When Hope is Deferred

A longing unfulfilled?
One of the scriptures which always shouts out to me in the magnitude of its truth is ‘hope deferred makes the heart grow weary, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.’ Proverbs 13 verse 12. But I certainly find that more often than I want, I do find that my heart does grow weary and I am downcast.

It’s usually those times when I have been pondering on when the things I am hoping for will come to pass and when those things that I am trusting God for will be established. This is particularly heightened when I feel that I have done all that I know to do, but yet I am not experiencing the results (what am I saying results, a result would be fine thing) that I want or expect.

These are usually dark hours (at the best of times) and days (at the worst) of quietness, and, at the worst of times, pure strop. I usually then come to my right mind try and work things out in my own head (write things out on the PC as I am doing now), and ask myself hard questions as to why I might be feeling what I am feeling. I call it being in touch with my emotions.

Being in touch with my emotions and, well, minor road rage
What I do find during these moments is that I come face to face with the harsh reality of my situation, and attempt to deal with the issues which I might have to change, and address how I might have to change them. But what I am finding, what I am realising more so these days is that I am naively unrealistic about the magnitude of the many variables which are at force in bringing about the result that I want in any situation, and I am realising, crucially, that I am quite honestly, somewhat impatient – and that’s putting it lightly. A trivial case in point. I often start each day thinking and saying to myself, ‘I am not going to overtake another vehicle on the road today. I am not going to overtake another vehicle. I am not…,’ - only to find myself doing exactly that as soon as I hit the road. God help me.

Tender evaluation committees et al
Let’s deal with the first issue - the magnitude of the variables which are at force in bringing about the results that I want. I’ll use a work example.

Say I am part of a team that submits a significant tender, we’ve all worked tirelessly hard, we’ve competed with the best companies globally in our field, and we’ve prayed. But months on, we don’t hear anything back from the client. ‘The evaluation committee has not concluded the evaluation process yet.’’ As a Christian, I must hold on in expectation, in faith and in hope. And as I do, I regret to say, I do find that I do so fret. But I am sure I am not alone in that habit. I fret because I think I did the best that I could, I prayed and worked long, hard hours. Surely that’s enough to bring in the results that I want? And we are talking about a possible sizeable contract.

What I often omit to think about is the other side of the coin. The other side of the coin is that there may be some rent seeking issues going in within the tender committee; another company may have submitted a better more comprehensive tender; someone from the competing team may have treated the prospective client to a lavish lunch at that impressive and grossly expensive restaurant in town, or quite frankly, our tender, despite my best efforts, may just inadequately address the client’s needs.

And I think I must more often than not think of the other side of the coin. These are powerful forces at play. Their presence does not in anyway diminish my effort or determine my value, all it means is that I must be alert to the various dynamics at play and I must settle down to the realities of these dynamics. I must not put undue pressure on myself and I certainly must not evaluate myself and my efforts on the results of dynamics which are quite frankly warped and outside of my control.

The G-Factor
But I think the reason I do fret is because of the G-factor –the God factor. Like David, I am asking God, ‘why this?’ I am asking Him, since He is the creator of the universe, ‘can He not ensure that I get this want met?’ Well, He may the creator of the universe, but, hello, He does not have to do what I ask Him to do when I ask Him –He will move for me when He wants to.

Yes, I may have paid my tithes, given offerings, served in church and done all of those good and wonderful things we are taught to do in the Bible and in church. Yes, I have done them, but the timing of the release of my joy is up to the Creator of the universe and the sooner we all realise that fact the less sleepless (and for my sisters reading this, cry less) nights we’ll have.

This one is for my sisters - keeping it real
Let’s go to a raw issue. Relationships. I tear my hair out for the million and one things I have to do week in and week out – demanding work schedule, MBA lectures and assignments, travel to the other side of the continent, church stewardship activities, the gym, me needing ‘me time.’ The list is endless. And then, at the end of the day, I also want him to be there when I want him to be there - wherever 'there' is - and that can be anywhere depending on the time of the month. But, hmm, hello, can somebody remember that there is another side of the coin? Can somebody remember that he has a million and one thousand and one other things to do just like I do? Can somebody remember that he has a life outside of me? No.

It’s called the microwave mentality. I want it and I want it in a few seconds – forget a few minutes. Aren’t we supposed to be into each other? Isn’t that what it’s all about? Well, yes we are. But I think we are also meant to respect each other’s needs and commission in life. If one factor overbearingly outweighs the other, then we might have a problem. Dealing with that is not a topic for today.

Constantly praying the Serenity Prayer
I am learning that the 21st century living is challenging living. We need more patience, more understanding, more insight and more wisdom. God says in the book of Exodus chapter 31 verse 3 that He has ‘filled us with His Spirit and given us skills, abilities and knowledge in all kinds of crafts.’ That will take some working. Working your land, tilling your abilities, tilling your knowledge and those skills in all kinds of crafts so that you can become, so that you can be in the fullness of the abilities He has called us into. That the God who gave David such wisdom even as his heart was sick from deferred hope also give us divine wisdom to do as is written in the Serenity Prayer:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next."

And the congregation said Amen.

Accepting the things we may not like
The ability to accept things that we may not like, gather courage and exercise wisdom are three qualities that build our character. The serenity prayer expresses the truth that life can be a challenge. What am I saying life can be a challenge? Life can be a struggle - full stop. The Serenity prayer seeks God's help with life’s many struggles, one day at a time. We need to pray for God to manifest these qualities in us, specifically asking for clarity and wisdom for those situations where we need to determine whether we should accept or change our approach to the challenge.

Our pastor gave a definition of faith at service this morning. Here goes. Faith is the ability to wait for God to bring about the fullness of what He (my emphasis) wants to do you in your life.

That keeps it real for me. Hello, somebody?