Balance

Berated by friends world over for the general strike on my blog postings, it’s time to apologise for the absence of postings in 2010 and get back to work. It time to say welcome to 2011, and to say welcome to balance. Balance, the inspiration that stimulates me to write. For when I reflect on the year 2010 I remember relocation, and the concomitant busy-ness and exhilaration that comes together with it. Plenty of fun, plenty of activity but I am not certain that there was enough balance close at hand.

But I thank God that I am finding that balance that I so need to awaken my inspirations once again. Before I turned 40 last autumn, I could not even spell the word balance. We are often told that 40 represents a significant milestone, and as I approached my own significant milestone I began my stock take. Good God, what an exercise in self- abuse and maltreatment.

Like most people who ventured into such reflection, I couldn’t find enough evidence of significant accomplishment. Or rather I chose not to see the evidence of my many triumphs over the past four decades. So whilst I should have been thanking God, my parents, my siblings and dear friends world over for their tremendous love and kindness shared over the years, I rather selfishly looked inwards - and as I did that I found that there was much more that I had hoped to accomplish, could have accomplished and much more that I needed to crack on to accomplish in the coming years. But it was that focus on the imbalance that kept me off-balance, and threatened to keep me fearful.

It was during that season that I was invited to be a panellist at a women’s conference. I thanked the organisers for inviting and told them how I would have loved to be a part of the forum, but for my imbalance. I explained away my excuses by saying that only a whole person could give back and at the juncture that I found myself, I didn’t feel whole and therefore could not convey the inspiration that participants to the conference would surely be expecting from me. The conference organisers promptly found other more willing panellists.

A Sense of Urgency
But the God Who is able to keep us from falling ensured that I knew balance once again. 40 to me brought a sense of urgency; an urgency to do those things that you’ve always wanted to do, to be that person you’ve always wanted to become, to appreciate those relationships with friends and family, and an urgency to be less rigid and less judgemental in my approach and take on issues of life.

The day itself was spent in the company of very dear friends in appreciation of their love and kindness over the years, and the celebration of a few days after that was an intimate dinner party by the poolside with a dozen carefully chosen friends in Ghana and Nigeria. It was love and gratitude in motion. A day after the celebration I flew out to Dubai en route to South Africa. No, no shopping trip for me. I wanted to spend time with an old friend who I had not seen for at too many years and whose husband and children I had not yet met. It was to be a moment of cherishing and appreciating a childhood friendship. And what a time it was.

Then came South Africa. I arrived in Joburg and although my host offered to pick me up at the airport I declined on the offer because I wanted to take the Guatrain. How I revelled at the Gautrain! Africa is coming of age. Within a few minutes I was in Sandton. My dearest friend and life coach Thandie met me at the train station and within an hour of my arrival her friends had arrived at her home with flowers and champagne to welcome me. A few hours after that we were at dinner. Six 30 and 40 somethings sharing experiences, thanking God for our journey thus far and inspiring one another for the next milestone. If ever I had forgotten that I was blessed, I remembered again there and then.

The Wonderful Western Cape

A few days after that we flew to Cape Town. I had travelled to South Africa countless times but I had never experienced South Africa until this trip. I wanted to see Table Mountain, to experience the wine farms of the Western Cape, enjoy the extravagance of a luxury eco-reserve hotel, see the Cape of Good Hope and enjoy the best of Western Cape’s seafood and wine. Church and fellowship South Africa style was also part of the equation.

If ever God spoke to me loud and clear during 2010 it was during those days (and that long drive from Cape Town to Knysna and back to Cape Town) spent in South Africa. What did He say? Many things. But the long and short of it was to reassure me of His love and care, and to remind me that all those hard and fast rules religious rules I had harboured and imposed on myself, were nothing to do with Him.

I like the way Eugene Peterson put it in his introduction to the book of Hebrews in The Message translation of the Holy Scriptures. Mr Peterson says this: ‘it seems odd to have to say so, but too much religion is a bad thing. We can’t get too much of God, can’t get too much faith and obedience can’t get too much love and worship. But religion – the well intentioned efforts we make to ‘get it all together’ for God – can very well get in the way of what God is doing for us..... we become fussily religious, or anxiously religious. We get in the way’. Back to my balance then.

Balance. Finding your equilibrium. Consistently nurturing your inspirations. Consistently improving your character. Responding to your equilibrium. Meditation. Prayer. Sharing. Avoiding the temptations of busy-ness to ‘get it all together’ whilst ignoring those experiences and relationships that really matter.