced blissfully to the jingle of Ray Parker Jnr, Maze and Bette Davies at a friend’s 40th birthday party on Saturday night, I reflected for a moment on my elation. Here I was, totally delighted. Totally delighted that I was here, at this time, doing this very bop, and loving every moment of it. I felt assured that I was created to be at this place, in this very city, at this very time, with these very people. I danced unreservedly; I danced a dance of freedom, and loved every minute of it.

As I celebrate my 33rd birthday to day, I celebrate the faithfulness of God to me, and I celebrate my life in Christ. I celebrate the you in me, and the contribution you have made to date in my growth. I celebrate today the beginning of a lifelong dream.

I write this journal entry as a record of my delight in the Christ Jesus who I serve. I thank Him for 33 years of learning, 33 years of growing, and for 33 years of receiving. I am grateful to God for His many, many, many blessings unto me. I thank Him for giving me the desires of my heart. Only He could have brought me to the place of contentment that I am in now. I am truly blessed.

Today, I encourage you to live YOUR life – pursuing the worthy, honest desires of your heart; those very desires which prod you from deep down within. Dreams do come true, and yours and mine are no exception to that rule.

Be Deliberate

2007-06-21T09:06:00.000Z

Training Courses and Light Bulb Moments
I have participated in two separate training courses in as many months – the first was on Building Financial Models, the other on Leading People: Designer, Teacher and Servant. Given the distinct disparity in content between the two, I was struck with the consistency in which each separate training facilitator prompted participants to “be deliberate”.

Be deliberate. The facilitators directed us to respond, and not react, to the activity, task, or responsibility that had been given to us. Within the context of building financial models, you begin with a whole set of assumptions, conditions and a desired financial objective. The idea is that in building the model you tackle the design of each condition precedent deliberately and in turn. Building towards the desired end, but allotting each specific task at hand due regard.

Similarly, as a leader your task is set out for you in an overarching vision. Your responsibility is to always be deliberate and true to that aspiration through the way that you lead the co-creators of that vision. You don’t react to issues and responsibilities, but you purposefully and deliberately respond to them within the scope of your purpose.

Struck by this principle, I went to The Word for validation.

David and Goliath – the vision and the seeming stumbling block
David was deliberate when he volunteered to fight Goliath. When King Saul offered him his royal war armour, David declined, saying that he was unfamiliar with the kit. “I am not going to war with that unfamiliar gear,’’ he seemed to say, “I’ll go to war with what I’ve tried and tested and what I know works.”

I have lost count of the times people have asked me when I am going to set up my own consultancy firm – doing what I appear to be doing so well now for my own profit, they say. I often respond with terse derision - and I am sure they think I don’t know what I am about. Yeah, like they know me more than I know myself.

I started out this race fourteen years ago and although I can’t say I started out deliberately, God has ensured that I have remained deliberate, unto the place where He is taking me.

University degrees....
During the final year of my BA degree in Economics and Politics, I sought the advice of my favourite lecturer, Dr Michael Hodd, on what to study for my Masters degree. I had thought of an advanced degree in Economics. “Oh no,” said Mike. “Development Studies. That’s what you want to do. Much more interesting.” So, just like that, I sought for and enrolled on a programme in Development Studies.

I studied with various other students who had completed voluntary or work stints with NGOs in Africa, Asia and Latin America, and who, even though Europeans, knew and understood international development issues better than me. They were so often baffled by me, the unlikely African. I had not lived in a mud hut, didn’t have a Cockney accent, and hadn’t grown up in the backstreets of east London. Well, I was equally puzzled by some of them.

and Careers Day...
I recall during that time at Careers Day there was someone from DFID and another from a UK NGO were invited to give us a talk on what is was like working in international development. The DFID personnel gave a great talk to my mind but it would appear that all my fellow students better embraced the speech of the NGO worker. When she asked by a show of hands how many people in the room wanted to work for a donor organisation, I was the only one that raised my hand. When she asked how many people who wanted to work for an NGO, I was the only one that kept my hand down.

