Transition to The Other Side

One of my colleagues passed a few weeks ago. Kojo Atiase.

Kojo had been ill briefly. On that Monday afternoon I had a 3pm meeting with a colleague. Half an hour to the time he came to me to ask if we could meet at 7pm instead – Kojo’s wife had just called to say that he had been admitted to the Teaching Hospital and was in a bad way.

7pm. My colleague was still not back in the office. I called him. “I’m on my way home – I didn’t like the way I saw Kojo. He’s in a bad way.” Now I became alarmed. This colleague was very pensive. Apparently Kojo had suddenly become paralysed on Sunday and they’d brought him to the hospital. Kojo could barely speak.

The fateful Tuesday morning.
Another colleague who is very close to Kojo went very early to the hospital the following morning. He came back weeping like a baby. Wailing, in fact. On the floor. I became scared.

Kojo was so ill that he could not talk, could not open his eyes, as well as being paralysed. Help me out here, for Kojo is 28. A lively, charming, intelligent and yet very respectful young man. Liked by everyone

We informed the partners of our firm. A few calls were made to the hospital. Whatever it takes, at whatever cost, please do it was their message to the consultants who were taking care of Kojo.

A few hours later I made a call to their department. Any more news? I enquired. “It’s bad,” my colleague said. I put the phone down and walked over to their department.

At this stage all I thought was that, at the very worst, Kojo’s condition had deteriorated even further. I went to their department to enquire on what actually the news was. I had not even noticed that everyone was unusually standing, pensive, in the open plan area. “Any news?’ “He’s gone,’’ was the response I got. “Gone where?’’ I asked. “He’s gone,” was all that was repeated to me. "Gone where?'' I asked again.

Bereavement
So Kojo passed. Shock. Distress. Alarm. So striking was the impact that Kojo had made on each and everyone of us that the firm had to organize for a Clinical Psychologist to counsel us all. The sessions are still ongoing, from group counseling to one-to-one sessions.

I attended one of the group sessions. And I came to realize that, in not being able to comprehend why and how someone like Kojo could pass as such a young age, I was actually upset with God.

Yes, I know. Who am I to be upset with God and what right to I have to question Him? Well, I’ll probably be the first to admit that I don’t have any right. But what else could I think? God is The Creator of the Universe, and I just could not help wandering why He had let this happen?

The Clinical Psychologist made me realize though that the emotion that I am feeling is ‘normal’, so to speak. He said that many of us who knew and loved Kojo would be in denial; others in shock; others angry (at God, at Kojo, at themselves) and others yet still very sad. “Well, I am not alone then”, I thought.

The Obituary
Kojo’s obituary is in today’s newspaper, with the lovely picture from his wedding day, not even a year ago. Beloved Kojo. His funeral is on Saturday 13th. What a distressing event that would be.

All that resounds in my head is the words of my pastor to me in this regard: You will not always understand Him but You cannot afford to be separated from Him.