I wanted to work with the likes of the African Development Bank, the World Bank, the European Commission, or Coopers and Lybrand’s Management Consultancy Services.

But this is a blog post on being deliberate.

My point is that I stayed true to that vision. I’ve worked with three major international organisations since then, and to all intents and purposes, I have enjoyed the journey, and I have seen progress. Each new project, each new country, each new experience added value to the next; and although times and seasons sometimes caused me to ask questions, I do very much see how everything has tied together – from the course in Development Studies to present day Public Sector Management consulting.

Briefcase Consultants
So why do I smirk when people ask me why don’t I set up my own firm doing what I do right now for my own profit? Well, I don’t want to be a briefcase consultant. I don’t want to walk the corridors of ministries touting for consultancy work from unlikely clients who may want something for something – more especially when my touting is not tied to a prestigious internationally renowned brand. They just will have a quid pro quo – trust me. Besides, it’s just not me.

Having worked with global organisations, I’ve realised a thing or two about building, maintaining and managing a regarded brand; the challenges of delivering consistently to a high quality; and the resource requirements to undertake and complete capably on assignments – people, ICT, network, finances. It’s just easier for me at this moment in time to do what I do how I do it.

Ruka Inc?
But I do have the future and a reward in sight – just like David – and that is what is driving my present toil.

It will be a future where I am using all the resources, network, knowledge and experience that God has allowed me to go through all these years to reach out in an advisory capacity to communities and institutions around me involved in smaller international development outreach projects.

I might do it through a global organisation (may be even the one I am working with now) – perhaps managing and executing their corporate social responsibility or community relations portfolio. Or I might do it through a Ruka Inc. But I have a game plan for when that must happen – and I am praying and working towards it. Me thinks that might be much more rewarding than touting for business in the corridors of the ministries in Africa. Don’t you?

Write the vision, make it plain
So often when stumbling blocks come, we are tempted to shy away from the bigger vision. That presupposes one thing: that there is a vision in the first place (Habakkuk 2). So I am learning to take time to pray for and think through my vision for my professional future, and document it – and to also take cues from others. God can speak to you through others, as He did me through Michael 15 years ago. Incidentally, Michael is also the academic reference I resorted to for the MBA course I started last October. That’s another story of stress and reward in the same breath.

Believe you me there have been times during this journey when I’ve thought I ought to have studied a different first degree. But I went along with my lot – sometimes in fretful hope that the vision will come to pass, and sometimes out a sheer frustration because all other doors where locked and it seemed that this was my lot – so there – take it or leave it.

Emotional Intelligence
What I will say is that I am realizing the importance of being true to your convictions, through thick and thin and even in the face of demise – just like David. As such, I am learning a new dance to the rhythm of life - the importance of being emotionally steady and committed to my convictions: responding and not reacting to situations so that I don’t jeopardize the personal and business relationships that are supposed to see me through the vision, and so that I don’t enter into the relationships that will block the actualisation of the vision.

So, with thanks to my two trainers, I have learnt a new dance to the rhythm of life – being deliberate.

Possessing the Secret of Joy

2007-06-14T12:23:00.000Z

And all copyright et al to Alice Walker…

A decade or so ago the African-America writer Alice Walker wrote a book entitled ‘Possessing the Secret of Joy.’’ I never read that book, but the title always stuck with me. And I am convinced that many, many people around the world have purchased the book over the years not for its literary excellence, but simply because of the title: for we all want to possess the secret of Joy.

Joy
The noun we all seek, and at the same time the noun which is at any one moment intrinsically surrounding us. But the secret of possessing joy is often dependent on the span of our focus. Do I choose to focus on that large utility bill which has just arrived to remind me that my disposable income this quarter will be limited, or can I instead choose to be thankful that I have a job and can honour this large utility bill in the first place?

So often in life we find ourselves longing for more. More happiness, more wealth, a better car, greater business growth, more obedience to God, promotion - more, more, more. It is indeed right in my own viewpoint to long for more; and I am accustomed to the notion of wanting more.

Maximising the moment
My worry though is this – that in the longing for more, I may not be maximising the moment, and yet I so very much need to maximise every moment, for therein lies the secret of joy.

I am learning therefore that my own obligation in that process is to ensure that I give my best to every task before me so that I am qualified to ask for more – and that takes some doing.

But perhaps it is this challenge of giving your utmost best to any task (be it your relationships, your business or your career) that must precede a desire for more. That’s the notion of ‘having done all – stand’ – Ephesians 6.

Might we firstly proceed on why it is important to long for more?

Insatiable by nature and limitless in appetite
Who was it that said human beings are insatiable by nature and that limitless appetite, being natural, is good? Whoever s/he was s/he must have been influenced by Biblical truths for the Bible records that we should be anxious for nothing (Philippians 4 verse 6).

The Biblical advice is this: “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” The implication being that in our desire for increase we often worry ourselves sick about how to get more.

The evidence of progress
Yet we must want more, for more is often the evidence of progress. But in so doing let us also choose to balance this desire with a deep appreciation of our accomplishments to date; and with gratitude for how far we have come on our journey. Pause.

Did you have the influence that you do today five, three, two years ago? Did you have the quality of the understanding, wisdom, assets and investments that you do today five, three, two years ago? That is maximising the moment number one.

Then, let us balance that with a further appreciation of the progress targets we have set for ourselves for the future – and we must have progress targets for the future. Pause. That’s maximising the moment number two: toiling in expectation of your harvest.

Our roadmap, the Bible, puts it succinctly in the book of Proverbs chapter 6, verses 6 to 8: “Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest”.

Making Comparisons
Part of the problem though is that we are always comparing ourselves with others around us who seem to be doing so much better than ourselves. That seems like a journey of dispossessing the secret of joy. Why so? Because our commissions, our experiences, our challenges and our victories are never going to be the same as those around us, and if at all we do chose to compare ourselves with other people, we must remember to do so within context. Note the dialogue of Jesus and the centurion in the book of Matthew chapter 8.

How can we maximise the moment? Well, I don’t often get this right, but I am making an effort to maximise every moment. I am remembering that I must try to keep my spirits high in amongst of the various responsibilities and commitments which compete for my attention –even if I don’t feel like it.

I am learning the need to be more patient, and I am realising the crucial importance of impacting my generation through my words, thoughts and deeds; and I am learning to take time to read, to take time to study and improve my knowledge base in my sphere of influence. These all necessitate me to maximise the moment.

Sounds toilsome?
Where is the joy in doing all of the above, for indeed quite literally this translates into work? Well, possessing the secret of joy will take work – and that’s the harsh reality of life.

The story of the ant in Proverbs 6 comes to mind again. It is often said that to succeed in life you ought to determine what it is you like doing (your passion), and having done that, remember that your vocation might be just that. Perhaps it is because when you do have a passion about something (read: your vocation, not your job), you can survive the pressures, the offences, the late nights, and the frustrations much better than you would if you did not give a hoot about the job you are involved in. When you do all of this what are you actually engaged in? To my mind you are dancing to the rhythm of life – therein is the secret of possessing joy.

My floral release: counting it all joy
Sometime ago I used to purchase fresh flowers for my home on a weekly basis, and I always, always looked forward to my visit to the florist. I loved to smell the variety of scents at the florist and the beauty of the many, many colourful flowers therein displayed.

I had a particular place for my flowers at home. They were always placed at the entrance of my home, and they were the very first thing that I saw as I arrived home, and the very last thing I saw every night as I left the living room to enter my bedroom. The colours and the scent of each weekly arrangement always captivated me. No matter how terrible a day I had had, no matter the freezing cold outside when I came into the house, I would always appreciate the gazing, calming floral arrangement.

Don’t get me wrong. That floral arrangement did not bring an end to whatever burden I had brought home with me. But it did help me to appreciate my surroundings and to maximise the moment. It helped me to appreciate that I had a sanctuary of my own (my home) in which I could place my therapeutic flora, and it helped me to appreciate the importance of paying attention to even the little pleasures of life.

It reminded me that in everything I ought to give thanks.

Taking Up Leadership Positions

2007-06-06T19:16:00.000Z

Do you rulers indeed speak justly? Do you judge uprightly among men? No, in your heart you devise injustice, and your hands mete out violence on the earth. Psalm 58 verses 1 and 2.

The Nigerian example - how not to do it
Being Nigerian, I am so often bemused by our political leaders. They criminally amass Nigeria’s wealth for themselves and families and yet, when they need medical treatment, must fly to Europe or America because we have few hospitals to call hospitals in our own country.

The roads they drive their luxury cars on are death traps. They give speeches to the world, marketing Nigeria as an investment climate but plough their own investments into foreign lands and foreign bank accounts. They dig boreholes in their homes and have the power generator switched on 24hrs a day because the power holding company leaks power instead of generating it - and the national water authority, well, has no authority. Completely un-intelligible.

We set up the Nigerian Harvard Law Students Alumni Association but do very little to address or confront pressing law and development challenges in our country. It is always and everywhere a status thing, and never a leadership and social responsibility issue.

I have a dream: the long walk to freedom
We all admire the likes of Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa – but why? They were driven by their convictions. They acted in response to social and political ills that they could not accept as individuals - and in turn discovered that many others felt the very same way but had not had the stomach to make a difference.

Jesus irrefutably made a difference. St Paul made a difference. Doctor of Jewish law: the schooled Saul. And yet he totally and completely let his conversion and convictions drive him. Mary Magdalene – and no, I am not hesitating to use her as an example. She was the woman with the alabaster box – poured a perfume worth a year’s salary on her Lord. Her purpose was to unreservedly honour Him Who had giving her life true meaning – no matter what it would cost her financially.

Lessons from a Cricketer and the Makings of a Social Justice Politician
I watched a programme on CNN the other week on the Pakistani cricketer now turned politician, Imran Khan.

Privileged background, Oxford University, international playboy et al, Khan embarked on an international cricketing career and then married the heiress Jemima Goldsmith. Back in Pakistan, dismayed by the social and political injustice he saw all around him, he became a philanthropist (partly driven by the passing of his mother from cancer – there was no hospital in Pakistan to treat cancer) and built a world class hospital to treat the poor and underprivileged for cancer.

He then embarked on a political career, setting up his own political party, Movement for Justice, and became an MP. The movement's main focus is to bring justice to the people of Pakistan, largely via an independent judiciary. I’ll mention how his marriage broke down as a result of this later.

Stirring up the Pakistani Orange Revolution
It is not insignificant that the current political crisis in Pakistan, fuelled by the President’s questionable sacking of the Chief Justice, has highlighted the plight of legal inequity and non-independence of the Judiciary in Pakistan - and of course you know that the legal inequity always and everywhere favours the rich against the poor, right? Now his party has gained renewed prominence, and I hope will gain grounds in the coming elections.

Khan took up social and political leadership and responded to the cry to judge uprightly among men. The word on the street is that the Movement for Justice was inspired partly by Khan's renewed commitment to Islam.

Food for thought, Christian soldiers.

Well, Miss Ruka, what are you doing then?
Well, I don’t have plans to set up my own political party, but I do hold leadership positions on a number of outreach initiatives here on the African continent - where I volunteer my professional knowledge and experience in an advisory capacity for initiatives to benefit the under privileged. It can be that simple.

Can two walk together unless they agree?
The point about Imran Khan’s marriage breakdown is this. Whilst he was busy finding and executing purpose, his wife, quite rightly, wanted to enjoy the fullest of conjugal bliss - with her spouse’s time. But with the purpose driven Imran I assume devoting insufficient quality time (note, not quantity) to his spouse and family, a divorce came knocking on their marital door.

What I found insightful about Imran Khan’s response to the break up is this: he echoed words to the effect that his marriage presented him with the happiest moments of his life, but once the marriage was over, he just moved on and pursued his purpose all the more.

The point is, such people, mad with purpose, will just go on doing what they feel they need to do. It’s almost as though the purpose, the dream, is their elixir.

Who were those deranged script writers and film producers who said Jesus was married when He was here on earth? Yeah, right.

Lessons from St Paul
When St Paul said it is better not to marry I think I now understand what he meant. I don’t think he was not saying that we should not marry at all – what I think he was saying was that some of us will be so driven by purpose that it could almost consume us – to the chagrin of our spouse and family.

‘Do not be unequally yoked.’ It’s time to give this Biblical instruction wider scope. Might we therefore be obliged to carefully consider and ensure that we can and are prepared to bear the yoke of our spouse's commission? Me thinks so.

Me also thinks we must in tandem pursue our own God-given purpose – and not wait for that purpose to be defined by our spouse or partner. And oh no, I am not suggesting that our own purpose should conflict with that of our partner’s. In fact it must not, for then two will not walk together for they will not agree. If our two purposes can actually be complementary – then we are in business.

Leadership Responsibilities and Domestic Management
A possibel remedy? Making quality time available for the domestic front - for these also are a part of our God-given commissions and our leadership responsibilities. A friend and colleague who is as equally purpose driven and busy with a capital b as her husband tells me this: ‘‘life is too short to whinge. Make and take every opportunity to enjoy quality time – not whinge time.”

Something to offer to this world
Our leadership and social responsibilities may not be as celebrated as those of Mandela or Imran Khan, but we all have a responsibility to be true to our convictions, redeem the time, take hold of every opportunity and rise up to the leadership and social responsibility challenges which come forth as a result.

Our experiences, knowledge and contributions are far greater and wider than we suppose, and many around us need to learn, grow and benefit from our experience and knowledge much more that we suppose. Let's reach out whilst managing our domestic world.

No one is going to change the world for us but ourselves.

Gathering the Courage to Take Risks

2007-05-31T09:15:00.000Z

I wrote this almost a year ago now. It spoke volumes to me:

Risk, risk, and yet more risk
Working for a global accounting firm, I am accustomed to being reminded every hour of every day on the importance of managing risks; and the Bible is full of examples of every day people who took risks. Every day people who dared to believe God, who dared to be moved by Godly counsel or who dared to honour God (at times hesitantly) through an act of obedience to the quiet voice within: the eleven disciples, Esther and Abraham are but a few examples.

Risk taking is an intrinsic part of every day life, and the decision, the choice, as to whether to take a risk or not unambiguously demonstrates the resolve, values and faith level of the one who is doing the decision making.

Beauty queen turned liberator
Esther’s story is a significant illustration of the necessity and the value of gathering the courage to take risks. Hers was a particularly noteworthy risk taking venture; fuelled by reverence, great spiritual resolve, and respect for her mentor Mordecai. Having made it to the palace as queen, Esther’s cousin and mentor Mordecai sends a message to her with instructions to go to the king and plead with him to annul the decree to massacre the Jews in all the king’s provinces (the Book of Esther, chapter 4).

Esther’s response is honest, yet painstaking: ‘’Everyone who works for the king here, and even the people out in the provinces, knows that there is a single fate for every man or woman who approaches the king without being invited: death. The one exception is if the king extends his gold sceptre; then he or she may live. And it’s been thirty days now since I’ve been invited to come to the king.’’

Go get a mentor
Her cousin’s response demonstrates the importance of having mentors to guide and counsel you during times of difficulty, during seasons which require risk-taking. ‘’Don’t think that just because you live in the king’s house you are the one Jew who will get out of this alive. If you persist in staying silent at a time like this, help and deliverance will arrive for the Jews from someplace else; but you and your family will be wiped out. Who knows? Maybe you were made queen for just such a time as this.’’

Two points shout out at me in that response: realising that God wants to use you but if you don’t avail yourself to be used He has other alternatives, and the fact that to everything there is a season, a right time for everything under the sun. This was Esther’s season; her opportunity to choose to impact her generation. Fuelled by this counsel, Esther reverently declares a three-day fasting and praying period and works through a plan to approach the king, uninvited: ‘’I will go to the king, even though it is forbidden. If I die, I die.’’ That is risk taking to the core.

The dignity of reverence
A testimony to the power of prayer and fasting, the dignity of reverence for God and the reward of gathering the courage to take risks, the Bible records that Esther, uninvited, approaches the king and he, uncharacteristically, welcomes her and hears her out. In a dramatic turnaround, the plot - to massacre all the exiled Jews who lived in the expanse of fifth century BC Persia – fails.

And then none get killed
It turns out that no God-representing men and women get killed in this story.

I am convinced that God-honouring and God-worshipping people do not get killed, do not die, do not get totally cut off, in anyone of our life stories - whether that be spiritually, emotionally, financially or whichever the case may be. The Bible says weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. It also records the words of Christ Jesus which warn that in this world we will have many troubles, but also enlightens us that for us, Christ has overcome them all.

Learning to lose ourselves in faith, hope and love
Victory is assured because of the decisions you make, the risks you take and the sacrifices that you make in reverence to the Word, the leading of the Holy Spirit and the Blood shed for each one of us at Mount Calvary. Matthew 28 reads: ‘’Meanwhile, the eleven disciples were on their way to Galilee, headed for the mountain Jesus had set for their reunion. The moment they saw Him, they worshipped Him. Some, though, held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally.’’ Noting the presence of his disciples, and in reverence to His Father, Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and told them exactly what He had in mind to tell them, regardless of the doubting Thomas’ who did not want to risk themselves totally. He gave them this charge: ‘’Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.’’

Should I stay or should I go?
I woke up this morning with my head full of a risk-taking choice which I have to decide on. Faced with an offer of relocation to a position in which I’d enjoy a significant salary increase, in a country of my birth and where I would be with my elderly mother, my siblings - plus the prospect of notably more challenging and exciting work - I still find myself wanting. Age thirty-five and alone in a third country which has become my home over the past three years, I ponder what I would lose if I took the risk and accepted the offer before me.

And what about my networks?
What I know for sure is that the one thing I would lose is the intimacy with God in the community of believers I have come to know and cherish through the local church I have been attending over the past three years; and the treasured, life-impacting friendships I have come to develop among a few people that work and play has brought me in contact with. What a delight and comfort some of these have been.

On being faithful to what you know you've been called to do
In my local church, I serve as a steward in various leadership capacities. Through that same local church I have also come into contact with a handful of like-minded people and made some friendships which have led to the formation of a number of exciting outreach projects. And I don’t want to give these up. I don’t want to start all over again. I know that intimacy with God is something that you carry with you, that there are a thousand and one other Word-based and life impacting churches in the city in which I am being offered this promotion, and that God can make me a home in this new city and put me into contact with a new family of believers – but I don’t want to go. And I am not sure if I am being short-sighted.

On trusting in Him
My heart says no; that there is work also to do here. The singular and distinct feature which attracts me to the offer is the prospect of yet more challenging and exciting work. But my heart is telling me that if I take the risk of believing God and remaining in my seemingly ‘desert land’, He will make the rough places smooth and that I will drink water from rocks. And like Esther, I want to talk this over with my mentor.

As I embarked on quiet time this morning, I flicked through my Bible and came across a decisive note I had written alongside Matthew 28 verses 16-20 almost a year ago. It reads as such: ‘’Don’t be unsure about risking your life totally in worship of God. It is in totally risking your life in worship, total worship of God, that you regain your life – that you regain hope, joy, prosperity, you regain back lost dreams. Therefore do not be afraid – and give your life totally to God, in Christ Jesus. 13 July 2005, Nairobi, Serena Hotel.’’